Young Writers Society

Hey again!

"Can anyone hear me" was such a great way to begin a spoken word poem, and WOW that was very emotive, I could almost see it being read as a dialogue of a play, excellent reading. That long pause between "haluccination" and "am I dead" was also really effective - and your pacing and volume changes throughout really did add to the piece. And the line "is this how ghosts are made" I also thought was really interesting.

Also AHHH love a good blackout poem, glad you included one of those! The first "stanza" of the blackout in particular I really enjoyed.

Thank you so much, @lliyah! I have to thank my drama teacher for my dramatic pauses and volume changes. Hills and valleys do wonders.

The blackout poem was dedicated to you. You said I should try one, so I did! Thanks for the encouragement.

Five promises shall be kept.
Even as you grow distant,
and our friendship starts to strain.
Five simple promises to keep:
To only exchange sugar-sweet words
and protect each other forever.
Always be there, day or night,
and never be the villain.
And, most importantly,
to always, and I mean always, be friends.

Five promises shall be kept.
At least, I thought so until today.
This morning, I gave you sugar,
and you simply shrugged.
At lunch, I gave you nothing but honey,
and you didn't even respond.
Walking home, I spun cookies and cakes,
and you gave me vinegar and lemon juice.
Then, you stormed off, bitter and sour.
But it's fine; there's still four promises.

Four promises shall be kept.
At least until she came along.
I tried not to be jealous.
A friend of yours was a friend of mine!
But, she hated me with her entire heart.
She told me I didn't belong.
She told me I should die.
And you didn't say anything.
You even laughed at her jokes.
But that's okay; there's still three promises.

Three promises shall be kept.
At least until my mom died.
It was sudden, I'll admit.
In the middle of the night,
where almost no one noticed.
I was so alone, sobbing and broken.
I texted you half a million times.
And you never answered.
You left me on read all night.
But I don't mind; there's still two promises.

Two promises shall be kept.
At least until I tried to understand you.
I only asked why you didn't respond.
I had forgiven you already, I swear!
I was just curious, that's all.
I didn't see why you'd mind.
You didn't take it very well.
You said no one cared about me,
or my stupid dead mom.
But I'll be fine; there's still one promise.

One promise shall be kept.
At least until you shattered me.
It was during recess, right after lunch
You were with her; I was by myself.
You came up to me, arms crossed.
I asked you to play, that's all.
Why was that such a big mistake?
You told me you hated me,
that you always had.
And I cried, all because of our promises.

One promise shall be kept.
I grew up, you know.
I'm not the same kid you betrayed.
You haven't talked to me since.
I don't know what I'd do if you did.
But, I moved on and made new friends.
Nothing lasts forever; things wither.
You may have poisoned us,
but you never poisoned me.
And I'll survive with or without you.

I Can't Apologise for Growth



I don't believe I deserve this.
Why can't you recognise that?
I have changed too much,
and we don't fit anymore.
I can't apologise for growth.

Your words have turned wicked,
and your declarations of love are cruel.
You kiss me just to bite my tongue.
You've fallen in love with the taste of my blood.
I don't believe I deserve this.

I spent a few nights inside my head,
and walked out a new person.
I had some growing up to do,
a few thousand boundaries to make.
Why can't you recognise that?

I don't think you ever loved me,
but you certainly don't now.
You love the attention I used to give you,
but I'm too quiet now.
I have changed too much.

You said we were like puzzle pieces,
the polar opposite ends of magnets.
But I am not missing parts.
I don't need to be completed,
and we don't fit anymore.

But, somehow, you hate me for this.
And I suppose that's fine.
I won't try to control your feelings,
but don't expect me to back down.
I can't apologise for growth.

Injecting Myself with Poison Again


Once again, I hold the needle in my hand.
Why am I such a coward?
Why can't I handle one single moment?
I feel that white flash in my gut,
and the needle's already in my skin.
My veins are already burning.

I inject myself with poison again.

It happens every time I open my mouth.
Every time I try to defend myself.
The words shrivel to husks on my tongue,
and I pump arsenic into my blood.
I blackout before I can try again.
I've already hit the floor before anyone's noticed.
The vial shatters beside me,
but the syringe stays perfectly intact.

I inject myself with poison again.

I tried to lock away the bottles,
and threw away my old needles.
But cyanide ends up in my hands,
and more track marks appear on my forearms.
As much as I eject and bleed out,
it always ends right back in my system.

I inject myself with poison again.

Oh, to be unharmed again.
To clean my heart of scars
and erase the bruises on my arms.
Oh, to be unharmed again.

To clean my heart of scars,
the jagged lightning bolts you left.
I want to own my chest,
to clean my heart of scars.

The jagged lightning bolts you left,
deeply embedded in my skin.
God, your touch was unadulterated sin,
the jagged lightning bolts you left.

Deeply embedded in my skin
shards of broken bones.
Or shattered porcelain, I suppose,
deeply embedded in my skin.

Shards of broken bones
scattered around my face like a halo.
I'm alright? Well, if you say so.
Shards of broken bones.

Scattered around my face like a halo
the blood from your fists.
Your frantic grasp leaves bruises on my wrist
scattered around my face like a halo.

The blood from your fists.
Oh, to be unharmed again.
Is this how I meet my end?
The blood from your fists.

Oh, to be unharmed again.
To clean my heart of scars
and erase the bruises on my arms.
Oh, to be unharmed again.

If Only Love were Contagious

If only love were contagious
Then I could love myself as well
and agree with the stories you tell
But our hearts only serve to break us
If only love were contagious

But I'm too scared to leave my shell,
too afraid of falling into social Hell
I'm sure our brains were made to hate us
If only love were contagious

When it comes to loving me, you excel
while I gave up and rang the knell
If only my soul were gracious.
If only love were contagious.

All I need is a simple love spell
After all, isn't that how you fell?
Our feelings only betray us
If only love were contagious

Hey there! Your poems continue to be very striking in their emotional delivery - every one of them there's no lack of clarity to what the speaker is feeling, it is very clearly expressed.

I liked in these last two poems with the references to contagious and plague how they could take on extra meaning given the Covid contest and overall the metaphor of wishing love was contagious is one I haven't read before but is an interesting take.

"Oh to be unharmed again" takes some really dark turns and at times I'm not sure if I should read as metaphorical or real bodily descriptions, but is quite heart-breaking throughout - especially these lines:

Shards of broken bones
scattered around my face like a halo.
I'm alright? Well, if you say so.

they're some how even more haunting with the casual "well, if you say so."

Really nice work so far! Not sure if you're tackling any more poems in the final NaPo Week, but if you are good luck in writing & thank you for what you've shared so far. <3

All the best!

Hello, @lliyah!

Sorry for the late response, but I didn't want to ignore your lovely review. Thank you for your comments! Unfortunately, some facets of Oh to be Unharmed Again are very real, but others are more symbolic. I'm glad you enjoyed what I ended up posting, and I'm sorry I didn't post more.