Young Writers Society

The heart has travelled a lot....gone through all ups and downs and carried many people in its journey. It does sound like a vehicle but this little piece of flesh needs a break to breathe in for itself But just when the break seemed to start, he barged inside for his journey to entail progress. He was gentle with the doors when he entered, Decent with the seats when he relaxed,Maybe He was the best passenger But I wasn't the best medium anymore.




It is exhausted, exhausted its fuel through the little journey to suffice for the Best but over Nothing.The engines have rusted without fuel,You may be the best darling.. but you only make the engines work ..not lubricate . I know your pains too and I know with them You were the best with me,But life aint Kind,Not to me and not to you, To sympathize with our pains.




I want you in my heart and I know, I deserve you Happy in there. But Today I wouldn't bring you a smile but buy you a knife to scratch away your pains. Stay away. Go away is all I suggest, The time was limited for a even a caution board to stick because.....


Lucracy might sound like fantasy but here it might just reverse you Ecstasy.

Cool!

Don't change the content. Keep the content. It's awesome. And meaningful. *bows in respect*

Clarity is the only thing here...clarity and a couple of commas and weird capitalisations...but content is awesome.

Red is additions to make, blue is things to take out, green is comments.

The heart has travelled a lot...gone through all ups and downs, and carried many people in its journey. It does sound like a vehicle, but this little piece of flesh needs a break to breathe in for itself. But just when the break seemed to start, Why did you change tense here?he barged inside for his journey to entail What? progress. He was gentle with the doors when he entered, decent with the seats when he relaxed. Maybe he was the best passenger. But I wasn't the best medium anymore. Awesome.

It is exhausted, has? exhausted its fuel through the little journey to suffice for the Best but over Nothing. What? The engines have rusted without fuel. You may be the best, darling... but you only make the engines work ...not lubricate. I know your pains too and I know with them you were the best with me. Woah woah woah, waay too confusing. But life ain't Kind, not to me and not to you, to sympathize with our pains.

I want you in my heart and I know, I deserve you Happy in there. But Today I wouldn't bring you a smile, but buy you a knife, to scratch away your pains. Stay away. Go away is all I suggest. The time was limited for a even a caution board to stick, because.....


Lucracy what's lucracy? might sound like fantasy, but here, it might just reverse your? Ecstasy.

Why is it called Tantalize?

Welcome, welcome, welcome to YWS!

Mrs.E.D.

Nice story, very well written. There are just a few things I would like to point out however.

You have random capitalization throughout the article.

You were the best with me,But life aint Kind,Not to me and not to you.

You should use capitalization only when necessary, and you don't make a word capitol after a comma. If you wanted to end the sentence and begin a new one you would add a period. But if you didn't this is how the capitalization should look.
"You were the best with me, but life isn't kind, not to me and not to you"

Also, your grammar is kind of iffy, I'm not the best with grammar so I'm not going to correct you on any of this in fear that I might be wrong.But you might want to look over that. When I'm done writing a paper I usually use paper-rater or have a beta check my work just incase I made any errors.

But in all your writing is good, just a few technical errors.