Malpractice .:Chapter One:.

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If I would have known of the adventure about to befall me, I might have convinced my mistress to stay with her parents. The appeal of Peaceful Valley was too good to pass for mistress. She had been looking for an apartment for over a year. Finding an affordable one at Peaceful Valley was a blessing. I wasn't going to ruin her dream. Stretching, I looked through the window of the Jeep; it was beautiful on the outside. Meadows were perfectly green, trees had all their leaves, even ducklings were following their mother. Mistress picked a lovely place to move too. She had great taste in places. It didn't seem to bother her that there were farms that surrounded the apartment vacancy. Of course, she was a veterinarian technician. Her job revolved around animals.
Mistress? She rescued me from my abusive owner a year ago. My previous owner had taken me to the closest veterinarian in the town. Walking in to the office, I had heard a gasp. She had saw me in all my pitiful glory. Limping, ribs showing, left eye matted shut, I was the pantheon of pathetic. After my visit, she had called animal control about my condition. Eventually, I found my way into her arms. Afraid, she had made me warm up to her. She would allow me to lie in her lap while she read books out loud. I enjoyed her company. She's kind hearted, thoughtful, smart, and, overall, the greatest mistress a feline could ever ask from a human. Her name was Carmen Leslie. Yes, I know, it was a weird last name. I like being Miscrit Leslie. Miscrit? Oh, that's my new name. I didn't really have a name before Carmen adopted me. I was known as that stupid cat. It was a nice to have an owner that is caring toward animals.
"Isn't it beautiful, Miscrit?" mistress asked.
Looking through the window, I saw the apartment complex that was my new home. It was surrounded by tall oak trees, beautiful bird baths, not to mention a nice, shady patio that one could snooze on for hours. Meowing in response to mistress' question, I jumped through the open window when she electronically rolled it down for me. My priority was to search to the very borders of the property. I wanted to explore. I wanted to learn. I wanted to know everything there was to know about this unbelievably wonderful place.
"Something smells."
I lifted my snout to the sky to try and pinpoint the smell that was wavering toward me. It had that dead smell to it which it was something to worry. Not able to pinpoint the smell, I continued to explore the property of the apartment complex. I wanted to know every nook, cranny, and hole on the grounds of the apartment complex. A cat, as myself, had to know where everything was and is at the moment. Maybe it was my kitty OCD. I figured I had some kind of OCD. Can cats have OCD? I sat on my hind legs as I pondered this very question. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, was I able to have this disorder? My tail flicked ever so slightly as I tried to answer this question. The distraction had made me forget all about my mission of that terrible smell. Now, I had to wonder, can cats have ADD? I seem to be distracted a lot when these types of questions seem to fill my head. I sat in that one spot, underneath the shaded oak tree, trying to answer my own asked questions. Sometimes I wondered how I even got around. I never got anything done.
"Miscrit, dinner time! Your fish will get cold," shouted mistress.
Not one to miss fish for dinner, I started toward the apartment. Walking past a busier then usual bush, my nose picked the scent of that horrible dead smell. The smell in which I had forgotten with my ADD questions. Putting black nose to ground, I started to follow the scent. I discreetly heard mistress calling my name. I'll be for dinner in a few minutes. I never miss fish night! Walking farther into the brush, the smell had become stronger; so strong, that my nose scrunched in disgust. Sneezing loudly, I cleaned my sensitive thing. Looking at the thorns of the bush, I had failed to recognize the thick liquid that flowed between my paws. The metallic smell caught my attention. Looking at my paws, I jumped in shock. Shaking my paws, I tried to clean the blood off my fur.
"Blood? Why is there blood here?" my quiet voice rang. "Was somebody hunting?"
Getting over the fact that blood was staining my beautiful brown fur, I pressed through the thorny bushes. At that time, I swore my green eyes would have popped out of my head at the scene. A Rottweiler was staring at me with glassy, lifeless eyes. Dried blood (and fresh blood mind you) was around areas of wound infliction. I grimaced at the sight of it. Scars indicated that this canine was operated on at one point, or maybe he was beaten then got stitches. I've gotten stitches for accidentally playing too close to the lawn mower; however, most stitches were done by my owner. These scars looked professional. Looking around it, I spotted something on the back of the head. A bump was starting to form. Somebody had smacked him hard on the head with a blunt object. Kill him? Maybe. Knock him out? Most likely. Needle attached to hind leg? That was weird. Was something given to him? It wasn't anesthesia; otherwise, they wouldn't have smacked him over the head. A drug was being given to him at his time of death. A allergic reaction? Possiblity.
