Young Writers Society

Alright, so this is due tomorrow (thank goodness for snowdays) so I am posting it here and refreshing it when I have new parts...

Billy Joel’s stardom can be attributed to his ability to create anecdotal ballads that reflect the resilience of the human spirit. Through his songs, Joel exuviates his superstar image and invites listeners on a walk down memory lane, a journey that reinforces his humble beginnings as “the piano man.” In his eleventh album, Storm Front, Joel entwines social commentary and soulful musical arrangements to produce addictive hits that pay homage to his inception as an artist.
While many of Joel’s songs evoke feelings of hope or reminisce about previous times, The Downeaster “Alexa”, provides insight into the plight of the ordinary man and the struggles of the working class. The song is written in the perspective of an indigent fisherman, caught at the bottom of the hierarchy of society. As he is assailed with the comminatory challenges that accompany his position in a moribund trade, the fisherman laments his effete future and the sacrifices he made to conserve his lifestyle. His lugubrious journey is fueled off of waning false hope that he can still be successful despite his growing socioeconomic disadvantage. Throughout the song, Joel creates a sense of paralyzing despair that dominates the tone of the piece and reflects the true suffering of the protagonist. This disconsolate undertone not only aids in the listener’s comprehension of the fisherman’s woeful tale, but also is testament to his perseverance and the pliancy of his attitude.
The first verse sets up the backdrop for the fisherman and begins to depict an average day in his life. The narrator immediately introduces the song’s namesake, or the fishing boat, the Downeaster “Alexa” (“Well I'm on the Downeaster ‘Alexa’, and I'm cruising through Block Island Sound”). The Downeaster is presented as a point of pride for the fisherman, who has worked all his life to have the privilege of owning the boat. His comfort on the sea is displayed throughout the poem, and can be inferred by both his profession and the main setting of the song. The narrator speaks of the change of course he has made in his destination, alluding to the vagarious path his life has taken: “I have charted a course to the Vineyard, but tonight I am Nantucket bound.” In saying this, the listener is introduced to the fisherman’s overall helplessness in maintaining any sense of constancy in a world of indefatigable change.
The second verse focuses primarily on the quotidian struggles the fisherman encounters. Due to economic conditions, he has been unable to afford the upkeep of a mainland house (“Like all the locals here I've had to sell my home”), and has been banished to sea. This isolation extirpates the possibility of a stable lifestyle, and constrains him to abide by the tempestuous ways of the water. The fisherman is “too proud to leave” the carcass of his past, and is instead immortalized as paradigm of pride’s double-edged sword. The barren prospects of his future are an inequitable accolade for the years he “worked his fingers to the bone,” and haunt the fisherman as a reminder of his failed endeavors. Despite the despairing undertones of this portion of the song, the narrator does not indulge himself in the numbing comforts of self-pity, but rather braves the impediments that accost him, reminding the listener of the fortitude of the human spirit.
Although the song revolves around the theme of life’s hardships, the choruses bring in a fresh viewpoint and romanticize the journey of a fisherman. In the first chorus, the narrator reminisces about the genesis of his career, and the unadulterated hope that accompanied it: “So I could own my Downeaster ‘Alexa’, and go where the ocean is deep.” The lure of adventure attracted the fisherman to sea, promising “giants out there in the canyons,” and the opportunity to have a life of excitement. In adroit prose, Joel refurbishes the antiquated debate of appearance versus reality, contrasting the credulous idealism of a would-be fisherman against the scabrous actuality of the working world. The narrator switches perspectives in the second chorus, and redirects focus to his current situation rather than the antecedent. In this stanza, the fisherman bids a valediction to the Downeaster “Alexa”, a symbolic representation of his sophistic dreams. He also provides reassurance to his wife back on the mainland, and claims he is “trawling Atlantis,” a reference to the concept of