We were both young when I met you, twelve years old, innocent, glowing - You told me all I'd need to know. You were my friend and my mentor. You were an angel. You helped me, guided me. I loved you like a sister, admired you as an idol. When I talked to you made me laugh You were my friend and my mentor You were an angel.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
Give me a place by the Christmas tree, make sure to say which presents are mine - have the kids tie them with ribbon in any color but red. Please have snow, icy, white like the clouds and I'll take the kids to skate on the ice rink downtown. Dear, I'm coming home - away from endless carnage. Can you make some candy canes? Decorate the tree? Our home, a wonderland of winter I dream of it each night. I'll be home for Christmas dear, so be sure to keep that mistletoe.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
There was a time, years ago, when we laughed, for innocence had overtook us. I remember the countless summer days together, when we had nothing to do. You got me in to trouble, but I still loved you, because you were my brother. You introduced me to your friends, involved me in your roughhousing, showed me how to hold a video game controller. Then the years went by, and you were noticed, you made friends - those who offered you bottles of beer and spray-paint cants. guess your sister wasn't cool anymore? You ignored me, shut me off, didn't tell me about your girlfriend even though I'd have liked to meet her. I was afraid you were going to die. Now you're in college and things are better - but I still can't talk to you like I used to. How 'bout, just for old times sake, you play a video game with your sister? Climb the fences around town with me, and buy sodas at the store. I miss you so very much - Love, your sister.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
Something told me you'd be there, waiting with your arms wide, waiting to hear my secrets and collect my tears. I can tell you anything; you'll understand, never be upset. Things can change in life -- the world's a scary place.
Sometimes I wish all could change to when everything was simpler. But I can't, so I'm blessed that you'll be there to help me when I cry, to share precious moments which make us smile.
You're older, you know more about this place and how it works. Things you say, always right.
Keep your arms wide for me to run to. Please don't ever leave me.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
So maybe reading these all in one go wasn't a good idea. xD A range of everything from Christmas wishes to slavery, all in five poems. You've got a really good range going on here, Eli, and I like your style quite a bit. The only thing that bugs me is that you lack a lot of imagery, and rely mostly on lyrical recollection to guide your narrative. I'd like to akin it to very swift prose that's easy to read, but doesn't paint too much of a picture, if that makes sense. Nevertheless, it's good poetry.
That said, my biggest tip is that you try to stretch your comfort zone to give room for a bit of purple--while having too much is an awful thing, it's still nice to have some color to your poetry. Flourish a tad bit, but don't sacrifice the good flow you have going for you.
Probably my favorite thing about your style is your re-used motifs within the same piece. It's almost like the chorus of a ballad, the way you weave it together. It's very sweet-tasting.
I read all of these aloud, and your flow is good; you falter in very few places, like:
guess your sister wasn't cool anymore?
It completely stops the momentum you had going. Also, in the line above, you added a 't' to 'cans'.
Other than that, you display that you obviously know what you're doing. And I'm also glad that I got to pay more attention to this because I really, really like your poetry.
-Lumistrocity
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon
I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
One day, things will change -- they will glitter, shine. The dark brown branches, dead with winter's frost will be alive with the pink buds of spring. We'll wear our skirts and shorts and enjoy breezy walks as school winds down and summer nears.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
In Kansas she was lonely, she was scared, timid. She, with all her heart, sings of her dreamland. It comes to her like clockwork, but isn't all that it seems. She wants to go home and she does, learning that home is the place to be.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
I sit alone underneath the cherry tree where you first kissed me on that summer day so long ago. Times were hard then, and we, with teenage minds, escaped to our own world. Little did we know of what would come.
I didn't want you doing it, but you were insistent, you would happily die so that Hitler would not prevail. And the day I watched you leave, teardrops in my eyes, I wondered if we would cross paths again. You came home for Christmas--the kids loved it, dear.
Three weeks later you'd be dead, fallen to the Axis. What to tell the kids? They're still young. I don't know how I will get by, so for now I sit alone under the cherry tree.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
Dancing, hopelessly - a beautiful bird takes her last stand she is a princess cast in a spell her one hope, forsaken. She falls in a pool of blood to die both in the fiction and in real life.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
the blood is gone, and this land, free. now it's just a beach, gray and forgotten. years ago, it told a different story of struggle and bloodshed - flying the colors of red, white and blue their boots trudged through waters and across the the sand while they in red and white and black watched from above, picking down the G.I's friends and mentors. he may see the end; where, they, despite the loss are victorious.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
a rainbow glitters in the sky, a palette of color stretched across endless blue. It arches over stores and houses alike, seems to touch the sidewalk, the grass, but this is only an illusion. those who see it, for some it's their first others their second, third, fourth or beyond - but on each face it brings a smile and clicking of cameras because they will remember this forever.
All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them. -- Walt Disney
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