Young Writers Society

This is my first post, so forgive me if I killed all the rules while doing it but here goes nothin'.

Indifference.

The art of predicting everything. What surprises you? Things you least expect or don't expect at all. Think about it. It's similar to humour. Things you least expect with the least amount of consequences along with a few twists that makes your brain tick maybe. The more you can make a man's brain tick, the more the humour works. It is reward, humour is a reward for using your mind to figure out something uncanny. Although, you do have to maintain a balance in between a shock and a joke.


At the end of a 15 month long relationship, I am released. Released from a girl who suddenly thinks she has seen everything and she knows everything. Even in her parting speech she couldn't resist adding "Date a few other girls and see how good I am". Ironic enough, She forgot to mention the simple fact that I've been dating her and I complained she wasn't being how she used to be.

Should I be depressed? Not at all, I have been pushing this relationship far into a corner with the force called "I love her". I realized the whole time that I was pushing it, but I hoped for change. It was not a shock because I expected it. And the unexpected brings forth shock, which in turn brings forth the depression.

Should I be unhappy? I was unhappy all along. All the pushing and shoving made me unhappy. Now that the pushing and shoving is missing, I can smell the air and be myself.


What is there?

Indifference.

This is actually a sequel to something far more egotistical and personal. But I dunno how much stick the reviewers will take xP

Hey there Mate, first let me just say welcome to the YWS!

Now about this post. Not really sure what to say about this. It is....interesting.

Let's start with the first paragraph. Talk about twists and turns. I had to read through it twice to get it but when I did I thought it was good take on humour and indifference. And now the second paragraph.

"Date a few other girls and see how good I am". Ironic enough, She forgot to mention the simple fact that I've been dating her and I complained she wasn't being how she used to be.

I don't understand how that is ironic, but that could just be me.

From there on I have no other complaints, you kept my attention and I thought you tied it up nicely.

Thanks for the read and if you need any thing just PM me.

Later, ~DG

A sequel? Why not post the original? Anyway, I could tell from the words alone this is personal. Seems very blunt and feels a little bit, maybe, TOO personal? I understand you want to express yourself. But next time, use a lot of symbolism and description to convey an image. At this moment in time, you are telling us you have broken up after a 15 month relationship. SHOW us. Through his actions, inner thoughts, opinions. Who is this girl? Should we care? Give this piece a purpose and it'd be good as gold. Just a thought. I would like to see the original. If it is a bit more private, you can PM if you want. Oh, and welcome to YWS.