pursuing a futile goal. The fisherman injudiciously believes that he still adjures his own future (“I still have my hands on the wheel”), an allegation that does little more than replenish his supply of false hope. In the third chorus, the narrator continues to describe the calamities of his profession, and insinuates the boundaries of his potential. Joel’s total comprehension of the characters emotional state illuminates the tone of his voice, once again reminding the listener of the great talent he possesses. Due to both economic and environmental obstacles, the fisherman is unable to obtain the necessary amount of fish needed for him to make a living. “More and more miles from shore each year” refers to the growing coastline erosion plaguing the shores, and also to the fisherman’s deteriorating luck. Government regulations also impinge his profit, as he is unable to “sell no stripers” due to the prohibition its sales. These three stanzas not only portray the exuberant number of challenges the fisherman faces, but also display his complex emotional depth, allowing the listener to regard him as a long-time friend, rather than merely a persona.
The song’s bridge begins with a chord change, introducing a new, dissonant layer to the piece. Previously, the fisherman focused primarily on himself, rather than others whom his actions impact, exemplifying his life of seclusion. His responsibility as a father permeates his decisions, and creates ancillary pressure for him to succeed (“I've got bills to pay and children who need clothes”). The fisherman is cognizant of the mitigating options he has for his future, but is bound by his obligations as the “bread-winner” of his family (“I've got people back on land who count on me”), and must find a way to make ends meet. He claims that “there's fish out there but where God only knows,” symbolizing his quest for a chimerical panacea to his problems.
In the coda, Joel recapitulates the past, present, and future of the fisherman, placing his inauspicious tale in perspective as a constituent of a greater story. In doing so, Joel illustrates the issue at large of a dying culture, and portrays the fisherman merely as a victim of a change-obsessed world. The narrator discusses the history of his trade “I was a bayman like my father was before,” and its ineludible fate, saying “there ain't much future for a man who works the sea.” These statements can be construed both as a synopsis of the fisherman’s life, and also as a testimony to the fleeting sense of constancy in a “sea” of eternal vicissitude. In the last, and possibly most poignant line of the song, the narrator expresses his concern that “there ain't no island left for islanders like me,” an idea that sums up the isolation inherent in the life of a fisherman. The poem “No Man Is an Island” by John Dunne conveys the idea that one cannot survive without the aid of others (“No man is an island entire of itself”) and that everyone plays a role in a larger endeavor (“every man is a piece of the continent”). Conversely, the narrator in the song no longer has a pertinent position in the fishing industry, leading to his wayward spirit. “Islanders”, or those similar to the fisherman, have no legitimate place in society and instead are drifters, floating from one “island” to the next, led by fallacy and delusion. As the song suggests, as the fisherman’s prospects dwindle, so do his quixotic hopes for a better life.
Downeaster “Alexa” is a tale of the clash between conventional and contemporary existence, and questions the survival of tradition in a society so focused on continual progress. What will happen to those who resist the way of the world, and prefer the dependability of another era? Will despotic modernism render the ideals of the past obsolete? Although this is a bold conjecture of the fate of the future, the concept has been proven true throughout history as innovative ideas supplant conservative ones. Joel himself is a self-proclaimed traditionalist, a position that influences the tone of many of his songs. Perhaps Downeaster “Alexa” is a culmination of his fears for a modern perdition, a place where talent and hard-work mean nothing in a land of mass-produced artistry. Despite this cynical outlook upon the future, Joel’s aim is not to spread despair among listeners, but to provide them with a muse as to how to act when in trying times. The fisherman’s resilience and pertinacious attitude gives him a strength that illuminates the darkness of any situation, a beacon of triumph in everyday struggles.

