Tony. Everyday he does his absolute best to do everything in his power to do whatever the heck he wants. What can be said about such a great man?
These people have a few comments.
CITY HALL
Today there is a press conference going on. And if you are somehow not able to see bold writing, it is happening in City Hall.
"This Tony person is a menace to society!" said Mayor AppleMcdormat, "And he needs to be stopped from wreaking more havoc on our beautiful town!"
Cameras clicked and flashed as paparazzi took pictures of the clearly perspiring Mayor as he gave his speech. Now it was time for the question and answer segment.
"Mr. Mayor," said one blonde haired reporter, raising her hand,"what measures will be taken to stop Tony?"
The Mayor took a moment to wipe his sweaty brow before continuing.
"Well, we do have our finest investigators looking into the situation," he said, smiling.
"And have any of them found any leads on his whereabouts?"
"Well...no, actually, that Tony person is very slippery," confessed the mayor, now sweating even more. As the conversation continued, no one noticed the man standing in the shadows behind the Mayor, holding a bat.
Slowly but surely he made his way across the stage, holding the bat high above his head. He wondered why no one noticed him, and then found out why. The lights above were so bright that no one could see anything beyond the Mayor's podium.
Then the man raised his bat high and struck the Mayor in the back of the head. The Mayor slumped to the floor, unconscious, but unharmed(Gotta keep this think PG).
Then the man stepped over the Mayor and took his place in front of the podium. The man's name was Tony, but he was cleverly disguised as the Mayor. No one noticed the switch, which was to Tony's advantage.
"So, Mr. Mayor, where do you suppose Tony could be hiding?" said another male reporter.
Tony cleared his throat and adjusted his microphone.
"Well, Tony is such a sexy beast that I'm assuming if we find a strong concentration of female women, we'll find him somewhere in the center," said Tony proudly.
The whole room fell into an awkward silence.
"Excuse me, Mr. Mayor?" said the same reporter, looking shocked.
"Why should I excuse you, did you pass gas?" said Tony, looking down on the bewildered mass of reporters.
"Are you feeling alright, Mr. Mayor?" said yet another reporter, this time to the left of Tony.
"Yes, I'm fine. Except this Mayor suit that I painstakingly sewed together is getting a little uncomfortable in certain places. And it's quite hot," he said, frowning.
"What!" the mass of people shouted in unison.
"Oh, you people must have really bad hearing," said Tony, shaking his head, "Well, I must be on my way. Catching that Tony is a hard job, for he is a complete genius." Tony then smiled. "Man, I love that guy." Then Tony left the reporters, mouths gaping. But, after all, they didn't see him leave due to the ridiculous amount of lights.
When police finally got up on the stage to investigate they only found the huddled mass of the real Mayor. Ironically, they ended up taking him to jail instead of Tony.
Content with himself, Tony strutted down the sidewalk without any disguises, eager to seek out some female women.
Gender:
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