Young Writers Society

She twisted her Korth revolver menacingly. But I still couldn't believe that she was going to do that. Kill me.

“You have ruined my life. You stole everything from me....fame, money, lfe..everything,”

This was another proof that she was determined of killing me.

I barked in rage,not even wanting to hear the answers, just stalling for time .

It is unbelievable that a person on a mission would drop the gun so easily.

I looked down to see the Korth revolver close to me. While she is screaming and howling I should pick it up, I thought to myself. 

But who is at home around 10 at Beverly Hills.

I could see my death near me,  

The role which eventually was mine but went to you.

“Please tell me you're joking,” I pleaded. Olivia’s eyes were full of insanity and hatred. She wasn't going to spare me. What in the world had gotten into her?
“Why would I joke about such a serious matter? I am being serious. Trust me,” Olivia replied. She twisted her Korth revolver menacingly. But I still couldn't believe that she was going kill me
"She wouldn't kill me," I mumbled to myself.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked. Her heart shaped face didn’t look dangerous, even now, but I knew she was.
“You have ruined my life. You stole everything from me.... fame, money, life... everything!” she spat at me. This accusation hurt me like a splinter from a bomb blast. I had never thought that my best friend envied me. I had never done any bad to her, so why was she trying to kill me? Just for some silly reason? The part in bold is unnessecary.
Her fingers weren’t quivering and no smile lit up her face. This was more proof that she was determined to kill me. She had never stretched a joke or prank of hers for this long before. She was dead serious about this.
“I don't understand. How have I ruined your life?” I barked in rage, not even wanting to hear the answers, just stalling for time. I tried to free myself from the rope she had tied around my hands, which I was sure must have left a red mark on my wrists.
“You stole my peace. I don't get that part, look over it. I mean "You stole my peace." What the heck? Every night I go to bed wondering about how much God intends to give you. Expensive wardrobe, holidays at exotic places and five star treatment, all of this just drives me crazy. I am jealous of you. Did you hear me? I am jealous! I envy you!” she dropped the revolver and covered her ears with her hands screaming like a maniac which indeed she had become. It is unbelievable that a person on a mission would drop the gun so easily. Either she was insane or really stupid. I made a mental note of taking her to a psychiatrist if I survived this confrontation. Unnessecary.
I looked down to see the Korth revolver a couple of feet away. While she is screaming and howling I should pick it up, I thought to myself.
I took a deep breath before taking the revolver. Olivia was still standing there unaware of my plan. I bent down slowly and tried to bring the revolver closer to me by dragging it with my feet when pain abruptly struck me. Olivia had stomped her sandal on my foot. I screeched in pain, praying that my neighbors would somehow hear me. But who is at home around 10 at Beverly Hills.
Most of them are busy partying in a club or in five star hotels and no one is going to come before next day, I thought. The bones must have broken but... Couldn’t these thoughts go somewhere else? I looked up to see Olivia for the first time, greeting me with a demented smile.
“I should have made myself clear before,” she silently whispered.
I raised my one eyebrow. I couldn't understand her. It seemed like she was a new Olivia, the one I had never come across with, who was going to destroy me forever.
“I should have tied your mouth too. You shout a lot. Just like a B-grade actress. That’s what you are. You are not an A-grade one. People think you are, however you don't fool me I taught you acting! I got you work here! Remember?,” she shouted at top of her lungs.
“What do you want? Money? Fame?” I asked her politely. I had once read that you shouldn’t challenge or engage yourself in a fight with any mentally insane criminal.
“No. I just want your end,” she laughed hysterically . I could sense my death near me,
“Please don’t do this.”
"Okay then I want the role of Casey from Midnight Theft. The role which originally was mine but went to you. The one which made you what you are,” she transported me to those pleasant memories. I began thinking how accidentally the role had come to me. I heard a crackle and saw Olivia pointing the gun at my head. She pressed the trigger.... The next thing I knew was that I was dead. How do you know if you are dead whe you're dead? Like don't you die? lol... I floated above her, above my body leaving behind my paradise, the one I had created with my sheer hardwork and talent. I was leaving everything behind me. No one was going to be the witness of all this except for the non-living things which stood in my house's alleyway.
Then I remembered one old Indian proverb," We come in the world empty-handied and go back without anything. Then why does man crave fame and power?" I could now agree with the creator of proverb. I had spent my whole life earning all this power and success but it took a second for Olivia to separate me from it.
Though I was dead, a new Olivia had born, the one with a mission. To destroy everything which reminded the world of me. From here on started Olivia’s crime life.

