Young Writers Society

Verse:
You use to look at me with your wonderful eyes and every time you would I would smile,
I couldn’t help but think if you would ever be mine, but we wouldn’t happen even for a little while.
You use to make me laugh and when you did I couldn’t help but blush,
and when you helped me with math I couldn’t understand it so I would rush. Then you took the time to help me understand it, and then I finally got it.

Chorus:
Remember those good times we’ve had when we would share a laugh,
I can’t believe that you are gone tell me what I did wrong.
Remember those good times we’ve had when we would walk hand in hand?
Well I guess that I have to accept, that you are gone.

Verse two:
It was just like yesturday when you and I were together;
I thought that we would live happily ever after.
I still remember that one special kiss,
and boy those are the times that I really miss.
But then you made a decision and we broke up.
I can’t believe that you just gave us up.
If only you would see the way I act around you,
You’d probably know that I still love you.

*chorus*

Bridge:
Every time I thought about you, my heart would break in two.
Now I have to be strong and forget about you.

*chorus*

Ending: Remember those good times, oooh, just you and I.

Okay I probably should take more time over this but it's just got one BIG issue: FORCED RHYME!!!
I would recommend in the future not basing your writing around what will rhyme (and please don't deny it it is blatantly obvious) because this makes for somethiing that sounds amature, generic and essentially, has no ability to effect the reader/listener. Song writing should be harder than that, you need to really pay attention to each line. Try writing down in rough what you want to say in each line - don't try to be poetic - THEN go back over it and change all the lines (find rhymes if you want them) so that they have a better poetic feel to them. All it takes is perserverence!