~I heard it again - another gun shot, cracking in the still autumn night~
Ma and Daddy are drunk, their still, lifeless bodies lay strung across the floor, Daddy's arm dangling on the couch. I am scared. I know - this is silly. Your not supposed to be afraid at thirteen, but I am. I am afraid. The house in cold being this far under, I shiver. I wish I had something to keep me warm. I wish. It's been thirteen years and I am cold and afraid and I want someone to hold. Not for the first time.
The shots keep going off, the feet climbing and rushing past the barred windows which just touch the sidewalk. Someone yells from across the hallway. I slip to the door and press my back against the cold steel bars. Daddy called them Caliber Protection. He says sometimes they take it too far. He just wants to protect his little girl. But am I safe, cold and tired and afraid, all alone, while Daddy and Ma sleep of their drunken fits? Ma says the drink is just another element of life. She says if I'm afraid, just ask god to hold me.
I kneel down in my fear and hold tight onto the bars of the door. I say "God, don't let them get me. I'm afraid and I need protection. I need someone to hold. Please god. Save me."
Through the back windows I can see the stars, glinting in the faraway sky. No one can touch the sky. It is magic. It only exists because it does. Because we believe. The sky is just another element.
A small, silver tear rolls down my face and into my palm. I watch it until it is nothing. Until it becomes dry and nonexistent. The shots keep going off. The voices are coming closer to the door. Something hard and strong slams against the bars outside the door. Bang. Snap. Screaming. Thuds.
I'm shaking hard now, so much that my vision blurs. Daddy groans and rolls over. Ma is still.
"Daddy?," I say. "I need you. Please." But his body is still.
The male voices outside the door are getting stronger. Slurred. The shots are more frequent now and the clashing against the door is repeating itself.
I hang onto the bars harder, awaiting the next shot. It doesn't come. Silence fills in my fear. I wait another few minutes until the shaking subsides and the gunshots have fully subsided. Slowly, I open the first set of bars and peek through. Dust hangs in the air. The ring of the bullets still sings.
"Please god let it be over." Please god, let it be over. I see it then. The body. Blood lies in pools around his head, which is blue from lack of oxygen. His eyes are open, wide with his last suction of fear.
~I have been living in the projects for thirteen years. I have never seen anything like that.~
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