PROLOGUE
AMANDA:
10:25 PM
25th June
“Please tell me you're joking,” I pleaded. Olivia’s eyes were full of insanity and hatred. She wasn't going to spare me. What in the world had gotten into her?
“Why would I joke about such a serious matter? Trust me,” Olivia replied. She twisted her Korth revolver which scared me more. But I still couldn't believe that she was going to do that. Kill me.
"She won’t kill me," (You need speech marks here) I mumbled to myself. My heart was beating frantically. But it didn't need to worry. All it's future pains were going to be stopped by Olivia. (I like how you've hinted what's going to happen here, but not made it too obvious)
“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked. Her heart shaped face didn’t look dangerous even now but I knew she was.
“You have ruined my life. Why life is (Why is life) so easy for you? You got everything you ever wanted while I was left to become your maid. I resent my life,” she spat at me. This accusation hurt me like a splinter from a bomb blast. It did hurt at first but I knew that she was not in her senses. I had never thought that my best friend envied me. I had never done any bad to her so why was she trying to kill me? Just for some silly reason?
"Maid? You aren't my maid but my manager," I cleared up the blame on me.
"How does it matter? Only the name is different but I am a maid. You treat me like one," she couldn't stop her rows of accusations.
Her fingers weren't quivering and no smile lit up her face. This could mean only one thing; she was determined of killing me. She had never stretched a joke or prank of hers for this long before. She was dead serious about this. (I liked this! It gave me chills...)“I don't understand. How have I ruined your life?” I barked in rage, not even wanting to hear the answers, just stalling for time. I tried to free myself from the rope she had tied around my hands, which I was sure must have left a red mark on my wrists, but in vain.
“You stole my peace. Every night I go to bed wondering about how much God intends to give you. Expensive wardrobe, holidays at exotic places and five star treatment, all of this just drives me crazy. I am jealous of you. Did you hear me? I am jealous! I envy you!” she dropped the revolver and closed her ears with her hands screaming like a maniac which indeed she had become. It was unbelievable that a person on a mission would drop the gun so easily. Maybe, she was insane. I made a mental note of taking her to a psychiatrist if I survived this confrontation.
I looked down to see the Korth revolver close to me. While she is screaming and howling I should pick it up, I thought to myself.
I took a deep breath before taking the revolver. Olivia was still standing there unaware of my plan. I bent down slowly and tried to bring the revolver closer to me by dragging it with my feet when pain abruptly struck me. Olivia had stomped her sandal on my foot. I screeched in pain, praying that my neighbors would somehow hear me. But who is at home around 10 at Beverly Hills. Most of them are busy partying in a club or in five star hotels and no one is going to come before next day, I thought. I looked up to see Olivia for the first time, greeting me with a smile but a demented one. (This seems a bit off to me. Maybe you could rephrase it? Something like, greeting me with a smile, but it was far from comforting. It was demented.)
“I should have made myself clear before,” she silently whispered.
I raised my one eyebrow. I couldn't understand her. It seemed like she was a new Olivia, the one I had never come across with, the one who was going to destroy me forever.
“I should have tied your mouth too. You shout a lot. Just like some B-grade actress. That’s what you are. You are not an A-grade one. You need to put a space between the full stop and the next letter People think you are, however you can't fool me. I taught you acting. I got you work here. Remember?,” she shouted at top of her lungs.
I couldn't believe she just had just said that.
“What do you want? Money? Fame?” I asked her politely. I had once read that you shouldn’t challenge or engage yourself in a fight with any mentally insane criminal or a gonna be. (Huh?)
“No. I just want your end,” she laughed hysterically(Don't need a space here!). I could see my death near me,
“Please don’t do this.”
"Okay then I want the role of Casey from Midnight Theft. The role which eventually was mine but went to you. The one which made you what you are,” she transported me to those pleasant memories. I began thinking how accidentally the role had come to me.
"What are you saying? That's impossible," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"How can I reverse back the time. It's next to impossible
I heard a crackle and saw Olivia pointing the gun at my head.(Need a space here)She pressed the trigger.... The next thing I knew was that I was dead. (This seems a bit sudden. You could maybe include that you felt a sharp pain rip through your head, or something?) I floated above her, above my body leaving behind my paradise,the one I had created with my sheer hardwork (Two seperate words) and talent. I was leaving everything behind me. No one was going to be the witness of all this except for the non-living things which stood in my house's alleyway.
Then I remembered one old Indian proverb, “We come in the world empty-handied (No need for the i) and go back without anything. Then why does man crave fame and power?" I could now agree with the creator of proverb. I had spent my whole life earning all this power and success but it took a second for Olivia to separate me from it.
Though I was dead, a new Olivia had born, the one with a mission. To destroy everything which reminded the world of me. From here on started Olivia’s crime life. (I really loved your ending!)

