If this is how bad the flights are then i'll go by train or boat (Mispelling are part of it)
"Lynette" <lcmm60@gmail.com>
Subject: LUTHERAN AIR SERVICE
FOR ALL YOU LUTHERANS OUT THERE WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIR
SERVICE IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA.
ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA.
If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills
airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a
upliftin
experience.
Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.
Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a
main
dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of
da
aircraft.
Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by
free
will offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.
Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da
safety
system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.
Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a
sudden
loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so
vill
Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of
cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat
nature, and I wouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes.
You
re gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back
up
in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence
which
to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two
tousand
feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you
get
used to it.
In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da
Lord's
Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we
forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say "trespass
against us,
which isn't right but what can you do?
Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because
day may
confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da
way.
No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant
you to
use a cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of your head.
We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee
pot up
front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in
front
of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be real
upset
and I am not kiddin!
Right now I'll say Grace: "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze
gifts
to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or
pretty
close."
Amen
Gender:
Points: 1823
Reviews: 665