"Another one? They need to stop putting dead carcasses in my woods."
"Another one? Do others look like this poor guy?"
"All the time, feline."
I titled my head at the grey wolf in front of me. He seemed to be the alpha of his pack the way he held himself. He had a nick in his ear which meant he fought for his position. Good for him. His yellowish eyes looked at the dead dog, before turning to leave. Blinking, I darted in front of him. Very rash for a smart cat. He looked down upon me. I started to shiver slightly. I didn't like canines. Wolves would absolutely terrify me. The wolf gave a low laugh as he sat on his hindquarters. My head only tilted farther to the side.
"Never had a feline so brave, cat," he chuckled. "I could have you for lunch."
"It's dinner not lunch," I corrected him. "And, I want to know more about these dead … carcasses … as you so kindly put it."
"New?"
I shook my head in a upward movement. I just moved here. Of course, I'm not going to understand the goings on of Peaceful Valley. The wolf stood once again. As he walked around me, I saw his tail sway in amusement. Walking into the darker part of the woods, his head turned toward my position. I didn't stare at him. I kept staring at the dead body in front of me. Something wasn't right. Somebody was experimenting on this poor dog. Did the owner know about these experiments? Malpractice? The wolf chuckled as if he saw the gears turning in my head.
"Not all is peaceful in Peaceful Valley, miss kitty," he commented. "I suggest you stay out of the goings on in this town."
With that odd advice, he ran off into the woods. He probably had a pack to take care of at the moment. It was spring time after all. Speaking of spring time, it is the time of year when I wished mistress would have spayed me. This insatiable thirst for …. no, no …. I'm not going to go there. It would show soon enough. Shaking my paws, I started walking toward the apartment complex. My mission about the smell was a success. Only, a bigger mystery had unraveled itself before me. What have I gotten myself into? Why do I always over calculate these things? Is it my nature, or my desire to learn new things like a human? I should take a vacation. Stretching my back legs, I started to clean myself from the blood that stained my fur. I do not need mistress to worry.
"Miscrit, your dinner is getting cold!"
Of course, I always worry her when I explore. She doesn't seem to understand I will come back to her. I need my space. I need my knowledge. I need to know things that I shouldn't have gotten my nose into in the first place. I hadn't realized that the wolf's odd advice had been correct in itself. I should have stopped while I was ahead. Nothing was peaceful in Peaceful Valley. Funny how names seem to misinterpret themselves. One should really work on naming towns names that fit them. Maybe the animals could teach them a thing or two? Walking into the apartment, I saw my fish on the floor. Sitting beside it, I bent to eat the fish. It was just right. The flesh wasn't too hard too tear, yet it was not too soft. The meat was juicy. I liked when the meat was juicy in fish. I like in mice as well. That thought was form the mouse that scurried across the floor.
"No wonder mistress go this place so cheap," I purred. "It has a mouse infestation. I'll take care of that problem. Mouse hunting is a good hobby. It gives great exercise."
The mouse heard my voice as it squeaked away into a mouse hole. I rolled my eyes as I continued to eat the fish. Great, now it will tell the others a cat is in the apartment. They'll try to sneak past me. Well, I'm a great hunter. They'll never know when I will clamp my jaws around their heads, waists, and even tails. I liked grabbing them by their tail. I could swing them around while they squeaked and squirmed. Finishing my fish, I licked my lips then cleaned my paws. I'm a neat freak. OCD? Back to that question. Walking into the living room, I hopped onto mistress' lap. She started to pet me as I purred. Rolling onto my side, she got the hint to pet my stomach. My life was good. Why was I worried about such things as dead dogs lying in the woods? Actually, why was I interested in it in the first place? My tail twitched in annoyance. I shouldn't have to worry. I just moved here. Mistress wouldn't allow anything to happen to me. Actually, I wonder which clinic she is working with now. She had to move jobs with the apartment move. Maybe I can convince her to take me tomorrow. I'm sure the clinic wouldn't mind a cat wondering around. I'm great company. Drifting to sleep, I purred from the attention. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day. I should get my rest. Who knows what I will find at the clinic?




