Young Writers Society

Living in a society where you disagree with most of its traditions, superstitions, culture, behaviors, and mentality, is a tough and exhausting reality.

Being different in a community does not necessarily mean, one does not belong to it. I was born and raised in this place, somewhere around the world,which I do not find really salient to mention where; what matters to me here is the mystery of being perceived as mesterious in a strange community, what interests me is how can a person be dissatisfied, rebellious and repulsive to all sorts of tastes: Music, coffee shops, stores, markets, post offices..etc.

Wherever you are, you feel out of place, I feel alienated in my own country with my own fellow countrymen.
Today, for instance, I said I am going to break the habit and look different, do something that is not usual, an act of insanity, which I always tend to. I woke up this morning, like every morning in my day- off thinking of how can I spend the first few hours before lunch time.
Then it popped into my mind this idea of behaving crazily, in the eyes of our community, of course. To make a long story short, I simply sat in a coffee shop where people often play cards, gossip and judge other people passing by; I said to my self: now is your time, now is the glorious and most courageous act you are going to perform throughout your lifetime in this small city; I took my best friend out of my bag , put it in front of my eyes and start reading without paying attention to anybody. Yes I begun reading and reading as if I were not there with them, I had a very nice feeling of joy, a feeling similar to the exaltation felt after a victory over an enemy in the battlefield.

lastly, I felt at home, the home I dream ,one day, to dwell in forever, where I can read in public!!!
where everybody else reads, where I will not be thought of as a maniac or a lunatic creature.
I am quite sure they find it odd in this place and you find it odd when you read this article, but I did it at last: I read some pages of a book in a coffeshop!

This is really good. I like it. :)

This is very good, and strangely very cute as well, but I do have some issues with the format:

Living in a society where you disagree with most of its traditions, superstitions, culture, behaviors, and mentality, is a tough and exhausting reality. This is your thesis. It should be attached to your intro paragraph, which you have below

Being different in a community does not necessarily mean, one does not belong to it. I was born and raised in this place, somewhere around the world,which I do not find really salient to mention where; what matters to me here is the mystery of being perceived as mesterious Mysterious*in a strange community, what interests me is how can a person be dissatisfied, rebellious and repulsive to all sorts of tastes: Music, coffee shops, stores, markets, post offices..etc. This paragraph only has one sentence in it, and then a run on sentence. I suggest you make this into four sentences by breaking the run on into two and adding a closing sentence to wrap it all up.

Wherever you are, you feel out of place, I feel alienated in my own country with my own fellow countrymen. This is another mini-thesis that needs to be combined with the below paragraph

Today, for instance, I said I am going to break the habit and look different, do something that is not usual, an act of insanity, which I always tend to. I woke up this morning, like every morning in my day- off thinking of how can I spend the first few hours before lunch time. This is not the end of this paragraph, the paragraph below is still part of this topic, and therefore still part of this paragraph.

Then it popped into my mind this idea of behaving crazily, in the eyes of our community, of course. To make a long story short, I simply sat in a coffee shop where people often play cards, gossip and judge other people passing by; I said to my self: now is your time, now is the glorious and most courageous act you are going to perform throughout your lifetime in this small city; I took my best friend out of my bag , put it in front of my eyes and start reading without paying attention to anybody. Yes I begun reading and reading as if I were not there with them, I had a very nice feeling of joy, a feeling similar to the exaltation felt after a victory over an enemy in the battlefield. HUGEEEE run on sentence. A sentence should be no more than 6-15 words MAX. break this into at LEAST 4 sentences if not 6+.

lastly, I felt at home, the home I dream ,one day, to dwell in forever, where I can read in public!!!

where everybody else reads, where I will not be thought of as a maniac or a lunatic creature. Make these three lines that you have separated into one paragraph, and add one more clinching sentence that restates your thesis.

I am quite sure they find it odd in this place and you find it odd when you read this article, but I did it at last: I read some pages of a book in a coffeshop! coffee shop

I loved this! It's quirky and different! Really nice!

As wewinwelose has already picked out, there are a few minor mistakes, but they can be fixed easily. you use a lot of big words, and I love that

Instead of putting puns and smile-o-meters, I'll be serious this time (not exactly )

I understand the feeling when you feel like you don't belong, you're an alien. It feels as if you'd need to please everyone for the sake of attention and for them to not criticize you. A psychological trauma, it seems. When you are alone. (Maybe I should write my own essay on this idea...hmmm)

About you're writing, well, the words are finely chosen and the flow is both narrative and expository, meaning it's great. I'm not sure about you're paragraph's, though, they seem to be a bit messed up.

I thank you for putting such an enlightening piece,
Al (still being serious )