Young Writers Society

In an effort to please the parents protesting its employee’s decision to fail their children, the Piper, Kansas School Board contested her decision. The school board’s choice to side with the parents was due to their rural setting, the declining integrity of youth, and their eagerness to make a compromise.
A rural environment usually has three societal characteristics that bias the decision of members of authority: everyone knows everyone else, most people are somehow related, and personal relationships influence political decisions. Piper, Kansas is in fact rural, and when deciding whether or not to support a teacher who had made a just decision these societal characteristics became an important factor. It is very possible that some students who failed were related to the Piper School Board members creating a bias. Even if they were not related, a personal relationship between the board members and the students’ parents probably exists. Because of the rural settings, what should have happened: the Piper School Board backing up their teacher was not the outcome.
The unbelievable amount of plagiarizing going on in Piper Kansas is something else that needs looking at. Not just looked at by the media but by the school board who, instead of helping them pass the class and challenge the teacher, should be preventing cheating. The declining integrity of the youth makes it difficult not to blame them and the adults in their life for letting it slide. How are they supposed to reap the consequences for their actions if the school board doesn’t support any consequence? The school board can not reinforce consequences if they do not have support from the parents, which in this case they did not.
The biggest reason the school board didn’t approve of the consequences was because of the parents. From observation school boards tend to back down when parents (their source of income) ruffle a few feathers. Because the teacher’s decision were unfavorable by the parents it made the board look bad for backing her up. By making the teacher lighten up on the students the parents are happy and the board is no longer frowned upon. This puts the parents before the student’s learning and shows that the parents can control the board with a bit of persistency. The board’s inability to sweep this under the rug led them to enforce what the parents wanted.
The fact that the Piper Kansas School Board did not respect and support their employees is disheartening. The students who should have failed the assignment for plagiarizing were just taught that if their parents argue with the board they do not get in as much trouble. The school board’s rural environment contributed to the huge fuss of the teacher and brushed off the declining integrity of the youth.

These are just some comments and edits I found,

In an effort to please the parents protesting its employee’s decision to fail their children , Shouldn't be a "," there, it makes thing s little more confusing. just take that "," out.the Piper, Kansas School Board contested her Her? who is she? make this more clear,decision. The school board’s choice to side with the parents was due to their rural setting, the declining integrity of youth, and their eagerness to make a compromise.

A rural environment usually has three societal characteristics that bias the decision of members of authority this is really nice discription, and I love your use of vocabualry: everyone knows everyone else, most people are somehow related, and personal relationships influence political decisions.so from what you discribe here, Piper is a small town. Piper, Kansas is in fact rural, and when deciding whether or not to support a teacher who had made a just decision these societal characteristics became an important factor. It is very possible that some students who failed were related to the Piper School Board members creating a bias. Even if they were not related, a personal relationship between the board members and the students’ parents probably exists. Because of the rural settings, what should have happened: the Piper School Board backing up their teacher was not the outcome. Wow. This all came out really fast for one paragraph. You need to break it up, explain a bit more clearly. Maybe I'm just really tired becuase it 11:30 where I am, but I had to read that paragraph multipule time so I could understand it

The unbelievable amount of plagiarizing going on in Piper, make sure if you add an apostrophy for "Piper, Kansas" that you keep it up, otherwise it gets confusing. Kansas is something else that needs looking at. Not just looked at by the media but by the school board who, instead of helping them pass the class and challenging the teachers',No apostrophy here (they are apostrophies right? should be preventing cheating. The declining integrity of the youth makes it difficult not to blame them and the adults in their life for letting it slide. How are they supposed to reap the consequences for their actions if the school board doesn’t support any consequence? Nice, this makes the reader think, really think and adds amazing emphasis!The school board can not reinforce consequences if they do not have support from the parents, which in this case they did not. Like

The biggest reason the school board didn’t approve of the consequences was because of the parents. From observation school boards tend to back down when parents (their source of income) ruffle a few feathers.that last sentance was a bit awkward... Because the teacher’s decision were unfavorable by the parents it made the board look bad for backing her who is this her? is it a parent? teacher? student? Piper? up. By making the teacher lighten up on the students the parents are happy and the board is no longer frowned upon. This puts the parents before the student’s learning, and shows that the parents can control the board with a bit of persistency. The board’s inability to sweep this under the rug led them to enforce what the parents wanted. NICE! NICE! NICE!

The fact that the Piper Kansas School Board did not respect and support their employees is disheartening. The students who should have failed the assignment for plagiarizing were just taught that if their parents argue with the board they do not get in as much trouble. The school board’s rural environment contributs to the huge fuss of the teacher and brushed off the declining integrity of the youth.

I really like what this is saying, but you put a lot of information in such a small amount of space, my head it literally spinning right now from that. I love the message it puts out there, and I can tell you are very enthusastic about this topic.

also I would like to see everything in present tense, it make the reader beilive, what is happening is going on right now which usally helps the reader connect better with the event.

and I was not a fan with how you ended the whole thing,

The school board’s rural environment contributed to the huge fuss of the teacher and brushed off the declining integrity of the youth.

I think you could make a much more gripping ending to really get your point across.
I do really like this, but I would love to see the changes I suggested if you agree with my thoughts and please take them with a grain assult, I am only try to help

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