Please aidez-moi!

This is for school, right? This is very, very mature and by the looks of this, you're obviously very articulate which is something that I'm envious of

I have totally no doubt that you are going to get a really high grade!

One thing I'd suggest, however, is letting your writing flow just a little bit more. I was finding it quiet hard to read, partly because I'm used to reviewing poetry and creative writing, but mainly because most of this is made up of very mature words that I'm not used to. In my opinion, it sounds strained...
Just let your mind flow a tiny bit more And hopefully, the way in which you right will flow a bit better too


I'm not trying to criticise. This is really good, especially for what you're writing about.
I'm just saying
i would'da liked to have read this better...
But Well Done Xxx

Thanks for your review! I do feel that I am way too superfluously pretentious in this essay-I'm not a big fan of the style, but my english teacher insists upon be "upping my game" (his words, not mine) by "using my best diction":(.

Corrections are in red, please read these.Personal opinion on the subject in blue, please disregard these.

bookworm27 wrote:Billy Joel’s stardom can be attributed to his ability to create anecdotal ballads that reflect the resilience of the human spirit. Through his songs, Joel exuviates his superstar image and invites listeners on a walk down memory lane, a journey that reinforces his humble beginnings as “the piano man.” In his eleventh album, Storm Front, Joel entwines social commentary and soulful musical arrangements to produce addictive hits that pay homage to his inception as an artist. This is a good start, but it is a little dry. Try to make it more engaging, draw us, the listners/readers, in.
While many of Joel’s songs invoke feelings of hope or reminisce---this word seems to not quite fit, as it is not often employed in such instances as this. Perhaps another could be substituted? about previous times, The Downeaster “Alexa”,---Not sure is the formatting is correct on this, check online just to make sure. provides insight into the plight of the ordinary man and the struggles of the working class. The song is written in the perspective of an indigent fisherman, caught at the bottom of thehierarchy of society. As he is assailed with the comminatory challenges that accompany his position in a moribund trade, the fisherman laments his barren future and the sacrifices he made to conserve his lifestyle. His lugubrious---Unless you're trying to impress your teacher, I wouldn't use this word. It's too irregular. journey is fueled off of a waning false hope that he can still be successful despite his growing socio-economic disadvantage. Throughout the song, Joel creates a sense of paralyzing disparity that dominates the tone---Like this, do not change. of the piece and reflects the true suffering of the protagonist. This disconsolate---This sort of interrupts the flow, I would use another word here undertone not only aids in the listener’s comprehension of the fisherman’s woeful tale, but also is testament his perseverance and pliancy---this word is only correct if you take it at its most literal sense, I would add something else.of spirit.
The first verse sets up the backdrop for the fisherman and begins to depict an average day in his life. The narrator immediately introduces the song’s namesake...the Downeaster “Alexa:” “Well I'm on the Downeaster ‘Alexa’, and I'm cruising through Block Island Sound.”---The formatting is a little odd here, try to restructure your sentense. The Downeaster is presented as a point of pride for the fisherman, who has worked all his life to have the privilege of owning one. His complacency on the sea is shown throughout the poem, and can be inferred by both his profession and the main setting of the song. The narrator speaks of the change of course he has made in his destination, alluding to the vagarious---there might be a better adjective than this out there... path his life has taken: “I have charted a course to the Vineyard, but tonight I am Nantucket bound.” In saying this, the listener is introduced to the fisherman’s overall helplessness to maintain any sense of constancy in a world of indefatigable---A little bit of a tongue twister here. I like it, but the sentence would be much stronger if you choose something simpler.change.
