Young Writers Society

You’ve taken everything
All that we’ve gained
All that I’ve ever wanted
But now its all numb
Like the rain I’m standing in
I cant feel it hurting anymore
And tomorrow I’ll regret it
I’ll wish I wasn’t ill inside
But sick of sin is pushing
Just like when you pushed me out the door
I guess there’s nothing left here for us to gain;
But an illness from rejection
Or from the ice of pouring rain

* Not that you made me feel alright
Not as if you kept me safe
But knowing your not there
Tells me I’m far away from home

Angels,
Angel grinder any day
I know there wasn’t one sent to guard me
From the garden of Eden
Or even a Christmas tree
Although I’m no angel
Skipping a beat, my wings
Has holiness has betrayed me?
Just like my words betrayed your church
Do I miss being close to god?
*
Cannot sleep
don’t need it any more
Cant rely on rest
I cannot sleep
Not with you after me
And I could pray me safe
Pray myself to sleep
Into something I cant see
Fear only reassured by opening the bible after the questions are heard
Believing that an ink scar will protect me.
*
I have no home
Not in this church
No behind the pews
Not even begging on the church steps
I have no home:
Well, not in your eyes anyway

Home sweet home; is where my soul will stay;
If I don’t finish in time a spiritual scar will remain.

It was a little cliche up until "Angels" and from then on, it was a rather enjoyable piece. I could almost do without everything before that line. I also love the stanze about the church. Very simple, but creative at the same time. Also, the title's a little overused/boring.

Like person before me said, title's too cliche for such an un-cliche song. I love the "Has holiness betrayed me" although you put and extra has in. It's such a simple quetion but is filled with meaning and a deep sense of hurt and lonliness. In this question you articulated the questions of thousands of others and it's only 4 words. I just had to comment on that

The part:

"But sick sin is pushing"

Do you mean "But the sickness of sin is pushing"
or "But sick, sin is pushing" .
Though personally i think the first correction is better.

also:

"And I could pray me safe"
do you mean "And I could pray myself safe"
I would say "I could pray myself safe"
No "and" at the beginning.


To end positively . I would like to say that i really love this piece and end with my favourite line:

"Believing that an ink scar will protect me"