Young Writers Society

Footsteps echo down endless halls,
Bodies litter these blood-stained floors.
Could this be the war to end all wars?
Confined in my head, a battle behind walls

Take me away (x2)

You can't hide from what you cannot see.
All that’s left here is you and me.
Where the shadows dance is where I’ll be,
Forever chained, never free.

Take me away (x2)

When the stars rain down in balls of flame,
and we leave with place with nothing to gain,
will you play along and just whisper my name?
Coz I've got nothing left but fame.

Take me away (x2)

When you’ve lost everything it’s hard to keep strong
And I never thought I’d admit to being wrong
But everything’s changed, it’s been so long
Take me away.

Take me away (x2)

I don’t know who I am
I’ve lost myself to the voices again
But I don’t care
Coz as long as you’re here, by my side
As long as you are mine
I can survive this life

Take me away
Fly me to the end of days
And we’ll live life the good old ways
I wanna never worry
I wanna never cry
I wanna live happily, with you by my side
Take me, take me away
Let’s escape the scar of society

Hey, Undeadbunnie! I think your lyrics are great! Though, if you want to turn it into a real song, you need a chorus.

undeadbunnie wrote:
I don’t know who I am
I’ve lost myself to the voices again
But I don’t care
Coz as long as you’re here, by my side
As long as you are mine
I can survive this life

Take me away
Fly me to the end of days
And we’ll live life the good old ways
I wanna never worry
I wanna never cry
I wanna live happily, with you by my side
Take me, take me away
Let’s escape the scar of society

I think that part would be a great chorus. The last stanza or group of lines would also do fine as the chorus. Also, you might want to change "Coz" to "Cause". It won't change your song at all, it'll only change the way you spell it.
Overall, I think the song is great!

I love it! It reminds me of a Linkin Park song. I especially love the line, "I don’t know who I am, I’ve lost myself to the voices again". Beautiful line. I want to hear this with music! Great song.

Interesting topic. I liked the lyric and I really couldn't see anything to correct. Keep up the good work.