Young Writers Society

HELLO HELLO!
I've been meaning to comment on these all month because many of these are really good and you have a lot of lines in here that are just absolute gems and show off your poetic strengths of this interlinking tight imagery and compelling questions/thoughts.

Just some specific comments:

it's easy to be hollow.
you see this body? yes, it is
a skeleton wrapped in the skin

the image juxtaposed to the very casual commentary is so striking and uncomfortable - love it!

I wasn't quite sure how to interpret poem 3 but I kind of took it as a petition of the speaker to the self to delve into what they were doing and also find more self-kindness/graciousness. This phrase, "a perpetuity
of grief upon this soul." is really ooof in particular.

4, 5, 6 all have this sense of recounting life's stories almost like a memoir - and come across as very authentic to me.

the problem is that someone trusted me once.

This line is a really compelling opener, expressing all this self-doubt that sets up the poem really nicely.

and poem 11 is probably my favorite - the idea seems to be akin to two people that are put into each other's lives but the timing / situation isn't perfect so even though there's a sense of destiny and connection they don't collide or connect in whatever way the speaker desires. I think it's a very poetic idea that a lot of people can relate to without maybe even really knowing how to describe it - but the sense of wishing two parallel journeys could have crossed is a really poetic description.

A week left of NaPo to go! <3 Hope to read more moth-poetry; thanks for sharing all this, I've enjoyed following your thread this month.