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Chapter 2



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Sat Jun 04, 2011 4:20 pm
RitingFreek says...



Chapter 2



"It's not right," I said, "And you know it."

Denise was brushing my hair and murmuring words of comfort. She knew that when I was upset there was no reasoning with me; you could just listen and wait for me to cool off.

"I know, Betty," Denise said, "But, you know, somebody told me that he was really cute."

By he, Denise meant the bastard that I was supposed to be marrying. I didn't even know the guy, but I already hated him; Anybody who had the nerve to marry me after his parents killed mine - Well, let's just say if I wasn't marrying him for the good of the pack, I would've killed him on the honeymoon.

The honeymoon, I thought, shuddering, God, I'm screwed. Denise, sensing my distress, braided my hair and started painting my toe nails. Nothing like a spa night to cool a girl's nerves.

"And they already had it all planned! I'm officially meeting him tomorrow," I told her, "They couldn't have fixed that up so soon." Denise frowned at this news.

"Well, you know, you never really had a choice in the first place, so I guess they just assumed that you'd want to meet him," she said reasonably, though her brows were still creased in a frown.

"They assumed! That's the problem, Denise," I said, moving my left foot closer to her, "They assumed. I don't even want to be in the same room as that guy, much less have a huge formal dinner with him."

The dinner, in fact, wasn't going to be formal at all. We would just be eating out at a run-down Italian restraunt; Yet, compared to what we ususally ate, I suppose that was formal for us.

"I know, Betty," Denise sighed, "And I'm sorry. I wish that my mom-" she broke off midsentence as Nick walked in looking grave.

"You knew," I said dully as he sat down beside me, "That's why you acted so... strange when Uncle Andrew came to get me. You knew... and you didn't tell me."

Nick averted his eyes but kissed my cheek.

"What?" Denise asked, "How did you know?" The way Denise worded her sentence, I was surprised when Nick didn't act offended.

"I asked her Uncle..." he looked at me, "...for his permission to marry her..."

I stiffened and glanced at Nick, looking at him in wonder. He had... he had been planning to propose?

It wasn't our age that surprised me; I was fifteen and he was sixteen, but those are the ages when most people got married in werewolf packs. No, I was just surprised. I mean, how could he have been planning and I not have known?

"And he told me I couldn't, and I asked why..." Nick trailed off, letting us finish the story in our minds. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly.

He looked so vulnerable, so sad with his probing sea-green eyes. I kissed him quickly, just a peck really, and Denise looked away, embarassed.

"I'm sorry," I said to her, "I guess we're grossing you out, right?"

"Not at all," Denise said, wiping at her eyes, "You're making me tear up. You guys are just... so perfect for eachother. Damn it, mom! Why couldn't you have made me marry the bad-boy hottie from the Alpha Pack?"

I couldn't help it: I laughed. Pretty soon, we were all cracking up, enjoying the short distraction from the looming problem ahead.

"Denise," I said, "I love you. I'm really going to miss you when-" But then I stopped talking, because I was suddenly choked by tears.



A day later, Denise was back in my room, primping me up for my "date" with Dylan, his parents, and Denise's parents.

Denise's parents were, by the way, the Alphas of the Delta Pack, in case you hadn't guessed.

"Denise, I think this is perfectly fine," I lied. I was wearing my extra-holey jeans, the The Magnets shirt Uncle Andrew had gotten me for my fourteenth birthday, and old-school converse.

"No it's not, and you know it," Denise argued. She was trying to convince me to wear something similar to the dress Zero had worn to the Starry Awards this year (I had seen it from a TV in Wallmart).

"I'm not going to wear that thing," I complained, eyeing the dress suspiciously, "I don't want to look like a slutty celebraty who sings songs from the 2020's." Denise ignored me, rolling her eyes. She handed me the dress, a determined look on her face, and I sighed.

"Fine," I said, "But only because I love you to death."

It was silver and gold, skin-tight, long sleeved, had low cleavage and reached mid-thigh.

"That's better," Denise said, "Now you don't look like a 20's emo chick."

"Excuse me," I said, "But The Magnets are very alive and very popular."

Before Denise could argue her point further, Mia stuck her head in my tent.

"Betty," she said, falsely cheerful, "You look great. Ready to go?"

"No!" I wanted to scream, "I'm not ready to go! I'm not ready to get married! I'm not ready for any of this!" Instead I swallowed my pride and nodded.

"Good," Mia said, "Follow me."
:)~sMILEY fACE~(:
Riting Freek
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing- that's why we recommend it daily. -Zig Ziglar
  





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Sun Jun 26, 2011 2:33 pm
VivielTwixt says...



The premise of this story is very interesting. I never read the forced arranged marriage thing done werewolf style. I like the way the story sarts off right in the middle of the conflict. It keeps me reading as I wonder how everything will workout. I had trouble sometimes imagining where Betty because there isn't enough description to ground the reader in the setting. In this chapter I assumed she was in a house, but she could just as easily be an apartment or some werewolf-like place. I understood that the story takes place in the future but I still need a better picture of the world. Are there regular humans? or only werewolves? Do humans and werewolves like together in harmony or are werewolves hiding their identity?

Not grounding the reader in the setting was the only real issue I found in the story. Putting that aside, the plot and characters are engaging enough for me to anticipate chapter three.
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world, there's nothing to it
-Wonka
  





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Sun Jun 26, 2011 10:35 pm
geekchic says...



Hey there. I agree with what the person who commented before me said about the werewolves living in harmony with the humans. There also were a couple small errors I thought I should bring up.
But ,you know, somebody told me that he was really cute."
That comma doesn't need to be there.
Well, let's just say if I wasn't marrying him for the good of the pack, I would've killed him on the honeymoon
well
Forgive me if I was wrong. I really like this though and I want to read more. Great work! :)
-Hope
Books are the ultimate Dumpees: put them down and they'll wait for you forever; pay attention to them and they always love you back.
-John Green (An Abundance of Katherines)
  





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Sat Oct 01, 2011 10:17 am
Shadowwriter1 says...



Bite is a really good story with an interesting mixture. Warewolves and forced marriage is something most people would not think about which tells a reader that you are creative and imaginative. I also think that the actual story is really good but I belive that there could be a little more discription when it came to the hunt and the surrounding area. I can not wait to read the rest, it will be interesting to see where you take this story.
  








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