I know why the grass grows green with its tantalizing emerald and its shimmering sheen and the way it turns navy beneath the night sky; the grass blushes green but we never ask why.
I like that your NaPo title is already being put into play here ^^ The sort-of inner rhyme of "green/sheen" is cool to balance out "sky/why" and I like the comparing colors! Nice first poem : ))
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24) poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
The repetition is really interesting! There’s a nice beat with the subtle rhyming of the last lines, and I like this idea of making the world your own. ^^ This is a cool idea!
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24) poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
I'm a really musical person, so I kind of imagined this to a beat in my head, so apologies if it sounds strange!
4.
oh beautiful sky oh round gray stones I wanna go where the bluebells grow
I've thought of it often and I've thought of it fierce but the flowers out there dry all my tears
used to think I was a city girl now I'm all grown up and the clear blue lake is my sippy cup I will drink it up I cannot get enough where the skyscrapers are the ground is all dried up
oh beautiful sky oh borrowed home I wanna go where the bluebells grow
Hey! Welcome back ^^ I hope you had fun on your trip. 3 & 4 are really nice here - I like the rhyming and the beat in especially the later one is cool! There's some neat imagery going on in both of these <333 Very nice return indeed!
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24) poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
hey sister, remember the moon remember the rain hey, remember the lilies remember the pain but we are the warriors of the fire and the grain and the world will be whole again.
hey brother, remember the sun remember the stars hey, remember the trees remember the marsh but we are the warriors of the light and the dark and the world will be our walking park, and the world will be whole again.
oh blue aching in my heart the pain I feel for paper is my curse, my earth to heft up on my back, slick with sweat and ocean and blue lips cracking, gasping to drink up the hue.
I guess I believe in the loch ness monster; that'd be kind of cool I guess and I guess I believe in magic and stuff I don't know why you've asked me but I guess I believe in everything in the sparks in the sky and the songs in the trees I guess I couldn't live if I didn't think the rocks could speak.
This is a cute, short little poem! I think what could work here would be to build on your connection to believing in myths and fantastical things, or even doing a follow-up poem to this with a bit more figurative message. Nicely done as ever!
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24) poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
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Points: 67
Reviews: 51