Young Writers Society

This is a sports column I wrote my Senior year of high school for the school paper, of which I was the editor. It won first place in the state that year. I recently came across it again, so I thought I'd share it here. It's a look back at a football game I played during the 8th grade. I Hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.



I’ll go ahead and say it. This story is not for the stars, the studs, or the golden boys. It’s for the scrubs, the backups, the bench-warmers; the guys who practice, but never play. It’s for the guys who work just as hard, but just aren’t as good.
It was eighth grade and the last year I would ever play football competitively. I was small, roughly 110 pounds, but on a Junior High team I managed to play running back and outside linebacker...on the second string.
I went to a small private school, but my eighth grade year we had some gifted players on that team. We went undefeated in the regular season. Playing backup on a talented team isn’t always a bad thing. Huge leads early on meant the backups could get decent playing time in the latter portions of games with very little pressure, other than wanting to look good for the coaches.
But on the morning of our last home game, things got interesting.
Jon, the starter at both spots which I played, didn’t show up in first period. If Jon was sick, I would get to start, both offense and defense.
He wasn’t sick though, and he did show up at school later in the day, but after learning the reason for his tardy, hope remained that I might still start. And if not, I was still sure to get extensive playing time.
The previous night, Jon had been playing guitar and was holding a guitar pick in his mouth. Evidently his brother made him laugh, which caused him to swallow the pick. After a trip to the doctor and the ensuing dose of codeine, Jon was still in decent enough condition to play, but he wasn’t fit to go a whole game, and certainly not at both positions.
It was my chance. I knew it was too late in the season to earn a permanent starting spot, but at least I would get the chance to knock some pads around in front of the home fans, and get to play before the score was lopsided in our favor.
Coach told me that I would start at outside linebacker and get early playing time on offense.
Jon played running back magnificently and likely could have gone the whole game, but by the end of the first half, coach told me Jon was coming out for good. After halftime, I would be playing running back. That, combined with special teams duty, and outside linebacker, meant that I would be on the field virtually every play of the game.
Eventually, during the second half, the rest of the starters were taken out too. That left me playing with the other backups. Boy, did we have a good time. It was actually the third string quarterback who was in after halftime and he only knew four plays, all of them handoffs, right to me.
By the end of the game, I had racked up ninety-four yards rushing, two touchdowns, and six tackles.
Sure, it took a guy swallowing a guitar pick, but I didn’t care about the circumstances, bizarre as they were. All I knew was that I had a chance and I wasn’t going to waste it.
So to all the second-teamers, all the guys who sit on the sidelines - keep practicing, keep fighting hard, because any one of these days an opportunity could arise. A guy could sprain an ankle or get suspended, or if you’re lucky, swallow a foreign object.

I really admire your sense of courage,and even so, you made a short story sound humoungous, and that is a great talent. I think the title says it all. First Chance, Second String is what caught my eye. It's catchy, it has a certain ring to it. I'm not sure if you even want a review because you already had it published and you won a competition. Great job, and well - I wish high school nowadays was like it back then.

The high schools in my district mostly suck. There are no cliques, no high competitors. We JUST got a Football team and Cheerleading squad this year. And they suck. And our school is like 80% asian. I'm not racist I just wish there was more diversity. People don't really get into relationships. I guess we've learned. Most kids go to parties to get wasted and get high. No one drives to school anymore except the grade 12s. Like 2 of them. And our drama department sucks now because everyone graduated. We no longer have a strong line of strong actors and tall people. I'm average - 5'4. Same with mostly everyone else. No one really sticks out...

anyway you just sparked my mind on the whole high school thing.

Wow, man, this is indeed a great short story and I can see why you won a competition for it. I'm normally not big on sports stories (especially football) but I still really liked this. As with the doctor, the title caught my eye the most as well. After reading the story, the name made me chuckle a little bit, mostly because I thought I had gotten it, when really I hadn't. I was thinking second string as in the guitar, but then I realized it was football. I Also don't think you really need or want a review for this, as you've already done all you wanted to do with this. But I still felt like telling you what it meant to me.