Olivia’s eyes were full of insanity and hatred.

“Why would I joke about such a serious matter? Trust me,” Olivia replied.

She twisted her Korth revolver which scared me more. But I still couldn't believe that she was going to do that. Kill me.

She won’t kill me, I mumbled to myself.

My heart was beating frantically. But it didn't need to worry.

Her heart shaped face didn’t look dangerous even nowbut I knew she was.

“You have ruined my life. Why life is so easy for you? You got everything you wanted while I was left to become your maid. I resent my life,” she spat at me.

It did hurt at first but I knew that she was not in her senses.

I had never done any bad to her so why was she trying to kill me?

Just for some silly reason?

"Maid? You aren't my maid but my manager," I cleared up the blame on me.

"How does it matter? Only the name is different but I am a maid. You treat me like one," she couldn't stop her rows of accusations.

Her fingers weren't quivering and no smile lit up her face.

This could mean only one thing; she was determined of killing me.

She was dead serious about this.

“You stole my peace. Every night I go to bed wondering about how much God intends to give you. Expensive wardrobe, holidays at exotic places and five star treatment, all of this just drives me crazy. I am jealous of you. Did you hear me? I am jealous! I envy you!” she dropped the revolver and closed her ears with her hands screaming like a maniac which indeed she had become.

Maybe, she was insane.

But who is at home around 10 at Beverly Hills.

Most of them are busy partying in a club or in five star hotels and no one is going to come before next day, I thought.

I raised my one eyebrow.

It seemed like she was a new Olivia, the one I had never come across with, the one who was going to destroy me forever.

“I should have tied your mouth too. You shout a lot. Just like some B-grade actress. That’s what you are. You are not an A-grade one.People think you are, however you can't fool me. I taught you acting. I got you work here. Remember?,” she shouted at top of her lungs.

I couldn't believe she just had justsaid that.

"Okay then I want the role of Casey from Midnight Theft. The role which eventually was mine but went to you. The one which made you what you are,” she transported me to those pleasant memories.

She pressed the trigger.... The next thing I knew was that I was dead.

I could now agree with the creator of proverb.

Though I was dead, a new Olivia had born, the one with a mission.

From here on started Olivia’s crime life.

AMANDA:
10:25 PM
25th June

“Please tell me you're joking,” I pleaded. Olivia’s eyes were full of insanity The word feels kind of awkward. and hatred. She wasn't going to spare me. What in the world had gotten into her?

“Why would I joke about such a serious matter? Trust me,” Olivia replied. She twisted her Korth revolver which scared me more. But I still couldn't believe that she was going to do that. Kill me.

I don't know if revolvers could twist, but I'm sure their barrels can. So, try:

She spun the barrel of her Korth revolver, sending a rising lurch of fear into my gut.

The following sentences are stiff and flat. Try:

I couldn't believe that she was actually going to kill me.

She won’t kill me, I mumbled to myself. Mumbled? No. Thought to himself? Yes. My heart was beating frantically. But it didn't need to worry. All it's future pains were going to be stopped by Olivia. Again, awkward and stiff. Flex and revise, make it sound more natural, as if you yourself were thinking this while you're at death's door.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked. Her heart-shaped face didn’t look dangerous even now but I knew she was. Tame, perhaps? 'Heart-shaped' really puts me off. The sentence is also very awkward. Like I've said, try to flex it a little, so it'll come off more naturally.

