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Young Writers Society


Rocks Under a Waterfall



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701 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 49988
Reviews: 701
Sat Apr 01, 2023 3:12 am
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ForeverYoung299 says...



Image

Being shattered into pieces,
But without the slightest pain,
Neither physical pain
Nor mental agony
For, I am a rock,
A rock under a waterfall
  





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701 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 49988
Reviews: 701
Fri Apr 07, 2023 2:00 pm
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ForeverYoung299 says...



Patriot

His golden statue on a copper pedestal,
His eyes threatening the limitless sky,
Daring the bounds and the barriers,
I admired and admire him, forever.

How greatly he followed his own passion!
Not caring about the 'mount of suffering,
He willingly sacrificed their own lives.
He is the true hero of our country!

Being bitten and torn by dreadful vultures
I see his senseless, blood-drenched body
Slowly getting wiped out of this world
All in my mind's eye!

Never saw him since he left for the unknown,
But I know, each and every one knows,
How bravely he died for his country,
Though his corpse never found!
  





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701 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 49988
Reviews: 701
Mon Apr 10, 2023 5:31 pm
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ForeverYoung299 says...



Broken dreams and broken glasses

Through the shards of broken glass,
I see my dreams rising high up in the sky,
How near they were once upon a time!
And how far they went on that very moment.

The ink blotted through my answer paper,
And my blood rushed through my veins,
All was good and perfectly fine, until...
If only I had realized that a bit sooner!

Now, my dreams are shattered like glass,
Some failures simply don't give a chance,
They are made to pierce you all along,
And you wonder why you did it wrong.
  





User avatar
701 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 49988
Reviews: 701




User avatar
701 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 49988
Reviews: 701




User avatar
701 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 49988
Reviews: 701




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455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22123
Reviews: 455
Sun Apr 30, 2023 2:32 pm
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Hijinks says...



Spoiler! :
You cover such a wonderful range of images and themes in just five poems! My favourite lines have got to be the opening couplet of Broken dreams and broken glass --
Through the shards of broken glass,
I see my dreams rising high up in the sky,

oof, such a simultaneously beautiful and sad image. Also I find it interesting how at the start of the poem you establish a sense of distance from the broken dreams -- they're far out of reach in the sky -- and then at the end of the poem you bring the broken dreams a lot closer with the image of shattered glass (which I imagine lying at the speaker's feet). Playing around with perspective like that can have a very neat effect!

Awesome job this NaPo, Forever!
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  








Life is a banana peel and I am the fool who dared to tread on it.
— looseleaf