Young Writers Society

Granted, but then they eat everyone's face off because there's no bamboo left.

I wish I had a nice car that never ran out of gas.

Granted, but because the engine is jammed the gas won't reach the engine, which will render the car unable to drive

I wish I could read and soak up information super fast

Granted, but your brain can't handle all of the information, and causes severe damage that turns you into a vegetable.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of food.

Granted, but then you eat it all, become terribly fat, and die of a heart attack.


I wish I owned the largest library in the world.

Granted, but it's infested with Vashta Nerada (from Doctor Who) because the books were made from their forests, and you're eaten by them.

Sorry, couldn't resist

I wish summer vacation lasted longer.

Granted. Two words: heat stroke

I wish my room was air conditioned

Granted, but then the AC would become possessed and want to kill you. It got so cold that you ended up with frost bite on your outer extremities that would later be amputated.

I wish there was peace in the world.

Granted, but I mistake "peace" for "piece" and conjure a tiny piece of pizza. It's anchovies.

I wish my mouse didn't break and I didn't have to use this crappy trackpad

Granted, but your mouse is now a live mouse that you have to drag around to control your cursor. Have fun.

I wish it was winter so it could snow.

Granted, but the snow really builds up around your house so you can never leave it and freeze to death. Now you can make snowmen inside.

I wish that the world would just end. (LALS. Have fun with that one.)

Granted! But when the world ends people start getting desperate, they kidnap you and roast you over in open fire where you die a slow and agonizing death. And when you are dead they eat you.

I wish I had superpowers!

Granted, but they corrupt you. You turn to a life of crime, using your powers for evil. Eventually, a hero rises to stop you. After an epic battle, he remains the victor. It was a fun ride, but you dead, mate.

I wish I knew how to make music

Granted, but no one can hear any music you produce

I wish that I could know if there are aliens out there

Granted, but when you tell people about it, they think you're crazy and throw you into an asylum.

I wish I didn't have to wear rubber bands (like with braces).

granted, in exchange you loose all your teeth.

I wish owned google