i, a timid creature, entirely underserving of ever being called brave, forgot, for a second, my uncertain worried nature and became something more, all because you asked.
i, the master pretender, the wide-eyed deer in the headlights that by some trick of light and shadows and of distance, was in your eyes a fiercer, stronger force with a boldness that disguised my fear and fallibility.
i, an unrepentant dreamer, who hoped for everything but never followed through, except this once, when we met, and you saw an adventurous, fearless girl and for you i made that true.
I can completely understand that feeling, and that situation. You've hit the nail on the head with how it feels to try to live up to someone's expectations, and how that can be overwhelming sometimes, and short lived.
there is a delightful anarchy in falling into bed at sunrise of emerging, bleary-eyed, into a world that is slowly coming back to life of ending at the beginning with blue-yellow skies that you never realised were so different to the rosy sunset clouds that despite an exhaustion that settles over you and makes time stretch, warp, elongate you pause and look upwards, admiring the watercolour morning the night brings a sense of potential that wears itself thin by sunrise when you stumble home, to bed and go against every instinct nature and your parents ever taught you morning, begin night, end maybe for you the inverse is true but as light spreads across the skyline and you long for your bed the strangeness of this inbetween time is both uncanny and intoxicating there's something delightful in that
Yes! I love that first line with "anarchy in falling into bed at sunrise" - we can always use a little anarchy, right? The way you describe and contrast between the morning sky and the sunset is quite interesting as well. The liminal space between days and time is just very intriguing. Looking forward to reading more of your work.
you should know i am a time traveler & there is no season as achingly temporary as now
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