Young Writers Society

Would you mind if I kept this memory
’Till the end of time?
Remember you once you've forgotten me
One day, years from now
When I look behind
Try to recall a face that I can't see
What it should be

And as we drift nearer to the ending
Our time slips away
One day closer to our last goodbye
When I file away all my pictures
Tell myself someday
I'll find you again but I'll know its a lie
Call out but no reply

A flame that's just been extinguised
The embers stray
Desperately trying to stay alive
But I know it won't be long before
They smoulder away
And float off towards the skies
A lonely sunrise

To be honest, it does nothing for me. I can't imagine it set to music and flowing- it seems more like a poem than a song. I think you should add some sort of chorus, or a repeated line; there seems to be o central theme, no idea that runs right the way through it. I think if there was a chorus between these verses, it's be a rather nice song. =)