Daddy you're my hero

Daddy you're my hero

She was lying in bed waiting for daddy to come in and give her a good night kiss.
He came in and sat on the edge of her bed. Cradled her up and kissed her head.
She said as she drifted off to sleep, something that made daddy's eyes fill with
tears.

Daddy you're my hero. You're number one not number zero.
You're my hero when
I cry. You'll be my hero even if you die.
Daddy you're my hero. Daddy you're my hero.

That next year daddy took his girl fishing. They were standing on a bridge when she
got a big bite and fell right in. the water was deep and the current was strong. Daddy
was brave enough to go alone. Down to the shore and he jumped right in. The water
was almost over his chin. He grabbed his girl and kept her over the water real tight.
Floated down the river all through the night. In the morning they were okay.
(repeat chorus)

A couple years later there was a very sad day. In his sleep daddy passed away.The
little girl cried for days. Soon she came out of this phase. At the funeral the little girl
stood up and sang that same old song. This time mama sang along.

Daddy you're my hero. You're number one not number zero. You're my hero even though
you died. You're my hero all the times I cried. Daddy you're my hero. Daddy you're my hero.

With just a quick read this really doesn't come off as lyrics to me at all. The lines are so long and it reads as more of a story to me.
I think to improve on this, try to break up the lines a little more. As you read through it, find the rhythm in the words (if you can't find a rhythm you've got a problem cause all songs need rhythm ) and where there is a natural break, start a new line.
Just with the first line, I read it as:
She was lying in bed
waiting for daddy to come in
and give her a good night kiss.
So try to do some more of that

Other than that, it's a good topic and everything so this should be really good

-Carly

If you could retype this and try to put it in short lined stanzas that would be great but the story you have here is not too bad. Could reword some lines like "Daddy you're my hero. You're number one not number zero." sounds more like a cheer than a song. But all in all not to shabby keep up the good work.