Scour of Power (Chapter 2)

Scour of Power

Chapter 2

I woke up. There was hundereds of people in cell full of some gray liquid. Me too actually, I panicked and started to scream over the iron metal or whatever room. No one could hear me. As the gray liquid was fulling of my cell i lost consciousness but i started to dream. There was The God and those hundreds of people i was in room with. God was sitting on the big chair and I was standing in row of those hundreds of people. The God was sorting me and those hunderds od people into 2 groups. One group went to door on the right and the second group went to left. The god show me that I have to go to the right but I took my gun and shooted him into his head. He started to bleeding over his eyes , and nose. As was the blood draining all over his body it created a Picture i allways remember. It was Picture of Doom.
The hundreds of people attacked but then as we was standing on the air we started to falling on the ground. I thought this is the end of this story but then a big ant appear and move by his magical stick and I lost consciousness.

Chapter 3 Coming Soon


Chapter 1 ( topic60179.html )


So what do you guys think?

Hey, here to review!

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You shot God, really? This was kind of offensive, I'm sorry to say. But that won't slip into my review:

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Praise:
Once again your piece gives me something to review. Good or Bad depending on how you look at it. Fresh (Somewhat offensive) ideas. I really do like your work and will read it as much as possible. Keep it up. But please don't shoot Allah or Buddah please. They might get real angry.

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Problems:
Grammar. Fulling is meant to be Filling. Read more man. But other than that, you really could have improved on this grammar. And if your first language is English (I'm really careful about this now because I don't want to offend anyone like someone once did...) then you should definitely read more.

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Tips:
Same as Chapter 1.

Overhaul? I guess, if this review is to be meaningful:

Darkness wrote:I woke up. There were hundred of people in cells filling with gray liquid. I was one of them. I panicked. "Help!" I started to scream over the iron bars. No one could hear me. As the gray liquid filled my cell, I lost consciousness. I started to dream.

There was God and those hundreds of people I was in the room with. God was sitting on the big chair and I was standing in row of people. God was sorting me and those hunderds of people into 2 groups. One group went to door on the right and the second group went to left. God told me to go to the door on the right but...

And I will write no more. .

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Anyway, there you go. Mind your punctuation and content. Hero out.

really thanks for review i will try to make next chapter better
and english is not my first language.