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Go to Heil- The Beginning



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Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:11 am
firewriter says...



Prologue
People have always talked and imagined about mutations and clones of the human race, the great things that could happen- good and bad. There have also been varied ways of this happening. Unfortunately by the time the human race realised there was a problem it was too late to do something about it. Ever since it was discovered the human race has been using antibiotics. Miniscule changes appeared in the human body after about 7 centuries. In 3317 the first ‘human’ was born- a mutation of the human race. The outside looked the same, but their internal organs and systems had changed completely. Ignoring the hasty and continual reports by scientists the first ‘humans’ to be born were considered to be a pure coincidence by the general public. It wasn’t until the first thousand ‘humans’ were born that most people realised they had a start of a problem. Would these beings be able to fit into society? The most obvious and rather correct answer was no. The first ‘humans’ spent their entire lives being peered and exclaimed at, and that started off an inevitable chain of events that started the Human vs. ‘Human’ battles. No one really knows what started the attack but as the ‘humans’ numbers grew and their bodies grew more advanced, it became clear that the humans where fighting a losing battle. Out of the billions of people that joined fighting, a few thousand escaped into the wilderness, scattering to the furthest corners of the earth.
As predicted, the battle for existence was won by the ‘humans’ who gradually-over hundreds of years, settled down into two main groups. These groups lived peacefully together for a long time- working together to decimate the remaining human population. Then in 28798 these two groups split apart as each leader created different ideas and followings. By 28810 there was an entire country slowly pulling in the rest of the world into its fight for leadership. No one knows the true names of the groups but they were known by many different names over the centuries- Reijh and Juike, Swantry and Fretia, Klrom and Quud, but probably most known as The Academy and the Other Side. The group’s leaders changed as well as their best players, but the best known of them all would be Sarah Painter, Darren Lowde and Kristiana Heil from The Academy and Leon Samsone from the Other Side. Their story has become a definitive mark in the history of the human and ‘human’ races.
Chapter 1
Kam Trief dazed off from the veranda of his house, watching his grandchildren deep in conversation with their dad, who was attempting to rid the garden of the last corpses, soothe one of the youngest kids with a scrape on her knee, and have a meaningful conversation with the rest of the horde. Kam chuckled; kids grow up so quickly, you almost forget that some of them- no most of them, have an insatiable curiosity.
“Grampa- Gramps! Can you tell us about Kristiana Heil and The Academy? Please? Dad says you might know about her- please??” The crowd of grandchildren, ranging from five to twelve, ran across the field and onto the veranda where Gramps was sitting. The old man smiled and hushed the excited hoard who collapsed onto the steps, eager to hear. “Well well well, I knew that one day you’d discover and want to hear the true story about Kristiana” He looked into his grandchildren’s faces and laughed, “but I‘m afraid to disappoint you- I am not the person to tell you of the true adventures and mishaps of Kristiana Heil. As old as I am, I still have only heard about her from someone else’s tales.” He glanced down at the now-disappointed children, “but I know someone who does- Mad Mattie.” Immediately all of the children looked less enthusiastic.
Ten minutes later Matilda aka ‘Mad Mattie’ had a crowd of children plus a reassuring Grandad, hastily knocking on her door frame. Matilda was the oldest person in the community and also one of the most frightening- when one of the last raids to the village happened, one of the raiders tried to rob Matilda’s house. She had promptly unhinged her false leg and knocked him unconscious with it. Now any strangers were forewarned about her when they entered the village. Her appearance didn’t help either- it not often you see an elderly lady hobbling down the street with two pistols and at least three spikebs strapped to her waist.
The door slid open and the famous lady hobbled out, “’Morning kids” rasped Matilda, she nodded towards Kam, “Kam Trief arriving with the horde. This could only mean one thing- you little people want to know the true story of Kristiana Heil”. There was a murmur of agreement and shuffle as the children shifted into better positions for the long term.
Matilda smiled and levered herself down onto her front steps. She pulled the two pistols from their holsters and placed them beside her. She looked hard at each of the members of the ‘horde’, “Are you all sure you want to hear this story? It won’t be what you expected.” The eldest child Isabelle looked Matilda in the face, “How do you know what we expect?” Matilda chuckled, “Kristiana Heil’s story is long and has many differences to the stories that you have heard of before. It could take several hours- maybe even days. I just want to know if all of you can listen for that long.”
Each head in the now larger crowd nodded or smiled their commitment. Matilda sighed, stroking her head and made a decision. She cleared her throat and everybody went silent instantly. Matilda started speaking slowly, “Just before I start I need to tell everybody a few things. Even though none of you knew it, five days ago was my 106th birthday,” there was a few gasps of shock through the crowd and Matilda continued, “I’m not getting any younger, and so I think it is time to finish the things I started and tell things that I haven’t told to anyone apart from one particular person, and that was over 80 years ago. Some of these past secrets are buried with Kristiana Heil. Lastly, I think I can now say that this will be the last time that I tell this story to anyone. It is time for the end.”
Matilda looked up into the shocked faces of almost everyone in the village. While she had been talking, some poor person had been sent to knock on doors and tell them to go to Mad Mattie’s house. Matilda quickly scanned the crowd and smiled as she reached Kam Trief and his grandchildren who now had the addition of their parents. She stared at Isabelle unknowingly and started softly telling her last story.
“It all started in the beginning of April 42997, Albine and Polina Hesa were taking their children Matilda and Jennifer to the nearest village like they did every month. I don’t think any of them had any idea of what was going to happen next…..”
Chapter 2
Albine Hesa wandered the streets of the marketing village with his wife and occasionally his daughters. They had only been here around half an hour and Matilda and Jennifer had already made them at home and was playing with the locals. Polina saw them first- playing catch me and dodging through the stalls laughing. Albine gently pushed the hair off her shoulder and smiled wistfully. Polina leant and sadly whispered in his ear, “Watching them now you could almost think that they were Human.” Shadows fell in Albino’s eyes, “If only they were” he sighed. Pauline was just about to retort when a song came pulsing out of the shadows near where they were.
Tears, dew drops and roses
Sliding down, sliding down
The grey lady is dancing now
But the trees stay too still