“You have ruined my life. Why life is so easy for you? You got everything you wanted while I was left to become your maid. I resent my life,” Dear little darling girl, I think you are diagnosed with a severe case of EECE, the 'Emo Emo Cliche Emo' disease. Please. Do you talk like that in real life? Is that what you would say if faced with the same dreadful situation? I know this may sound harsh, but it's a good and helpful piece of advice for every writer out there: GET. REAL. she spat at me. This accusation hurt me like a splinter from a bomb blast. Forced simile. Find something more natural. You may think I'm being a bit too repetitive about this 'natural' thing, but this is the problem that I see here. You lack the essence of reality in this piece, which is, in my opinion, a crying shame. This piece has promise in it, if only polished in the right way. It did hurt at first, but I knew that she was not in her right sense. I had never thought that my best friend envied me. I had never done any bad to her so why was she trying to kill me? Just for some silly reason? Again, cliche. Also, seeing that this is a conversational piece, you can use contractions (I'd, You've, You're, and such), because this does not necessarily need to be formal. Being too formal actually puts the reader off in some way.
"Maid? You aren't my maid but my manager," I cleared up the blame on me. Stiff. I won't say it again.
"Why does it matter? Only the name is different but I am a maid. You treat me like one," But what's in a name? That which we call a rose; by any other name would smell as sweet. But it's not working for me. Try replacing 'name' with 'title'. she couldn't stop her rows of accusations. Try, 'she couldn't seem to stop with all of her accusations towards me'.
Her fingers weren't quivering and no smile lit up her face. This could mean only one thing; she was determined to kill me. She had never stretched a joke or prank of hers for this long before. She was dead serious about this. Bravo.
“I don't understand. How have I ruined your life?” You are seriously starting to sound like one of those cheesy drama soaps I see on TV every frickin night of my miserable little life, which is a bad thing... for you. I barked in rage, not even wanting to hear the answers, just stalling for time. I tried to free myself from the rope she had tied around my hands, which I was sure must have left a red mark on my wrists, but in vain.
“You stole my peace. Every night I go to bed wondering about how much God intends to give you. Expensive wardrobe, holidays at exotic places and five star treatment, all of this just drives me crazy. I am jealous of you. Did you hear me? I am jealous! I envy you!” ULUL. What a pathetic excuse to kill someone. she dropped the revolver and clamped her hands over her ears, screaming like a maniac, which indeed she had become. It was unbelievable that a person on a mission would drop the gun so easily. A person on a mission? Cheesy. Maybe she was insane. I made a mental note of taking her to a psychiatrist, if ever I survived this confrontation.
I looked down to see the Korth revolver close by me. While she is screaming and howling I should pick it up, I thought to myself. Try, 'I should take it while she's still distraught, I thought to myself'. Screaming and howling is so (here I go again) awkward and it sounds so emo.
I took a deep breath before taking the revolver. Taking is becoming repetitive. Try, 'I took a deep breath, cautiously wrapping my trembling fingers around the revolver'. Different notion, same effect, better flow, less cliche. Olivia was still standing there, unaware of my plan. I bent down slowly and tried to bring the revolver closer to me by dragging it with my feet when pain abruptly struck me. I thought he already took it? Olivia had stomped her sandal on my foot. I screeched 'Yelp', perhaps? in pain, praying that my neighbors would somehow hear me. But who is at home around 10 No numbers. Makes you less professional and makes the piece informal. Never use digits. Use only words, unless required to do otherwise. When dealing with the exact time, or if portraying visual images of numbers, you can use digits. at Beverly Hills? Most of them are probably busy partying in a club or in five star hotels and no one is going to come home before next day, I thought. I looked up to see Olivia for the first time, greeting me with a smile but a demented one. Try, 'I looked up to Olivia as if seeing her for the first time, and she greeted me with a demented smile'.
“I should have made myself clear before,” she silently whispered. A whisper IS silent. Have you ever heard of such a thing as a loud whisper before, hmm?
I raised my one eyebrow. ZOMG HE HAS ONLY ONE EYEBROW? Try, 'I quirked an eyebrow at her'. I couldn't understand her. It seemed like she was a new Olivia, one that I had never come across with, one who was going to destroy me forever. CLIIICHE.
“I should have tied your mouth too. Try, 'I should've taped over/muffled your mouth, too', although if you decide to use muffled, remove the 'your mouth' bit. You shout a lot, just like some B-grade actress. I don't get this. That’s what you are. You are not an A-grade one. People think you are, however LOL do people really use that word in conversational English? you can't fool me. I taught you acting. ...Maybe you mean, 'I taught you how to act'. I got you work here, remember?” she shouted at top of her lungs. Shoutshoutshout. Can't they do anything but shout?
I couldn't believe she just had just said that. Remove the highlighted parts.
“What do you want? Money? Fame?” I asked her politely. How can you be so polite when your life is being threatened? I had once read that you shouldn’t challenge or engage yourself in a fight with any mentally insane criminal, or one that was on their way to being one.
“No. I just want your end,” Epic, but not good. she laughed hysterically. I could see my death near me. Try, 'I could see my death nearing close to me'.
“Please don’t do this.”
"Okay, then. I want the role of Casey for Midnight Theft. The role which eventually was to become mine but went to you instead. The role which made you what you are now.” she transported me to those pleasant memories. I began thinking how accidentally the role had come to me.
"What are you saying? That's impossible!" I said. Try something more dramatic to place here instead of 'said'.
"Are you sure?"
"How can I reverse back the time. It's next to impossible!" Lolwhut?
I heard a crackle and saw Olivia pointing the gun at my head. She pressed the trigger. No need for an ellipse here.

