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Motel 66 (chapter 3)



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Sat Jan 08, 2011 2:15 am
Nightlyowl says...



Chapter 3:

Reni had to think quickly, the black and white was in her peripheral vision now, and the siblings were still on the open road. The tool shed was only a mile and a half, east of Motel 66, but she didn’t know what they’d find going west and when they’d get there. “This way, Tyler,” she made a B-line to an open field. The ground there was marshy and sandy, her feet squished in the mud as she slowed her pace down.

Scanning the area, she trotted farther into the open space. She smiled, grabbed Tyler’s hand, and ran around a dark patch of sand deeper in the plane. “Pretend that you’re tired,” she directed. Reni’s breathing became ragged and she bent at her waist sucking in deep breaths of air. Tyler mimicked his sister. Carefully, Reni peeked at the road from the corner of her eye; the cop car was now turning onto the field. She smiled in contempt and jogged slowly, deeper into the wasteland. The cop car didn’t slow down as it plowed through the sand weeds and right into the dark patch of sand; where it sunk past its wheels. Reni smiled; she had just fallen in love with quicksand.

The cops in the car revved the engine and tried to tear their way out of the sinkhole, but it just made them sink, slowly, deeper into the sand. She knew that that wouldn’t hold them off for long. They’d get out of the car, and if she was lucky, they’d start sinking too; if she was unlucky, they’d call for backup before they got away. They had to get out of there, and fast.

She dragged Tyler back to the road, and together they headed east. It didn’t take long before her, sensitive ears picked up the piercing sound of more sirens. Reni felt like they were being watched, it was more than the feeling she always got when they were being chased. It was as if something, dark, and evil was following them. She shuttered as they got to the city line. Her breathing was becoming strained; it wasn’t the pain and the grueling task of running, it was her mind telling her that something was not as it should be.

From the corner of her eye, Reni saw a figure standing by the side of the road, she stopped dead in her tracks and turned toward it, but it was gone. Clearing her mind with a shake, she caught up with Tyler. A dark shadow with blazing turquoise eyes flickered in front of their path. Her heart rate quickened but as far as she could tell, no one was there and her brother hadn’t seen anything. Reni sighed and dismissed the figure as a mirage caused by the pounding sun and the dreadful heat.
______
They got to the city without getting caught. The sun was high in the sky by now, and the heat was nearly unbearable. Their pace had slowed down as soon as more buildings began dotting the sides of the road. Reni led her brother into the shadowy depths of alleyway after alleyway. The city thickened as they got deeper into the heart. There was no way the cops would find them right away. There were so many buildings around and still they had yet to get to where they were going.

Reni walked down more back streets, each more narrow than the last. Finally, they got to the enclosed lot, there was a small shed sitting at its center. Weeds were growing through the cracks in the concrete, most were knee high and swayed in the humid breeze. There seemed to be more plant life than cement.

The structure was weather worn and made completely of wood. The windows were broken and the door sat ajar on its hinges. Tyler and Reni looked at each other, wondering if they should go in. The sound of sirens made their decision, they jogged toward the building. Inside, the house was no better than its exterior. The whole structure was wood, the walls, and the few pieces of furniture in the rooms. It wasn’t a tool shed but a house. “Look Reni, they have a fireplace, we’re not going to freeze to death!” Tyler ran over to it and smiled back at his sister.

“Be careful Tyler, the floor isn’t as sturdy as it used to be. It’s all wood and rotted…” she looked around. As far as she could see, the house had not been tampered with by any other person, but rats and termites had made this their permanent home. “We should be safe in here… for now at least.”

Tyler was back at her side before she even noticed. Reni was completely out of it, she was over heated from running in the sun, with no food or water. She had to pull herself together; if she couldn’t notice her own brother coming up to her, how was she going to protect him from creatures that didn’t make a sound when they hunted? “Reni, I’m thirsty, do you have any more of the water left?” She nodded and pulled out a water bottle, there was only enough for Tyler.

“Here you go,” he looked at her.

“Are you sure, aren’t you thirsty?” he asked hoarsely.

She shook her head, sending spots across her vision. “No, I’m not thirsty, you drink it. Do you need anything else?” That was a lie, she was as thirsty as he was, but she wanted him to have it.

He nodded as he drank. “I’m kindda hungry…”

Reni sighed. She knew this was going to come up; they hadn’t eaten for almost two days now. She was hungry too, but they couldn’t blow their money on food three times a day. Reaching into her pocket she fingered a five dollar bill, it was the last of the money she had stolen from an unconscious guy in a suit in Reno a month before. “Ok, you stay here… I’ll get us something to eat. You have to stay put though, Chambers is still after us, and so we have to lay low. They’ll be looking for two kids that fit our profile,” Reni sighed and clutched her money in her fist before heading back outside. “Don’t make a fire yet; I’ll do that when I get back. We don’t want to burn down the house now, do we?” He shook his head and Reni left.
______

When Reni walked back from the 7-eleven, she could see that at the end of every block there was a police car. They were looking around and asking questions. They really want us, Reni thought. She had to admit, she was a little scared. She knew what it was like to run from the cops and have them chase her, but that didn’t mean she liked it and that it didn’t scare her.

