Young Writers Society

we need a Horror Forum. This is the first part of a little thing i thought up. Second part coming soon. I hope.

The Truth About Furby
Pt. 1

“Debbie. Come on sweetie, wake up. It’s Christmas.” The little girl opened her small brown eyes to see her mothers face smiling at her. She jumped out of bed and ran for living room. Her father and older sister were already awake and waiting. She looked up at the large tree decorated in glass balls, sparkling lights, and beautiful golden angel on top. The many, colorfully wrapped, presents sat under the tree. Debbie plopped on the floor near the tree.

“Pick one,” said Debbie’s father. She grabbed the medium sized octagon shaped box wrapped in shiny paper. Her sister, Susan, took a thick rectangular present her newly manicured hands. “Okay girls. Dig in.”

Debbie ripped through the wrapping paper as fast as her little fingernails would rip. Susan took her time while their father had the camcorder on them. Debbie’s eyes grew larger as she realized what she had just unwrapped. Through the plastic window she saw the large bat-like ears, a small yellow beck for a mouth, a furry brown coat, and white tummy. Big blue eyes looked up at her, unmoving.

“AHHHH!!!!!!!” screamed Debbie, “It’s a Furby. AHHHHH!!!!!! Santa got me what I asked for!” Her father took his eye away from the camcorder. He looked at Her mother.

“Uh….Carol. Can I talk to you in the bedroom.” The girls continued to open presents. Debbie had already moved on to the Barbie doll while Susan opened a new dress. “Did you get that for her” He asked when they were in private.

“No, Dan. I though you did. It wasn’t under there last night.”

“Then where did it come from?” A slight knock made Dan jump. He opened the door to Susan. “We’re talking right now.”

“I got it,” said Susan with a careless swish of her blonde hair. “I knew she wanted it and you guys couldn’t find it so I pulled a string at Target with one of my friends and got it.”

“Really,” said Carol, “So the teenager cares about her little sister,” she said in a sweet baby voice.

“Ugh,” her face contorted to a look of disgust, “Bite me.” She walked back to living room.

“We love you too.”

“Whatever.” Debbie had opened all of her presents. He fingers red, out of breath, and a few paper cuts. She had Furby, batteries, Barbies, and the newest addition to the Barbie collection…..Like Barbie’s Totally Hot Sorority House. When you pressed the button Barbie said many wonderful phrases for little girls like ‘I don’t need college. I’m beautiful’ and ‘Ken put your toga back on’ and my personal favorite ‘Like Oh ma gosh, I just found a split end. Hair emergency call my hair dresser!’

Batteries were in Furby before anyone realized what had happened. Its eyes blinked with a whir of gears. “Me Lulu,” said the Furby happily.

“I’m Debbie. Nice to meet you Lulu.”

“Walo Coco.”

“Huh.”

“You have to teach it English,” said Susan, “There should be a little book that tells what all his words mean.” Debbie pressed the button under Lulu’s tummy.

“A ha ha,” said Lulu’s machine like voice. “That tickles.”

“So cute!” cried Debbie, “I just love him.”

“Make sure he doesn’t go to the bathroom on the carpet,” said Dan. Carol gave him a stern look like ‘she’s a little girl and will believe you.’

“It uses the bathroom….I have to get newspapers!” She grabbed up all of her new toys and ran to her room.

“Ah. Loud noise,” said Lulu down the hall.

Hey this is great so far i never like furbies. I was worries though you do the same out that Simpson Epidesoe about Funzo. Intresting though intresting...

This sounds very interesting. I can't wait to read the second part. be sure to put the unstoppable, except for taking out the batteries, talking.

Lol, Furby's scare me, but I like this so far, I cannot wait for part two

“AHHHH!!!!!!!” screamed Debbie, “It’s a Furby. AHHHHH!!!!!! Santa got me what I asked for!” Her father took his eye away from the camcorder. He looked at Her mother.

Screaming gives the impression that Debbie is horrified of the Furby, not thrilled.

“Pick one,” said Debbie’s father. She grabbed the medium sized octagon shaped box wrapped in shiny paper. Her sister, Susan, took a thick rectangular present her newly manicured hands. “Okay girls. Dig in.”

