Young Writers Society

So, this is a song I wrote for a friend. It started out just being a poem, but then they told me to make it into a song. This song has one "bad word" in it, so I don't know if I have given it the correct rating. Let me know. Also, I have never written a song before, so feel free to tell me your honest opinion! I hope you enjoy it!

~~~~~~

[Verse 1]
How do you feel,
about this life long commitment we're sealing?
What is different,
about this late night kiss we're stealing?
What exactly is this that we're feeling?
Could this be love?
Baby, what is love?

[Refrain]
Love is looking if your eyes.
Love is being yourself.
Love is allowing you to walk away,
knowing damn right you'll turn back around.
Love is deep,
and love is sure.
Love is what we have, and a whole lot more.
Yeah, this is love.

[Verse 2]
How do we know,
that this is right?
And what gives me the nerve to forgive you,
every time we have a fight?
What is the cause,
of my crying in the night?
Could this be love?
Baby, what is love?

[Refrain]
Love is looking if your eyes.
Love is being yourself
Love is allowing you to walk away,
knowing damn right you'll turn back around.
Love is deep,
and love is sure.
Love is what we have, and a whole lot more.
Yeah, this is love.

[Bridge]
Layin' beside you, listening to you breathe.
Kissin' your lips, and knowin' all this is real.
Feelin' your heart beat, as the world is spinning fast.
Lookin' deep into your eyes, and knowin' what you feel.
Love is hard,
Love is tough.
Love is good for me, but baby is love enough?

Love is missing you crazy.
Love is helping you through.
Love is remembering all of the times,
we've been apart and how we made it through.
Love is big,
and love is pure.
Love is what we have, and this I know for sure.
Yeah, this is love.

It's nice...

Hiya! You asked me to write review this for you.

I think this could be so much more original. I've heard pretty much every line in this song in multiple places, or if not, something similar. There are so many different, more original ways you can get the same idea across, and I suggest going the metaphorical path. Those songs tend to be better, and people can even draw their own interpretations, which is more interesting as well as more original.

I hope I helped!
>>Annie<<

It seems no one picked up on you saying \"Love is looking if your eyes. \" rather than saying \"Love is looking in your eyes\". You made this mistake twice.

I agree with Razcoon, this whole piece wasn\'t really original and it had that old cliche\' atmosphere to it. Love really isn\'t easy to describe because a lot of people mistake \"infatuation\" with \"love\" when they are completely two different things. I try not to explain what love is because it varies with each individual.

dregymayfield - I know love is hard to explain. That is how this started. My friend asked me what love was...and I told her I didn't know how to explain it, but she made me try.
--Thanks for you edit!

and

Razcoon - I will try to revise this and add a metaphor of some sort.

Thanks guys!
-Jessa

This is a nice song! I only wish I could listen to it on the radio too! LOL

Haha you could listen to it on the radio if the person who is writing the music for it would ever finish! Lol.
But I'm glad you like it!

-Jessa