Reni hated looking over her shoulder every two seconds to make sure she wasn’t being followed. The sun had set some, but her mouth was still dry and she was stumbling around from lack of food and dehydration. Once she was back at the abandoned house, it was like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders, while a new worry was added. Would Tyler be there when she got into the house? Would druggies be sticking needles in him? Was he going to be dead? There was only one way to find out, she walked in.

The house wasn’t all that big; she only had to go down the hall to find Tyler sitting wrapped up in a blanket in a corner. A huge burden was lifted off of Reni’s shoulder as she went over to him. She placed the plastic bag down beside him and took out the food; she had walked all the way across the city to find a cheap place to get it. In the end she was only able to get a sixteen once jar of Jif peanut butter, a loaf of bread and a water bottle. She handed Tyler two pieces of bread, took two for herself and opened the peanut butter. Using their fingers they made their sandwiches.

They shared the bottle of water and Reni promised to find a place to refill them. As they ate Reni taught Tyler how to spell using the dust on the slab of rock near the fireplace. Tyler was smart, but he was probably dumber than the other kids his age. It was because he only had his sister to help him, and she had never been all that great in school.

The sun began to set and the siblings could hear the rain pattering against the roof. It picked up and a soft dripping sound echoed through the abandoned house, as rain leaked through the roof and into the rooms. Reni used the old table in the kitchen as fire wood. She struck a match from the match book, which she had in her backpack, and lit the fire. She looked outside through a hole in the broken window. If the sun can get up each time it falls, then so can I. Reni thought with a smile. As long as that sun keeps shining in the morning, I’ll keep on going.“Can you read the story Reni?” Tyler asked, pulling Reni from her silent vow.

She looked at him and smiled. “You want to hear it again?” he nodded. “Well, all right, go get it.” Tyler dug through their bag and pulled out a copy of The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton. It was a paperback and worn out, but it was their favorite. Reni had gotten in when she was in seventh grade; she had packed it to read on nights when she couldn’t sleep. She had also packed a Dr. Seuss book for Tyler, so she could teach him how to read. He didn’t read it anymore, but sometimes for fun, she’d test him on it and he’d fill in the blanks.

Tyler got bored of the Outsiders every now and then, so she would have to make up a story for him; she always liked The Outsiders though, and was glad he wasn’t tired of hearing it this time around. “When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home…”
______

Darkness… A thin light streaming in through a tiny window… something soft beneath her… Reni opened her eyes, this wasn’t right. There was a table in a corner, she was on a bed, and there was a lamp bolted to the nightstand. An Air Conditioner was rattling under the window… an opened window. What the hell? She thought as she sat up, Reni crept over to the opened window. Outside there was a rusty old playground with swings swaying in the breeze. There was a sign standing up straight right beside them; Motel 66.
Last edited by Nightlyowl on Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:29 am, edited 4 times in total.
~Nightlyowl
  





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Sun Jan 30, 2011 1:17 am
borntobeawriter says...



Oh wow - what in the world?

Ok, well, I've only read chapter one, not the second. But... Because I've only read the first, I clearly remember it, as well as remember her waking up in the middle of the night to see the flickering sign.

You've got me really intrigued now.

“This way Tyler,” she made a B-line to an open field. The ground there was marshy and sandy, her feet squished in the mud as she slowed her pace down
should be a comma between the words in bold.

The structure was weather worn and made completely of wood. The windows were broken and the door sat ajar on its hinges. Tyler and Reni looked at each other, wondering if they should go in. The sound of sirens made their decision, they jogged toward the building. Inside, the house was no better than its exterior. The whole structure was wood, the walls, and the few pieces of furniture in the rooms. It wasn’t a tool shed but a house. “Look Reni, they have a fireplace, we’re not going to freeze to death!” Tyler ran over to it and smiled back at his sister.
ok, first you say it's a shed. Then, a house. Then they act all surprise that it's a house. Huh? You just said it was! haha

If the sun can get up each time it falls, then so can I. Reni thought with a smile. As long as that sun keeps shining in the morning, I’ll keep on going.
Reni thought with a smile shouldn't be in italics.

Ok, that was it for the nitpicks. Although...I'm not sure why they would take the chance to start a fire. If the cops are out scouring the neighbourhood, and the neighbours know the house is abandoned, wouldn't the smoke coming out of the chimney a dead give-away? Unless there's something I misunderstood?

And, well, like I've said: you have me quite intrigued. This story is quite good so far, keep up the great work!

Tanya
  





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Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:09 am
Nightlyowl says...



Thank you so much. I'm glad you kept on reading it. Haha. Yea I'll cleairfy that house/shed thing, when I was writing it I just didn't want to keep saying house house house, and then it souded weird like that so I turned it to what it is now. Haha. Next time I'll try just using house.
~Nightlyowl
  








"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."
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