There is probably no need to specify that Susan's present is rectangular. Its repetitive. In fact, may may consider not even mentioning the dress, as its unecessarily. Just talk about the nails tearing wrapping paper, and that should be enough.

Interesting stuff. I anticipate the horror to come. My suggestion, for the future parts, is to be as original as you can. The toy gone evil bit is used a lot, so come up with some innovations. The fact that Furbies are so ridiculous in the first place may help. Good luck!

Horror forum? How about the Dark Elite UG?

But about the story, I'm a little sad. I kept thinking you were gunna have a furby killing spree. Where the fury little creature ate a whole family.

Anyways, it was nice.

I'd recommend more death though. More homicide on the furby's behalf.

That'd be great.

I want a Horror Forum as well, twould be cool. I dont know what the Dark Elite is...not sure if I like the name either.

Critique pending.

I thought the dark elite was mre towards fantasy. I mean a true Horror Literary forum. ya know somethig like "For tales that make blood boil, spines shatter, and the uege to run from the room screaming post here. Mwuhahahahaha!" Any way Pt. 2. The Horror begins. (I told my mom about this and she killed me a Barbie hating sicko)

Pt. 2

Debbie took Lulu with her everywhere. A week had gone by and it was all she played with. Barbie’s Sorority house started collecting dust while the little girl went through the house looking for Furby poo.

“Debbie is my best friend,” said Lulu. It made a kissing noise as the gears made it’s beak move.

“You are my best friend too Lulu.” She pressed the button under Lulu’s fur on it’s back. The mechanical toy leaned forward and purred.

“Debbie,” came her mother Carol’s voice, “It’s time to go.”

“Okay.” Debbie put Lulu on her nightstand. “I’ll be back Lulu. Take a nap.” Debbie headed for the door.

“Don’t go,” said Lulu.

“It’ll be okay. I’m just going to grandma’s and will be right back.” Debbie left before Lulu spoke again.

“Grandma…” The little blue eyes of Lulu changed to a crimson rage.

* * *

“Debbie, I want you play with some of your other toys when we get home,” said Dan as they drove home from Grandma’s house, “I know you love your Furby but you have a lot of other toys too.”

“Okay dad,” sighed Debbie.

Debbie only had thirty minutes when they got home before her bed time. She ran to her room the moment the front door opened. playtime was precious for her. She unclipped the side of Barbie’s sorority house and opened it.

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” screamed Debbie. Carol ran to her daughters room along with everyone else in the house. In the top room of her new doll house hung the heads of Barbie and Ken. Their faces were covered in red marker. A trail of the red marker lead to their decapitated bodies in the room below. A shinning silver butter knife lie on the floor next to the bed.

A horrifying site to Debbie was an act of rebellion to her parents.

“Debbie!” cried her mother, “I can’t believe you did this. You better hope this red marker comes out.”

“You can’t just tear up your toys because you don’t want to play with them,” said her father.

“But I didn’t” argued Debbie, “They were like that when I opened the house.”

“Don’t lie to us,” said her mother, “You go to bed right now. When you wake up you’ll be cleaning not only your doll house but my house too.”

“But I didn’t,” the little girl started to cry.

“You can’t cry your way out of this one,” said her father. Debbie only cried louder. He picked her up and put her in bed. She kicked and screamed the whole three feet. She continued to cry long after her lights were out. After about an hour she cried herself to sleep.

Lulu’s beady red eyes opened with the sound of gears turning. He looked down on the tear stained little girl.

“Don’t leave me again, Debbie.” The red returned to blue. “Me tired.” The gears turned again and Lulu was asleep.

“Grandma…” The little blue eyes of Lulu changed to a crimson rage.

I don't know whether you were leaning towards horror or humor here, but...the image made me giggle.

That's great. But Barbies? Kill people, or cats, not Barbies!

A good horror story needs to build up. Don't rush me MH. I wanted it to have a funny side too. That's why i'm picking on barbie.

This is getting good Adam can't wait for part three keep it up.