The second verse focuses primarily on the quotidian---Are his struggles really mundane? Maybe another adjective is in place. struggles the fisherman encounters. Due to economic conditions, he has been unable to afford the upkeep of a mainland house (“Like all the locals here I've had to sell my home”),---again, i'm sure that the lyrics could be better intergrated into the writing itself with a little work. and has been banished to sea. This isolation extirpates-I would use "extinguishes" or another closely akinned adjective. the possibility of a stable lifestyle, and constrains him to abide by the tempestuous ways of the water. The fisherman is “too proud to leave” the carcass of his past, and is instead immortalized as paradigm of pride’s double-edged sword. The barren---you already used this word, it kinda' sticks out. prospects of his future are an inequitable accolade---this forms an alliteration with inequitable, just to let you know. for the years he “worked his fingers to the bone,” and haunt the fisherman as a reminder of his failed endeavors. Despite the despairing undertones---again, there was a very similar phrase in the above paragraph. It bears the repetition, but I can't help but wonder if another word might be better suited to this case. of this portion of the song, the narrator does not indulge himself in the numbing comforts---not sure if I would have picked "comforts" of self-pity, but rather braves the impediments that accost---this is a little antiquated, I can't help but think of Shakespeare him, reminding the listener of the fortitude of the human spirit.
Although the song revolves around the theme of life’s hardships, the choruses bring in a fresh viewpoint and romanticize the journey of a fisherman. In the first chorus, the narrator reminisces---I would keep the word in this instance, and delete its previous appearance. about the genesis of his career, and the unadulterated---Personally, I don't exactly like this word. I would have used "unmarred," but whatever works for you. hope---you already used this. Might I suggest "dream" or "ambitions?" that accompanied it: “So I could own my Downeaster ‘Alexa’, I like the way you added the lyrics this time, it better fits your piece here. and go where the ocean is deep.” The lure of adventure attracted the fisherman to sea, promising “giants out there in the canyons,” and the opportunity to have a life of excitement. In adroit---this word seems a little out of place... prose, Joel refurbishes the antiquated debate of appearance versus reality, contrasting the credulous idealism of a would-be fisherman against the scabrous actuality of the working world. The narrator switches perspectives in the second chorus, and redirects focus to his current situation rather than the antecedent. In this stanza, the fisherman says---this verb seems painfully inadequate for "valediction." a valediction to the Downeaster “Alexa”, a symbolic representation of his sophistic dreams. He also provides reassurance to his wife back on the mainland, and claims he is “trawling Atlantis,” a reference to the concept of pursuing a futile goal. The fisherman injudiciously believes that he still adjures---I might be wrong, but I thought I saw this somewhere else in here... his own future (“I still have my hands on the wheel”), an allegation that does little more than replenish his supply of false hope. In the third chorus, the narrator continues to describe the calamities of his profession, and insinuates the boundaries of his potential. Joel’s total comprehension of the characters emotional state illuminates the tone of his voice, once again reminding the listener of the great talent he possesses. Due to both economic and environmental obstacles, the fisherman is unable to obtain the necessary amount of fish needed for him to make a living.---This whole sentence is repetitive, and it is a step down from the rest of the writing.“More and more miles from shore each year” refers to the growing coastline erosion plaguing the shores, and also to the fisherman’s deteriorating luck. Government regulations also impinge his profit, as he is unable to “sell no stripers” due to the prohibition Do you need an "of" in here?its sales. These three stanzas not only portray the exuberant number of challenges the fisherman faces, but also display his complex emotional depth, allowing the listener to regard him as a long-time friend, rather than merely a persona.
The song’s bridge begins with a chord change, introducing a new, dissonant layer to the piece. Previously, the fisherman focused primarily on himself, rather than others whom his actions impact, exemplifying his life of seclusion. His responsibility as a father permeates his decisions, and creates ancillary---this breaks up the flow. pressure for him to succeed (“I've got bills to pay and children who need clothes”). The fisherman is cognizant---this sticks out, I would use "aware." of the mitigating options he has for his future, but is bound by his obligations as the “bread-winner” of his family (“I've got people back on land who count on me”), and must find a way to make ends meet. He claims that “there's fish out there but where God only knows,” symbolizing his quest for a chimerical panacea---Let me put this plainly..."What in the world is that supposed to mean?" As a writer, I might be awed be your choice in vocabulary, but your average reader/listner wouldn't know if that's from a science textbook or Star Trek. This leads to a really weak ending. Try to keep it brief and simple, it's more powerful that way. And if you can tie the last sentence in with either the opening sentence or more adequately portray the subject subject here, that would be even better. to his problems.
P.S. Chimerical panacea? Imaginary cure? (Funny)