The next thing I knew was that I was dead.

I floated above her, above my body, leaving behind my paradise, the one I had created with my sheer hard work and talent. I was leaving everything behind me. No one was going to be the witness of all this except for the non-living things which stood in my house's alleyway. Here is where you get all detail-y and dramatic, but you failed me in this aspect. You were supposed to describe more the feeling of loosing consciousness, the pain, the fading light, the numbness, whatever; just don't give me the 'I'm dead and I'm now floating above the world' type of cliche that I can live without gladly. Be original. Think up your own concept. Don't follow the general rules. What I mean is, for example, if you're writing about a vampire, don't make him allergic to garlic or turn into ash under the sun! One: be logical. Two: whip up something new! Your imagination is there for a reason, so use it to the fullest extent!
Then I remembered one old Indian proverb, “We come into the world empty-handed and go back without anything. Then why does man crave fame and power?" I could now agree with the creator of proverb. I had spent my whole life earning all this power and success but it took a second for Olivia to separate me from it. Show, don't tell. What I mean is, you're talking about emotion now, how it feels, what the character thinks as he... um... well... floats toward the light. I didn't even feel like the character was feminine. You gave no hint, albeit the given name, Amanda. If it weren't there, and if you didn't mention Casey, I would have totally thought that the character was male. Notice how I used 'he' all through this review to refer to the persona? That's why. Put gender indicators so your characters will be easier to identify.
Though I was dead, a new Olivia had been born, one with a deadly Why did I suggest that you put in this word? ...No reason. Just wanted you to emphasize on what kind of mission it is. mission - to destroy everything which reminded the world of me. Holy schnap, Batman. Cool.

From here on started Olivia’s crime life.
I. hate. this. ending! What with all that action, you end it with another cliche and not with a heart-pounding cliffhanger or something of the sort? Dang it. And what with 'crime life'? It just... sounds so... discomforting, in a critique-to-error way, not in the I-fear-thee way, if you get what I mean. I guess that's it.

