Wow! It is so amazing how fast four years can pass by, and I would have to say that it has been the best four years of my life. Sure the years have had some ups and downs but I have learned a lot from it. What struck me the most about high school life is how easy and common it is for people to conform to their surroundings. Of course your reaction to that statement would be “duh” it’s pretty obvious, sure it is, but do we really take the time to see how frequent a person is willing to give upon what they stand for, just to be in the ‘in’ crowd. Don’t get me wrong, I to was guilty of it, to afraid of being judged or stepped on because I had an opinion that was different from every body else’s. I was too preoccupied with how others saw me and if they accepted me as part of their Klan. Eventually I got distracted I forgot about the more important things like my education, my future and my well being. When my sophomore came around a came to realize that no matter how hard I tried to change, people would always find some thing wrong with me, that I would never be good enough or perfect enough for them. When I finally realized that, I turned a more important judge of character. I turned to the person whose opinion of me mattered more than the rest… I turned to myself by believing that was something special despite what others thought about me. I realized I did not have to pretend, that I shouldn’t take risks and discard my beliefs just to fit in. ok, you have read up to this point then you wonder, “isn’t high a big fashion display and personality show? Sure it is, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t showcase your own style of open the eyes of others and leaver them saying, “Wow! She/he is different!” For instance look at the Glee character Rachel Berry, even though everyone may agree that she is the most talented person in school, she is still looked down for her different sense of style and attitude; but being the strong person that she is, she plays all the persecution and the slushies thrown at her face to her strengths. You could say it has to do with her ‘don’t stop believing’ mentality. Instead of giving up, no matter how annoying her approach may, she sets her mind on setting her own trend, her own individual, a super star. OK now you are saying “I get it but what is the point of this speech?” well all I am saying that high school is one big adventure, you will experience and find yourself doing things that you could not imagine being involved whether good or bad. You find yourself having to decide which path you want to go, who you want to surround yourself, and who you want to become. There will be times that you have to let friends go in order to go forward, or go with the flow everybody just to avoid conflict. Even though high school will consist of making tough decisions, the good things will come as well. All you need to do is to focus on the more important things like your school work, your future and your well being. You could say it’s the Berry way. If you put those three main things as your top priority, you will never lose, and the more you focus on them, the more traits like hard work and going the extra mile becomes more of a characteristic than a practice. Sooner or later people will start admiring you, wanting to know more about you, and eventually, you will become the trend setter. Just think about it, how would the world be if everybody looked, smelled, acted, and lived the same way? Remember you are some one special and beautiful in your own little way and you do not have to be football player, or cheerleader to let others see it in you. Instead of looking for crown to please, let them come to you. After all as I wise man once said (my father), “don’t try to impress, just be impressive!” if you just listen to this advise, your high school life will be nothing but a breeze. GO MUSTANGS!
Hey, Bunty! Senior year, huh? Craziness! I thought this piece was very pleasant. Makes me teary-eyed from when I graduated. :'3
If this is going to be printed though, a grammar/spellcheck and reformatting might be useful. It was a little difficult to read, and I'd be happy to come back and do a grammarcheck for you if you want. You don't want the difficulty of reading it to distract from the message you're sharing. (I think the term "Klan" refers to the KKK, not just a general clan or group of people.) Hopefully, my review isn't too late. D:
I think you should have ended this with your dad's quote. The extra sentence or two distracts from that really cool quote which ended with the shivers-down-my-spine way. The quote creates the impact you're looking for. I'd just end it right there.
It felt like it was getting a little preachy at times? It's great that you used personal examples. Definitely approve of this! Tell the stories you can relate with the most, right? ;D But maybe if you treated it like story-time and tell the story, ending on the message of the whole story, it might create a better impact. I guess? That might not make sense. xD Treat them like flashbacks rather than making it sound like an insignificant sidenote. You're a student just like them, so try to make it more personal, one-on-one.
I really do believe breaking this piece into paragraphs will help you a lot in figuring out how to make it dramatic and impactive. That's probably the biggest issue, I find. Give that a shot and see if it will read better. Great job, though! With these kinds of things, you really can't go wrong with what you write. It's all just too emotional to edit, you know? xD It's just about the impact you leave on people and how you deliver the message.
Gender:
Points: 1023
Reviews: 14