Whew, okay for a quick sum-up:
First of all, I liked the variations in vocabulary. A very enlightening read, to be sure.
Also, besides one or two instances, the grammer was top-notch. I have no doubt that you'll recieve an excellent grade.
However, some of the word choice would be difficult for even an English Professor to understand, but I have already pointed out a few of those cases. This lends itself to dryness, and it saps the life out of your work.
I understand that this is for school, and I wouldn't change anything this late in the game, but sometimes, the intricacies of an educated and sublime mind must, at times, wend their way into the comprehension of the common man. And so, we geniuses of the rhetorical art of speech, must refrain ourselves for using every possible extended lexicon in everyday use. But oh, soon they shall rue the day that the shunned the dictionary, for we shall beat them over the head with it. Mwah hah ha hah ha ha haah!!!
Anyway, I'm sure you get my point.
Other than that, the only other issue was that you didn't follow the stucture for an essay. Again, I wouldn't change anything now, but maybe as an extra some time you can look it up. It will save you time and effort when writing (enter one: essays, books reports, thesises, analysises, etc-eses).
I liked it, and as I've said, I'm sure you'll get a good grade.
Hope all that jargon helps,
~E.D.
(If you need anything else, just let me know, but I'm off the internet for the evening.)

Hi bookworm,
Eloquent Dragon has given you a ton of good nitpicks, so I'll just throw some general impressions your way.

The first paragraph seems very abrupt and underdeveloped. I don't know the prompt, so that may be part of the issue, but you dive into your content right away with the first sentence. Take some time with your introduction and provide as much meaningful background as you can. The introduction is the place to pull the reader into your topic. If you start by throwing out a bunch of facts, the reader will quickly become overwhelmed.

Like previous reviewers mentioned, the vocabulary used is incredibly distracting and really detracted from the piece. In general, it is best to use the simplest possible wording that still carries the same meaning. Advanced vocabulary should only be used in situations where the given idea can't be communicated in any other way. If your teacher is into that type of writing, then go for it, but trash that style as soon as you get out of his/her class. It ruined the essay for me.
Did you use a thesaurus for this? If so, I strongly suggest abandoning that practice. Many of the more advanced words are used oddly and in ways that don't work very well, which often occurs when people substitute words using a thesaurus. If you are going to use a word, make sure you know its exact meaning and the exact context it is typically used in. Overuse of unusual and/or advanced words tends to make writing seem pretentious at best and ridiculous at worst.

The proper punctuation for the song title should be "The Downeaster 'Alexa'".

The essay needs a stronger conclusion. Right now, it doesn't really even have a concluding paragraph. Tie all of your observations and thoughts together into a single meaningful point, and talk about that point for your conclusion. It will make your paper a lot tighter. You've done that to an extent already, but the paper will have a better concluding tone if you have a fully fleshed out conclusion in the form of a full paragraph.

In the final paragraph, you mention a chord change and how that relates to the meaning of the song. I liked that a lot. I'm not sure how much you know about music theory, but if you know a fair amount, I suggest relating more parts of the song to what's going on in the music. It will add a whole new dimension to the piece.

Overall, you have some really good ideas here and you've done a very in-depth analysis of the song. However, those strong points are being buried by poorly implemented vocabulary, and the lack of introduction and conclusion makes the paper seem unfinished. You're clearly a strong writer, so with some editing, you should be able to make this into an excellent paper.

Good luck PM me if you have any questions.

I totally agree with the vocab points-not my favorite part either. The essay is not quite finished-I'll put up the conclusion soon. Thanks for all the commentary!

Hey Bookworm, I'm here to review as requested!
No nitpicks, as those were covered, but I will give you a general impression. First of all, I would just like to say that I never in my life wrote a song analysis, but I have done poetry commentaries, so that's close enough anyway.

The vocabulary in this is highly sophisticated, which will definitely earn your brownie points with your teachers, but flow wise, it's a little heavy. The words do not flow nicely and roll off your tongue, but instead create a very heavy, slightly tedious feeling in the reader. Now, I understand that it's hard to write what you want to write in one of these commentaries, that are almost scientific, but surely an attempt of some sort can be made to make this flow nicer, and perhaps be more interesting.

Remember, you commenting on someone else's work is still a piece of writing. If you don't make that piece of writing interesting, people may be reluctant to read it.

I do not know much about the song you're commenting on and there wasn't a lot of background information as someone else pointed out, however I suppose this is due to the fact that your teacher told you to write this analysis as if the reader is already familiar with the text which is often the case.

Apart from that, I have no other comments. It's good grammar-wise, and a lot of the vocabulary I had to look up, so I'm guessing you're getting an 'A' if you managed to analyse it properly.