As with the doctor, I'm in a small high school, though not really small-small. I'm from Oklahoma (you're from Texas, haha, just saw that) and my school is rather behind in a lot of things. Football, not really. I'm in the band, and we're behind in that. We don't even have a jazz band, man. Anyways, I play saxophone and I'm a freshman and I'm also first chair in the high school band. We got this little saxophone player that looks up to me and I always enjoy helping him out. He plays football, but from what I've heard him say, he's probably not the best. I feel bad for him, especially since he's decided to give up football for band. This story reminded me of him a little bit.

Hey there! Really great title -- it caught my attention!

I was small, roughly 110 pounds, but on a Junior High team I managed to play running back and outside linebacker, on the second string.

Now, I bolded the comma here 'cause I feel like an elipses would work ... y'know, for effect.

I was small, roughly 110 pounds, but on a Junior High team I managed to play running back and outside lineback ... on the second string.

As it really isn't an error, it's your choice whether or not you want to put that in. Simply just a suggestion!

Now, this was a great article! To the point, and it kept me (the reader) captivated! Not to mention did you have a great starting line and ending line! I really like your advice for all second-stringers -- I was once a bench-warmer on our basketball team in seventh grade, and I felt super horrible about my playing -- so I just didn't try to practice very much ... Look where that got me! Whenever I played I ended up playing horribly! If only I'd actually stopped being so insecure and practiced, maybe it would be a different story!

Great article!

Thanks for you comments, everyone. I'm glad it is even inspiring to some of you
I'm more than happy for any suggestions on it. I might try to submit it to a major magazine at some point, so any ways to improve it are much appreciated.

Hullo there!

My first thoughts of this piece is that this is definitely one of those influential tales that are invaluable to stumble across. I don't play American football myself, but if I did, this would probably be enlightening.

Let me start with a few nitpicks:

It’s for the guys who work just as hard, but just aren’t as good.

Second use of the word "Just" makes the sentence seem a little too wordy. Also, just a suggestion, perhaps look up a different word for good, it seems a little like it's lacking impact - either that or use a saying like "aren't up to the bacon" or whatever sayings you have over in America. If you're going to use 2nd person and talk to us have a bash at genuinely appearing quite chatty with your word choice.

linebacker, on the second string.

Comma isn't needed.

but in my eighth grade year we had some gifted players

Missed a word.

combined with special teams duty, and outside linebacker

Again, comma isn't needed. It's making the sentences feel too choppy and less fluent.

Overall
During this tale, there are a few points where I was worried you'd go off on a tangent as you spend so little time on the game you played and so much time describing Jon and his accident. However, once I'd read your ending I realised why. The ending is mildly humurous as well as intentively thoughtful and this piece most definitely carried impact. One thing I would mention is that perhaps cutting out or cutting down on this part of the article will help dismiss the worry of "missing the point":

He wasn’t sick though, and he did show up at school later in the day, but after learning the reason for his tardy, hope remained that I might still start. And if not, I was still sure to get extensive playing time.

If this paragraph went or was replaced with something that momentarily told us he showed up but you had hope, then the tale would seem much cleaner and more inspirational rather than as personal as it does at the moment.

Anyway, this is a very good piece of writing. Keep it up and I hope this helps,
Ben

Thanks for the review! And I'm glad you enjoyed it.
That is a very interesting point you bring up about that paragraph. I could easily replace it with something a bit more streamlined. I'll think about possibilities
It is a bit choppy at times, but I was trying to stay within the world limit for columns in my paper, which was about 500. I have more flexibility now, so there is room for change in multiple places. It does take an outside perspective to see where those changes need to be though, since I wrote it so long ago and the story is a bit "cemented" in its current form in my mind. Thanks again!
Cheers!
-DR

This reminded me of my first, and last, year of volleyball, bench warmer for sure. To bad no one ever swallowed a guitar pick.. just kidding! That'd be terrible!
Anyways! This was adorable and humorous. It's really encouraging as well; I find myself wanting to practice the sport I'm in now even more. I see why your article won first place. Great job!