Wind, sapphires and sunbirds
Sailing free, sailing free
I saw the shadows on your face
Send the trees your beauty

Silk, honey and rainbows
Slide away, slide away
Dreams can show worlds
Take me away with you.

The song ended with a sigh from the people in the market. Both Albine and Polina started wiping away tears; many others were doing the same. Albine turned a the sobbing stall holder, “Who was that? My family and I have been coming here for 7 years and never heard her before.” The stall holder brushed his hair away from his face and wiped his nose, “That? That was who we call the NightSong. She started singing around 3 years ago. She leaves no trace, apart from her songs. She just sang one of the love songs of Soiran and Heather- the ancestors of many in the village.”
The stallholder noticed the confused looks on the couple’s faces, started cleaning up, and explained, “Soiran and Heather were two lovers who lived when humans were in control. Heather was Human and so shunned from everyday life. Soiran fell in love with her intelligence as well as beauty- and Heather loved him back. He was the first and only human to give her any form of affection that wasn’t formed because of her being a ‘mutant’. Once the word of their love was known, the two were both rejected and scorned. It destroyed Soiran’s chances with anyone else or doing anything properly in the world, but he didn’t care.
“There were many attempts to keep the two lovers apart, but none worked. Each time they were separated forcefully, Heather sang her love to Soiran, who on the other side of the town could hear her. They eventually ran away together into the mountains. They built a house and started this village as others came along. Everything in this village was built by either Heather and Soiran or one of the descendants.”
Polina stared into her partners dark emerald eyes and sighed longingly, “I think love lasts forever if that is what you want it to do” she remarked, slipping her hand into Albine’s, “Could you tell us about this NightSong? She sounds like an interesting character. Imagine how much freedom she would have- wandering the shadows, being free to do and say whatever she wants.” She stopped and looked up confused, at the stall holder, “but why would she hide away? Why show the world her voice but not her face?”
The stallholder finished cleaning up and faced the couple, “No one knows. Just a bit of advice, don’t ask too many questions about the NightSong’s identity. No one living here knows anything apart from this- the NightSong is a beautiful but deadly creature.” He turned away, wiping away a tear that was sliding down his cheek. The market place quietened, one villager came and placed his hand over the man’s shoulder.
Albine glanced around the marketplace and was given a consistent look form every villager- Don’t ask him anything else, you’ve taken it too far already. Polina noticed the looks and quietly thanked the stallholder, who was now sobbing into the other man’s chest. One of the crowd gestured them over, “I’m Jon” he whispered, he pointed quickly towards the sobbing man, “Masiec lost his son, Tesuk, to the NightSong one month ago. Tesuk was only 5- he heard the NightSong singing and like many others he went to see who it was. Every other person failed to see the NightSong, but Tesuk didn’t. He ran into the marketplace screaming that he had seen the NightSong. He was so excited, or terrified, that he forgot about the shadows- the NightSong’s haven. The entire village gathered around, including Masiec. Tesuk was just about to reveal the NightSong’s identity when a hand came out of the shadows and pulled him into the shadows. He was thrown out a few seconds later- with his neck broken.”
Polina gasped and looked around for Jennifer and Matilda. Albine pointed them out to her, hiding behind a hay bale. Jon continued, “The body landed directly where Masiec’s stall is now. He placed his stall there the day after it happened- in memory of Tesuk. Jon turned away from the shocked pair and disappeared behind a building.

