Here's the first chapter from my novel. I've re-written this so many times so I think there are some things mentioned more than once, or some I may forgot to mention at all!
Anyways, enjoy!
Chapter 1
Aka - Can I call you friend?
Crackles, swirls, and when I flip the burning leaves, the fiery splints dances along the flame. Tonight's not windy, something the local people say only happens when it's full moon. I look up, but the black clouds are too thick to let any light through. Tonight, the only light in this empty grassland is this bonfire, so warm and so comforting among the cold evening air. I'm alone, sitting while resting my head on my knees.
The color of your eyes used to shine as bright as that flame, but now it looks dead; red and damp.
"I know. I guess it's more fit to compare it to blood rather than fire now right?" I gave a stupid reply.
You shouldn't be too desperate like that. Good things will happen if you stay strong.
"I'm ok, Raziel. I don't feel like talking to you right now," I said, throwing myself back facing upwards. I forgot when I lost my hair tie, but now I don't really care if my hair got grass stuck in it.
Why?
"Because right now I'm dying to ask you to look at how my brother's going, but I know you can't tell me anything because your forbidden to do so," I tried to sound angry, desperate, and begging at the same time, hoping this angel could be corrupt once in a while.
Oh. That's right.
"..."
What?
"Sometimes I wonder why I'm able to talk to you. I don't see the point," I sighed.
Yes, I wonder why too. Usually I'm the one to choose who can hear my voice, I don't remember considering letting you.
I can't really see this as a miracle. I don't like it, it's like I'm stealing someone's gift but I can't open the box, all I can enjoy is the wrapper, while having to wonder what's inside every second I possess it.
Here is Raziel, an angel. That's what he refers to himself as, but the silly thing is none of us can prove it wrong or right. If he is, I thought he would be the type of angel that flies by my side invisibly, but sadly he isn't.
Back in my hometown, I used to rest under a tree and watch people walk around. Sometimes they would stop and say hi, most of the time they just passed as if I wasn't there. I never understand them, I always wonder what it feels like to be one of those kids with parents, with so much free time to have fun, to learn, or just to be a bully. The kids, the oldies, the teachers, they all had their own ways of looking at life. I could hear their voices, without them saying it. That's when I realized, the voices came from their mind. If only I try to look from their point of view, when I look at what they see, I understand what they feel.
I guess my ability and Raziel's intertwines somewhere. He's the all-seeing angel, which means he has his eyes on every corner of this world of Panna. I'm able to read people's mind by looking at their eyes and angels are no exception. I can hear Raziel's thoughts, or voice, it's no different assuming angels can't lie. Reading his mind is like having a real conversation.
I always bragged about Raziel to my brothers, but I stopped because they never missed the chance to laugh at me.
"Mr Raziel?" My seven year old self appeared in my mind, shyly asking this angel to talk to me.
Yes?
"Well, hello. My name is Aka."
I know that.
"...Well...umm...what are you doing?"
I'm writing a book.
My eyes grew larger when this angel actually responded to my conversation, "Really? What is it about?"
Truth.
"What is truth, Mr Raziel? Is it like when I found out the neighbor's been cheating on his wife?"
Oh my, a young girl like you is not supposed to know something like that! ...Well, I don't know what truth is myself. The Old Man just told me to write down the things he says.
"Old Man?" I wondered, who could be older than someone that had been watching from the beginning of time.
The Generator, the Operator, and the Destroyer of all put together. You call him God, but I'm sure we're not thinking of the same one.
I didn't know what to ask. If only my brother would have just believed me about Raziel, I would have passed the topic to him, he would have been more interested. Six years have past since those peaceful moments, I don't have any more chance to let my brother know about Raziel since now my brother is most probably...dead.
Now I'm alone, with just the bonfire sparks and the clouded moon. Another rustling alerts my ear, snapping me from my reminiscence. This time it's the sound of branches cracking, I'm sure someone's been watching me.
"Who's there?" I shouted to the trees behind me. My presumption is right, a figure that's not shunned by any light moves closer towards me.
Before I can see the face, the figure speaks to me, while still walking cautiously forwards, "Excuse me...may I join you, little girl?"
Now I see a man, maybe in his twenties, with clothes half ripped half stained with fresh blood.
Umm, no, is what I had in mind, but instead I welcome him to my company, "Sure, sit down."
Now I have someone to compare to, I realize my clothes are as messy as his. Not ripped, but they're stained with dirt all over the place, perhaps my face is as dirty as his. I could probably notice the stench of blood from him too, but I've been carrying bad smell for days that it blurs my sense.
After we exchanged names and introduced ourselves a bit, this guy named Luther asks me where I'm going.
"I'm trying to reach Peril, but I think I'm lost because of a stupid sign-post I came across earlier," I say, while remembering that sign. After days of walking, I thought I had found something that would give me a solid lead to Peril, but unfortunately, the sign was really misleading. It said Peril was left, while if I looked at the sign from behind, it also said Peril was left.
"Oh, that sign?" He says while trying to hold in his laughter. "The road splits into two, the signpost is indeed a trick. You're supposed to detour from the road, and just head straight into the woods. With a bit of luck, -and a certain condition-, you'll find that cave called Peril," he explains while moving his index finger around.
"Certain condition?" I asked.
"That place was designed by powerful Caspers, the people of the wind that dwell in the heart of this continent. They placed a seal there so only when it's bathed by the full moon, the cave will show it's entrance. " He says, this time munching on the food I've been grilling, mixing a familiar crispy sound with his voice. It's just some wild yam and mushrooms, not hard to find. "I'll show you the way, if you don't mind. Tonight is the only time you can go in, I guess we were fated to meet."
An ally, is what my brother told me to have. I'm very glad I met him at this time when I'm stuck without knowing where to go. Before I agree though, I look to his face, to his eyes. Even though he looks like a nice person, I don't want to risk anything. My fear proves right.
Delicious, juicy piece of meat. That's what he thinks when he looks at me, along with such a wild beastial feeling he kept a tight hold of. Is he thinking of having me for dinner? Is that how he got all those blood stains on his clothes? It's dark, and I don't want to offend him by mentioning the stains on his clothes.
Don't worry, he's a nice person. Just watch out for him under the moon.
Raziel can't read people's mind like I can, but he has never missed anything. Maybe he knows more than me, maybe not.
To decide, it's something I have never thought of before. My brothers always decided things for themselves, whatever it was, I always followed. Raziel has given me a point, and Luther's thought has given me another to consider.
When I was feeling desperate after the tragedy, I was having doubts about what I should do. Raziel was the only one I could ask then. "Should I even continue this journey for my brother, Raziel? I don't have anyone to follow anymore,"
Faith, it's something you need to put in the equation. No matter what decision you take, you need to believe.
"How can I rely on faith, when you're holding all the truth?"
What I hold are facts, not truth. You don't get the right facts all the time, what I see may not always be right. This is when faith comes to play, you'll realize in the end, decision is not a matter of right or wrong. It's what you think is right, based on your perception. For once, without your brothers by your side, make your choice, and believe in it.
It took me some time to think. I had no valid reason to continue this journey, and just like this time, I also don't have any reason to believe this guy. The final verdict?
"Y-yes. I'll go with you," I say, trying to hide my shaky tone.
"Good, we can't waste any more time, lets get going then" He says, immediately standing up.
He is my only lead, even though he may not be an ally, I have to keep going.
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I can't seem to express the MC's personality in this chapter. I'm not really sure what to do, since she's supposed to be really depressed while her usual self is cheerful. I think that's my biggest problem on this one.
Comments appreciated!
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