Kept my attention until the very end, which is a rare thing. I'm not totally sure I like your style, but that's obviously a personal thing, because you're writing is good. It does actually sound like someone is talking to the reader, which is ually the best thing in first-person narratives. However, although it kept my attention, I think some of the events within the story were a little bit boring and nothing was there to relate to or think over. This passage seemed a little...pointless. Again though, that might be just me. Good job nonetheless.
Nate wrote:And if YWS ever does become a company, Jack will be the President of European Operations. In fact, I'm just going to call him that anyways.
Another good story . But filled with lots of typos.
I don't know if you already do this, but I find the best way to catch typos is to print the piece of, and then run through it a couple of times (marking down all the mistakes you notice with a pen).
EDIT: Oh yah, and I voted 'yes'. It sounds like a person with autism.
Actually what I have is very different from autism. I was very self-absorbed, but turned inward because of bad experiences, bullying and people reacting badly to unusual things I did. I chose not to interact and eventually forgot how. People with autism are born that way. If anything, I was hyper-aware of my reality, but it got obscured by fear, a very active imagination, and a negative attitude. I also never had too many language problems beyond learning to read a little slowly. If you were to give a name to my problem, it would be social anxiety disorder.
PS: This novel is what I call an "almost memoir," so this story actually did happen to me.
Please, sit down before you fall down.
Belloq, "Raiders of the Lost Ark"
. But filled with lots of typos.
Gender:
Points: 890
Reviews: 685