Young Writers Society

Changing who you are is a harder thing than some realize. It is not the act of simply changing your ways, but instead of knowing yourself enough to be able to see your faults and fix them. In a manner that is not destructive in any way. There is not only one way to change. One does not just change into another being altogether, but instead, only change aspects of themselves. Spiritual or physical or mental faults that they have they can rearrange, or learn from others around them how to deal with the certain problems they have. There are thousands of ways to go about changing yourself.

Spiritually, through God; Mentally, through inner war where good wins out in the end; Emotionally, when venting to others and having a shoulder to lean on is a necessity; Socially, through therapists or teachers or people around you who care for you. You only have to accept them and allow them into your heart to be able to change it. Or simply heal it. Though the actual means of changing are free, it is you who refuses to accept them, or you who feels too broken or fragile to let someone or something that close to you.

Sometimes, you even feel like you are too fragile to let yourself in to your own heart. You bury yourself so deep inside of yourself that it becomes a maze to try and find yourself again. Sometimes one can just become lost in a wave of fragility, and if that wave just crashed to the sand, then all of your feelings would flow out and that could become a very good or very bad thing.

For some, if the wave crashes, it means that they have finally found themselves, and are free to roam the beach. For others, if it crashes it means that glass has finally exploded and you get riddled with the shards. And anyone standing near you would get riddled with them too. That's why some choose to push others away from themselves, so that when the wave crashes, it will only pierce their flesh and none other. It is an act of selfishness, not letting people who care about you get hurt. Yet at the same time, pulling away leads to anger and loneliness. On the outside, it is as if you want to be independent or stoic, and that you don't care about anyone but yourself. Or that maybe you are too quiet because you are afraid that if you speak to friends and such then they will stop caring about you. Or if you speak to family members, they will get hurt so you hide yourself inside just waiting for the wave to crash and engulf you.

To keep this wave from crashing, to cause it to flow back into the ocean and make it calm, you HAVE to work on yourself. And to do that, you HAVE to choose to change yourself. You cannot expect to just go to sleep and wake up a new person. You must take action to become who you want to become. And at first, this may feel like a daunting task, but in the end it is worth it. Trust yourself and trust those around you. If someone hands you a book on how to change, instead of taking it and refusing to read it, take it and thank them and read at least the beginning. If someone tells you to go get therapy with spiritual sisters, go. Do it. Be active to change yourself, and maybe someday it will happen. Maybe someday you will wake up a new person. Maybe someday you will wake up and burst into tears thanking God for how he helped you to become the you that you always knew you could be. Maybe. Just maybe. Someday.