The NightSong watched the conversation silently from the top of a nearby tree. She smiled and hummed one of her favourite tunes. She still regretted killing Tesuk, but it couldn’t be helped. If he had told everyone who she was then her entire family would be in danger, as her talent, to a professional, is definitely a human trait. Everyone knew what happened to humans- they were either killed or, thrown into the worst part of the city where the highest life rate for a human was about three minutes before they were torn apart by mobs of human hating Humans, or you were eaten by the stray animals.
The NightSong stiffened as a group of hunters walked under her tree, she had learnt how to disable most of the weapons that they held by finding their ‘eye’ a small hole that the weapon can ‘see’ out of. It could disable a weapon for over a week. Even though she could disable them she was still wary, she wasn’t ready for too many weapons yet.
The girl waited until the hunters had gone out of hearing range before she moved again. She looked back at the village- her mother was getting scared. She flipped silently out of the tree and onto the ground. She changed back into the character that the village knew her as.
“Jennifer? We’re going now Jen” Polina raised her voice to echo around the square. Jennifer Hesa walked out of the shadows, “Here I am mum. I couldn’t find the NightSong. I wanted to find her.”
Jennifer ran towards her parents, and jumped into the cart, which was filled with their month’s provisions, “Come on Dad. Let’s go home.” Matilda levered herself inside as Polina and Albine started the cart towards the track back home.
A crowd of people watched them go. Masiec’s eyes followed the family down the road until they were out of sight, “I’m glad she didn’t see the NightSong. That family shouldn’t be faced with that much sadness. They’re not the type of people to handle stuff like that”.

Chapter 3
Matilda watched her younger twin run into the forest. Ever since she could remember, Jennifer had disappeared off into the forest. The first couple of times their parents almost died with fright. Now everyone knew that if Jennifer went off, she would come back- no matter how long it would take or what she would have to face to get back. One time she was gone for almost a week, by the end of the week their parents were getting worried. Matilda smiled at the memory; Jennifer had staggered out of the bushes, covered in scratches and bruises, she had walked up to her parents and said “Dad, I think I’ve broken my leg.”
Matilda chuckled, and picked up her book. She read the first few pages then put it down again. Something wasn’t right- the trees weren’t humming with wind and the animals seemed uncannily quiet. Suddenly she heard a scream from the front of the house, she ran towards the noise.
She turned the corner and stalled at the sight- a squad of soldiers and surprisingly a small boy. At the front near the door was the captain, “Polina Hesa, I hereby charge you and your family for being human.” He spat out the word like poison. Polina was surrounded by people. Matilda stared, unsure what to do. Her hurried thoughts were broken with Polina’s scream of “Mattie find your sister and run! Run!”.
Matilda turned and ran towards the place she last saw her sister, her mother’s screams of plain echoing around the valley they lived in. The last things she felt was the ground speeding under her feet, branches hitting her face and a sudden immense pain in her upper leg.

Jennifer softly crept up near the nesting waterbird, careful not to wake it up. She sat down on a rock, watching its chest rise up and down. She smiled, no one would find her or the bird in here. It was protected by thick vines and trees, with only a few passes through them.
She softly sang her favourite song, Return- about two brothers who were parted when they were little but always found each other, if they really wanted to.
Jennifer slowly stretched out her hand to stroke the bird’s smooth feathers. Suddenly a scream pierced the air startling the waterbird out of sleep. It looked around and then ran off into the forest.
Jennifer heard heavy footsteps running towards her hiding place. She quickly jumped into a hollow tree and peered through a hole. The sound grew louder and closer, Jennifer jumped as Matilda ran across her limited vision gap. A few seconds later three soldiers crashed through the forest after her.
Jennifer stuck her head out of the tree checking if it was safe. She crept out of the tree and scanned the area. She leapt around swiftly on the rocks and logs. Pulling herself up on a branch she launched herself into a tree that hung over the soldiers, who had decided they were lost.
“Slippery little bitch that was. Runs like a bloody quock” panted the only woman in the group, referring to an endangered desert lizard that could run extraordinarily fast. She dropped her weapons and sat down on a mossy rock. The others murmured their agreement and passed around water bottles.
Jennifer silently circled around the group and disabled their weapons. The soldiers settled in for a long wait, so Jennifer finally released the urge to find her sister. She grabbed a thick creeper and pulled herself into the canopy. She risked one last look below her, “I’m coming back for you. You will pay for everything you and your friends have done. No matter where you hide, I will find you and my family will be avenged. And you’re going to feel their pain.”
She swung herself into a nearby tree and disappeared into the shadows. The NightSong’s rage had been sparked. Nobody was safe anymore.
In your golden chain of friendship- consider me a link.
  





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136 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2952
Reviews: 136
Wed Sep 28, 2011 5:34 am
Leahweird says...



I don't think you need the prologue. Everything the reader needs to know is integrated within the story itself. I think it would improve the sense of mystery that is already well utilized. I like the "story within a story" approach you have going on.
It bothers me somewhat that Mad Mattie knew exactly what the family was doing visiting her right away. I don't think it would have been that obvious.
You might want to think of a better name for the 'humans'. I think it might get very confusing later on about what group is what.
There are some typos in their but I'mn not worried about them so much. You have the beggining of a really neat story on your hands. Very dystopian.
  








There’s always a story. It’s all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything’s got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.
— Terry Pratchett