Bad Things to Say Before You Kiss Her (or Him!)

Terrible things that you could say to completely ruin the mood just as your lips are about to meet....

Mmm...those onion rings rocked.

Lean in real close and say: (these are all from a guy, to a girl)
-Do you have a sister?
-Do you have a brother?
-Is your mom hot?
-dude, i am so [explitive deleted] waisted
-woah, you havea HUGE zit.
-are you horny?
-I thought you were a woman!!
-AH!! your not a man!!
-dude, you look EXACTLY like my mom.
-dude, you look exactly like my mom, its so sexy.
-dude, you look exactly like my father, hot.
-so, if i kiss you, will we [explitive deleted]?
-i didn't know you had a mustache
-i did sign up for sex tonight, right?
-how much do you cost?
-im horny, wanna [explitive deleted]
- i really like your tits
-so is that a banana in your dress, or are you just happy to see me?
-i would so do you, if it werent for those gray hairs in your mole
-would you be willing to shave? no, not your head.
-did you know your left eye is lower than your right one?
-those aren't real, are they?
-dude, if you wanted to [explitive deleted] me, you didn't have to spend all night at dinner with me.
-your mustache is so hot.
-WOW! this is like when luke and leah made out in empire strikes back! I am SO going to get some!
-You look like jabba.
-your really weird
-i think i'm about to vomit
-*really loud fart*
-*really long belch*
-*grunt*.... oh, nevermind.... (guys will get this better than girls [it is indeed a sexual reference])
-i should probably tell you, I'm actually an alien, and your now my slave.
-do you have herpes?
-i have herpes
-i have to take the biggest shit ever, can i use your bathroom and fire one out? I'll light a match, i swear.
-wow, i really hope your as good as frank down the street.
-do you like porn? i have a whole stash of some of the good stuff.
-would you like some making [missed expletive deleted ], berserker?

Hmmm... worst things you can do.

Lean in and:

-Belch
-Sneeze
-Cough
-Throw up
-Pick nose (or their's)
-Headbutt them on purpose
-Spit
-'On second thought...' ::leans back::
-(30 years of marriage) 'WHOA! Your eyes are green???'
-::whispering:: Almost over. Almost over. Almost over. Almost over..

And the rest Qi has covered lol

Haha... the last two are awesome... that would be me on the receiving end... LOL...

Some of these will be really, extremely sexually suggestive, just so you know. Nothing our fine, mature members can't handle, however.


-whisper* if you kiss me, i will come. if you kiss me, i will come.
-i can only kiss you if [pause] if you will fart on me.
-do you come in three sizes smaller?
-oooh, so THATS what that is.
-[points at breasts] can i have some milk?
-crap, i should get back to my wife and kids.
-crap, i should get back to my boyfriend.
-i'd love to stay around, but i have some lesbian chat rooms to chat in.
-boys have penises and girls have vaginas.
-haven't i done your sister?
-so, are you into midgets?
-i don't like condoms.
-this is my first time with a REAL woman!
-this is my frist time with a woman!
-this uh.... isn't my first time with a transvestite, you are, arent you?
-your more beautiful than my dead cat after she fell into a vat of tar and was pummeled with bowling balls and then shaved, and strewn with feces.
-aren't you a little old for a guy like me?
-this would be more fun if one of us was drunk.
-wow, they were right about that...
-you looked better through the peep hole.
-i like two girls at once, and you DO have a sister.
-yanno... i have a sister..
-oh, i thought you were smarter than that.
-i have to pee.
-yanno, i have a brother
-wanna take some nudes?
-wanna make a video?
-i want to throw you down and have my dirty way with your iguana.
-i have a buldge in my pants, if you kissed it enough, it might go away.

I just threw up.

areida07 wrote:Haha... the last two are awesome... that would be me on the receiving end... LOL...

hey now, don't put yourself down like that.. You do know how beautiful you are and how you would have to push the guy's face away so you could breathe..

aww, fliriting in the forum! flirting in the forum!!

::hides in corner::

damn, damn, damn...

LOL! You guys are hilarious. If you think that's flirting in the forum you ought to look in what I put in "the lump under your covers." Even though it's a joke what I put, there would probably be some major "FLIRTING IN THE FORUM" going on. Uh here's some that have happened to me before:

I've never been kissed before.
I love you(after only being out with them for an hour)

Some I just thought of:
I'm dating your sister
I was once a girl(when it's a guy)
I forgot to tell you that I'm gay
Talk about needing a breath mint

"Aaaaaaauuuuugh! The aliens! They're he-" *dies as alien pops out of stomach*

(Girl) "I have a penis." (My friend actually used this before hehe.)
"Big Brother likes Hot Babes."

"Hey hottie you up for casual sex?"
lol sometimes too much used around here lol

"Avada Kedavra!"
"Petrificus Totalus" (Aimed downward...)
"Alohomora" (Also aimed downward...)
"Wingardium Leviosa! Okay, now you won't crush me!"

Okay, enough with the Harry Potter references...

"Here, lemme take off this ring--it bugs me"