Young Writers Society

They see me rollin... please use this thread to comment on my napo poems if you want to do so!

...and then what?! You can't leave us on a cliffhanger like that.

they see you slidin'...
'cause you're a penguin stgsahcbshdbeyaosbsusjh

nomnomnomnomnomnom. I want to eat them.

You can't want to eat them when they're not made yet!

^ Then how come I am hungry for dinner and it's only noon, huh?

#the selfless act by the way, I found super chilling. I read it as a battle of conflicts within oneself. On the one hand, there's the selfless part of you that is reconstructed, formed, crafted upon. And the other part that the narrator feels faded away, that is chilling in a kind of body-snatcher way. The feels are raw and real and the deliverance of the voice ambivalent - is it a part of itself lost, or a celebration of sacrifice, or both or none? I loved it.

I really liked this line:

she kept my face and not much else

C:

Also the use of brackets (especially in the very last line) of your second poem, I thought was really cool! I really like the "In case you didn't catch on..." thing that the brackets say. Like a lot.

I also just love seeing your use of leaving the poems as one thing (instead of breaking it up into stanzas) and using capitalisation and cool stuff like that to define where you want pauses and stuff. Maybe this sounds silly what I'm saying, but I just was happy to see it worked really nicely- because that was something I was thinking about earlier today, wanting to leave my poem just in one column without the reader having to read it so hurriedly.

I'm looking forward to reading more C:

Audster: Aaaah who knows the answers to your questions?? NOT ME. Thank you tho, <3<3

Holyrocks: How awesome are brackets?! I don't use them too often, but I love that they're asides while also not being to the side. You don't sound silly at all! You should totes just go for writing poetry like that if you want to. Don't be afraid or nervous or unsure about doing what is instinctual to you - it's more likely to be worth the time of writing it!

so excited about this/you

Your first poem was fab, just saying.

only time and silence.

hi, in case you are reading this and you are not old, this is what it means ^^^^

Woah, #6 is literally crushing, and I love #9 as well. I like it all, though those two especially stood out to me because dang are they short yet very powerful pieces.

[Edit: Totally forgot about this place. Thanks for moving my comment and sorry about that!]

Oh man! I did not move your comment (this time)! Some good Samaritan probs realised how I'd react to seeing it in my thread XD

Thank you so much for your comments, I'm super glad you're enjoying the poems!

Hi! <3

So, I love love looooove #6. Mostly because the whole scene is something that makes me yearn for summer, and also relate to it.

#9. I love how you've used the rains/monsoon imagery.

Pengu, I feel like pallindrome is so fresh on a topic that feels less so, but that there are even deeper depths to be plumbed with time!