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Hello! Little Princess here for a review!

So the first line is a little heavy, therefore, it doesn't really draw the reader in and it causes the reader to get stuck.
If I would have known of the adventure about to befall me, I might have convinced my mistress to stay with her parents.
Would have is easily changed to "had" and befall is too thick of a word. It is also too vague and too wordy. You want the first line to be something catchy, not something the reader has to stumble through in order to get the point. So, think about that and think about changing it up.

too good to pass for mistress
for... the mistress? My mistress?

Finding an affordable one at Peaceful Valley was a blessing.
I think this is a fragment, but even if it's not technically a fragment it sounds incomplete.
She had been looking for an apartment for over a year. Finding an affordable one at Peaceful Valley was a blessing. I wasn't going to ruin her dream.
Those three sentences are short and choppy. When writing you should keep in mind that you want to vary your sentence lengths because otherwise it just sounds like bullet points.

Mistress picked a lovely place to move too
(Comma before "too"). Is Mistress her name? If that's the case then scratch the earlier comment and make it capitalized. If it isn't then you need "my" or "the" or something.

Yes, I know, it was a weird last name.
It didn't strike me as a particularly weird last name... so I don't really think this part is necessary.

Oh! The narrator is a cat? I had no idea! I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

"Something smells."
Is someone saying this? If so you should indicate who, if it's a thought it shouldn't be in quotes it should be in italics.

It had that dead smell to it which it was something to worry.
Very bumpy sentence. Less is more!

t that time, I swore my green eyes would have popped out of my head at the scene. A Rottweiler was staring at me with glassy, lifeless eyes.
Eyes sounds a bit repetitive here.

"Another one? They need to stop putting dead carcasses in my woods."
"Another one? Do others look like this poor guy?"
"All the time, feline."
I titled my head at the grey wolf in front of me.
You need to indicate who is speaking after it is spoken. It took me a couple of times reading it over to actually understand the conversation.

I shook my head in a upward movement.
Just say nodded.

He probably had a pack to take care of at the moment
"At the moment" is unnecessary. It just makes the sentence thicker than necessary and it's obvious that it was at the moment.

While your story took a while to get into, I have to say I really like it. I like how everything is from a cat's point of view, it is original and creative and the thought process is interesting because it really characterizes Miscrit. Even the name seems to give her a character. What you need to work on is your language, a lot of it is very heavy and hard to get through. Remember that less is more, most of the time your meaning is clear and you don't need the extra words. Work on varying sentence lengths as well, as well, to keep it interesting. I look forward to the next chapter, I love everything from the cat's views, the descriptions, the thoughts, keep up the good work and just remember; LESS IS MORE! :)

PM me if you have any questions, comments, concerns.
"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
The Little Prince




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An interesting start to a novel. I like how the protagonist was a cat and I like the use of foreshadowing that you have going on. And I like how the foreshadowing is kind of weaved into the rest of the story and not just the beginning. It makes me curious as to what will happen to all of the characters in this novel.

The meadows were perfectly green, the trees had all their leaves, and even ducklings were following their mother.

Just a few added words to improve the sentence and make it flow better.

Mistress picked a lovely place to move too. She had great taste in places.

This is a bit repetitive, but not a hugely repetitive thing. Mostly just a nitpick for me, as I partly think it works, but it still somewhat irks me.

Afraid, she had made me warm up to her.

I would like a bit more detail to this part. It takes a while for cats to get used to new owners, but it will take so much longer for an abused animal to get used to people again. Even if your cat can think to this extent, there still should be instincts. I just think that abuse is such a heavy topic that you need to give a bit more detail to the cat getting used to people again.

Maybe it was my kitty OCD. I figured I had some kind of OCD.

Where did she get all of this information on all of these disorders? I mean, I admit that you need to take a leap to come up with what cat's think about and the readers are willing to accept these things. But the cat thinking about human disorders and applying it to cats was just a bit too far of a leap for me. So I think you need to give a bit more explanation as to how and why this cat is thinking about this. Is Carmen always telling Miscrit that she has kitty OCD and ADD? Or is Carmen always talking about having OCD and ADD?

Wolves would absolutely terrify me.

Then shouldn't she be terrified? There's a wolf in front of her, so I think that this sentence needs to be modified to reflect that. Plus, the rest of the scene should reflect that as well. I mean, it's a wolf and she's just a cat. She should react accordingly.

Speaking of spring time, it is the time of year when I wished mistress would have spayed me.

A bit of a nitpick as a cat lover; wouldn't the vet have spayed her after she had healed enough to survive the operation? Even if they are putting her towards a shelter, they would have spayed her as a general policy.

That thought was from the mouse that scurried across the floor.

A typo there. :)

All in all, a very interesting story. I did really enjoy the cat protagonist, though there were a few times where I struggled with it. I liked how you set things up for the plot to take place and I am already feeling the thriller vibe. I feel sorry for the animals, though, and it kind of makes me cringe. But that's a good thing for a story such as this. It's obvious that you don't want people going 'Yay, animal cruelty!' :) I think you've added enough of a hook that people will continue reading to see what happens next.

Good luck with your writing and feel free to PM me with any questions.

- Tatra
Some people fall in love and touch the sky.
Some people fall in love and find Quicksand.

- Incubus



"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
— Pablo Neruda