shubhiloves2write wrote:PROLOGUE
AMANDA:
10:25 PM
25th June
“Please tell me you're joking,” I pleaded. Olivia’s eyes were full of insanity and hatred. She wasn't going to spare me. What in the world had gotten into her?
“Why would I joke about such a serious matter? Trust me,” Olivia replied. She spun the barrel of her Korth revolver, sending a rising This is a great word but it doesn't work just here. lurch of fear into my gut.
But I still couldn't believe that she was going to do that. Kill me.
She won’t kill me, I consoled myself. My heart was beating frantically. But it didn't need to worry. All it's future pains were going to be stopped by Olivia.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked. Her heart shaped face didn’t look dangerous, even now, but I knew she was.
“You have ruined my life. Why life is so easy for you? You got everything you wanted while I was left to become your maid. I resent my life,” she spat at me. This accusation hurt me like a splinter from a bomb blast. It did hurt at first, but I knew that she was not in her senses. I had never thought that my best friend envied me. I had never done any bad to her so why was she trying to kill me? Just for some silly reason?
"Maid? You aren't my maid but my manager," I cleared up the blame on me.
"How does it matter? Only the name is different but I am a maid. You treat me like one," she couldn't stop her rows of accusations.
Her fingers weren't quivering and no smile lit up her face. This could mean only one thing; she was determined of killing me. This sounds awkward, maybe you could try something like: she was determined to kill me. She had never stretched a joke or prank of hers for this long before. She was dead serious about this.
“I don't understand. How have I ruined your life?” I barked in rage, not even wanting to hear the answers, just stalling for time. I tried to free myself from the rope she had tied around my hands, which I was sure must have left a red mark on my wrists, but in vain.
“You stole my peace. Every night I go to bed wondering about how much God intends to give you. Anexpensive wardrobe, holidays at exotic places and five star treatment, all of this just drives me crazy. I am jealous of you. Did you hear me? I am jealous! I envy you!” she dropped the revolver and closed her ears with her hands screaming like a maniac which indeed she had become. It was unbelievable that a person on a mission would drop the gun so easily. Maybe, she was insane. I made a mental note of taking her to a psychiatrist if I survived this confrontation.
I looked down to see the Korth revolver close to me. While she is screaming and howling I should pick it up, I thought to myself.
I took a deep breath before taking the revolver. Olivia was still standing there unaware of my plan. I bent down slowly and tried to bring the revolver closer to me by dragging it with my feet when pain abruptly struck me. Olivia had stomped her sandal on my foot. I screeched in pain, praying that my neighbors would somehow hear me. But who is at home around 10 at Beverly Hills.Question mark Most of them are busy partying in a club or in five star hotels and no one is going to come before next day next day sounds awkward, maybe try something like tommorow, I thought. I looked up to see Olivia for the first time greeting me with a smile but a demented one.
“I should have made myself clear before,” she silently whispered.
I raised my one eyebrow. I couldn't understand her. It seemed like she was a new Olivia, the one I had never come across with, the one who was going to destroy me forever.
“I should have tied your mouth too. You shout a lot. Just like some B-grade actress. That’s what you are. You are not an A-grade one. People think you are, however you can't fool me. I taught you acting. I got you work here. Remember?,” she shouted at top of her lungs.
I couldn't believe she just had just said that.
“What do you want? Money? Fame?” I asked her politely. I had once read that you shouldn’t challenge or engage yourself in a fight with any mentally insane criminal or a gonna be.
“No. I just want your end,” she laughed hysterically . I could see my death near me,Again this doesn't really sound right. Perhaps you could say I could see that my end was near.
“Please don’t do this.”
"Okay then I want the role of Casey from Midnight Theft. The role which eventually was mine but went to you.I think you mean the role that was supposed to be myn but went to you The one which made you what you are,” she transported me to those pleasant memories. I began thinking how accidentally the role had come to me.
"What are you saying? That's impossible," I said.
"Are you sure?"
"How can I reverse back the Delete the time. It's next to impossible.
I heard a crackle and saw Olivia pointing the gun at my head.She pressed the trigger.... . The pain in my heart was unbearable before but was nothing in front of the mental pain she had given me. I felt something stuck in my throat which was making breathing even more tough for me. My vision started blackening and I could just see a faint smile lit up my killer's face. You changed tenses here halfway through a sentence. You need to change lit to light I was there on the chair, tied up, fighting for a life. The next thing I knew I was dead.I floated above her, above my body leaving behind my paradise,the one I had created with my sheer hardwork and talent. I was leaving everything behind me. No one was going to be the witness of all this except for the non-living things which stood in my house's alleyway.
Then I remembered one old Indian proverb, “We come in the world empty-handied and go back without anything. Then why does man crave fame and power?" I could now agree with the creator of proverb. I had spent my whole life earning all this power and success but it took a second for Olivia to separate me from it.
Though I was dead, a new Olivia had born, the one with a deadly mission- To destroy everything which reminded the world of me This sounds awkward, to destroy everything that reminded her of my world. This was just going to be the beginning of her crime life, life of crime full of guilt and insanity.

"How can I reverse back the time. It's next to impossible.
I heard a crackle and saw Olivia pointing the gun at my head. She pressed the trigger.... . The pain in my heart was unbearable before but was nothing in front of the mental pain she had given me

I had created with my sheer hardwork and talent. I was leaving everything behind me. No one was going to be the witness of all this except for the non-living things which stood in my house's alleyway.

I pleaded.

Olivia replied. She spun the barrel...

“I should have tied your mouth too. You shout a lot. Just like some B-grade actress. That’s what you are. You are not an A-grade one. People think you are, however you can't fool me. I taught you acting. I got you work here. Remember?,” she shouted at top of her lungs.

"How can I reverse back the time. It's next to impossible need continuation here
I heard a crackle and saw Olivia pointing the gun at my head.She pressed the trigger.... .

I had once read that you shouldn’t challenge or engage yourself in a fight with any mentally insane criminal or a gonna be.

Though I was dead, a new Olivia had born, the one with a deadly mission- To destroy everything which reminded the world of me. This was just going to be the beginning of her crime life, full of guilt and insanity.