maybe that's why you let go so easily of good thoughts, because you can't recall you look good today like you can hang on to nobody wants to be with you
all compliments are lies anyway.
(Not that good, but this is one of those spontaneous/emotional ones. The first line is from my microbiology professor, who was actually talking about how you need to study something for a while before you remember.)
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci
Okay, so here's my final push. I was thinking about this in the car today, and I still want to try to write those poems about my Yia-Yia (even though it's hard). So here goes.
19. growing up is a heavy leaf to turn
My sister plays the same CD over and over and over, as if shut up and dance with me could alter reality and we could go anywhere but the hospital.
I ask so how's school going like a stranger, like we were only children who happened to grow up in the same house.
Spoiler! :
ugh, that is a terrible ending but I'm not sure what else to add to this one. It's about me and my sister. Title is from Walk the Moon's "Portugal" and "Shut up and Dance with me" is from their song of the same name. My sister played that CD and I rode with her to the hospital/hospice most of the time. We...are kind of like Elsa and Ana at the beginning of Frozen. So yeah.
20. the last blessing
Father Theodore enters on the day after Christmas with his black briefcase of divinity (a priest-in-a-box, I called it).
His voice is soft until he opens the liturgy book and chants from the script, so much like what I heard on Sundays long ago.
He moves from English to Greek and back again, praying for healing as if it wasn't futile.
I cross for the Trinity (right-shoulder first like a good Orthodox) and for a second his voice makes me feel like we are not alone and there is still something to believe in.
She barely swallows the wine in the golden spoon. He asks if she has any questions. No honey, you're so good, she rasps.
He leaves to talk to the grown-ups, and I sit with her absorbing the scent of his incense.
Spoiler! :
This is about the priest coming to give Communion to my Yia-Yia in the hospice. I was confused as to if Orthodox Christians do "last rites" or not...from my understanding, they don't, but this "Blessing of the Sick" is basically that, praying for healing and forgiveness and all that. I'm agnostic, so all of that was...kind of weird for me.
More to come in the next post.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci
When I was little, my Yia-Yia would point at his black and white picture. Her father, the man she met on Ellis Island at 17, died on May 31.
Twenty-three years later, After weeks of waiting and days of labor, just before 1 AM, I was born to my Papou shouting OPA and champagne in plastic cups
and I made my Yia-Yia who she was.
Spoiler! :
Okay, so there's a lot of story behind this one. My Yia-Yia's father died on May 31, 1967 and I was born May 31, 1990. I always thought as a child that he literally died on the exact day I was born because she would say the first line of this poem so often. I was the first grandchild, so my Yia-Yia and Papou were over the moon that I existed. My Yia-Yia basically lived to be a Yia-Yia.
Okay, so I think it might be time to call this over. Writing about my Yia-Yia is good, but it's draining. There's probably a reason why I've been thinking about writing these for months (she died in early January) but haven't yet.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci
Okay, I lied. One more, nothing to do with my Yia-Yia.
22. driving with no rearview mirror
you'd think it would be a death sentence, not knowing what's behind you, always turning your head this way and that looking for the next surprise.
but there's something about a full view ahead, no distracting reflections making you wonder what the man behind you thinks of your too-cautious turns.
it's easier to move forward when you aren't concerned with behind.
Spoiler! :
Okay, so this one's pretty straightforward. My rearview mirror fell off while I was driving, which was pretty terrifying. Thankfully, I was able to get a kit and glue it back on the next day. I do NOT recommend driving without one, but it wasn't too bad (I did still have side mirrors). It was weirdly cool seeing an unobstructed windshield, though I'm glad it's back on.
And yes, I spend a weird amount of time wondering what the driver behind me thinks of my driving, especially at red lights.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci
Two more to get it to 25. One serious one based on a spam email and one apology haiku.
24. finding peace
he loved the wars so well that his heart was tattooed with guns and bombs and battle sites.
on the flight home, he wondered if he would be better off dead in the middle of the desert, then he could come home a hero.
at home, he keeps fighting by twisting words and screaming until his voice gives out and his wife is crying over the spaghetti and he says he's sorry
but really he cannot grasp peace and he's not sure he wants to.
25. an apology
My apologies, I would have written more but I have Netflix now.
Spoiler! :
No. Seriously. My friend gave me her Netflix password so I could watch Mad Men. That was...two or three weeks ago now? I'm on Season 5. Um. Yeah. That's bad. I seem to have the life-decision-making skills of Don Draper. And it is part of the reason why I didn't write so many poems.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci
And it is part of the reason why I didn't write so many poems.
Gender:
Points: 35774
Reviews: 1274