Young Writers Society

Nothing fits in my mind, forever more.
I say nothing will keep my boat afloat.

Because the shadow you keep
has blocked out the sun.
And the dust that you left,
has piled up high.
And the pain you gave me,
has stayed to this day,
and you know.

CHORUS

You were my sun on a cloudy day.
You were my wind on a summers night.
You were my friend when I needed one.
So why did you have to go away?

You were out of my room in a second,
Out of my house in five minutes,
Out of my life too quick...
So why did you...
Why did you have to go away?

END CHORUS

People told me it's been too long
And you're not coming back.
They say pack up the boxes,
Sell that guitar and don't look back.

All you did was bring me pain,
and wings of sorrow and grief.
It's not over till I stop to cry,
And forever is a long, long time.

CHORUS

you don't really need to go "meeeeeeeeeeee" We want to read the lyrics and see if they are pretty, not see how you might sing them.

Also some of your lines make no sense at all

No one else can ever replace
you
the way took my heart from
meeeeee

you showed me once
and your now
i cant believe you left so soon

Maybe you are missing words, I'm not sure.

You should try to make syllable patterns. Especially since these are lyrics, and could possibly go over music, you need some sort of pattern otherwise it might end up messy.

As for the subject matter, its the normal "You were everything to me, and now you are gone, why?" so...there wasn't much there. I did like the intro, though.

i really like it, i guess i relate it, its awesome

Its meaningful,its nice.
I liked it.

The flow of he lyric is good.

I ask you to sing it out.