Young Writers Society

We stood by each other
In a changing time of life.
Together, We gave truth our all.
Then in a world of dangers
And enticing distractions,
I helplessly watched you slip and fall.

True friends in this world
Are so hard to find.
Why turn your back on me now?
Forsaking good reason
And the bonds of your past,
I watch as your life comes crashing down.

Chorus: Let faith be a lifeline when you flounder in the dark.
Let it light your pathway when you stray from your mark.
I would give anything to see your safe return.
I would give anything to see your safe return.

Haunted by glimpses of a
Different kind of world;
A darkness that beckons to your soul.
Deceiving kind faces,
They're dragging you down;
Those who lead you far from your goal.

A mesmerizing glamor
Over a cold blackened steel,
The blade that cuts your strength and resolve.
Your have to arm yourself
And place your hand in mine,
Together life's mysteries we'll solve.

This was powerful, I'm not sure what it was about?
I liked your use of words instead of using the same old boring words everytime.
Well done x

Gorgeous lines and flow. I can sense the message is strong but it's full of holes and somewhat unclear. There isn't much revealing the thoughts you are trying to bring to life. I suppose it's written in a very open way where people can interpret it in a broad way.

Somehow, I think there still needs to be some more...clarification? The piece is really misty as it stands.

Nevertheless, it's good to keep the message broad. More people will be struck by it this way.

As always,

Miss POKE

I actually like how open it was; I could really relate to it. The only little nitpick "helplessly" in the first line seemed a little wordy. Maybe it works with the tune. I don't know. But other than that, I loved it! Sorry I can't be more helpful.

Good job Don Quixote.

Only one thing I would like to say is that in this line

Together, We gave truth our all.

truth our all?I didn't get that place.

In all it was touching and great.