Four
“Shopping.” Alice looked at me blankly.
“What?”
“After all that, all we’re doing is shopping?” She said, “Why teach me to use the gun at all?”
“It is better to be over-prepared and alive, than under-prepared and dead. You are the resistance now. Every mission is dangerous. If you die, what will become of humanity?” I wanted her to understand now. “They all die.”
She thought about this. “Well, then. Let’s go shopping.”
I considered her for a second, then said, “Get in the tardis.”
“Tardis,” she said, walking toward it, “like that one show? What’s it called...”
I rolled my eyes. “Dr. Who. Long story. Unstable inventor. Do not ask.”
“OK. Now, when you say shopping, you mean stealing. Right?”
“We will go to a little shop I know. Have you ever been to Paris?” I started the ship.
“Paris? Seriously? How glamorous. Man, this really is the life.”
“Do not loose your focus. We are not welcome. Remember, we will be robbing it.” If she got too excited I might not bring her.
She mock frowned. “Got it. Serious. Life and death. Literally shop ‘till ya drop.”
“It is to be hoped that we will not drop, but you never know.” Everyone’s least favorite retardis stopped zumming. “Now, you take the Hawk. I will take the Krikket.”
“Krikket. Really. You know, that looks like a squirt-gun. One of those tiny ones kids get, and then they break after five seconds.”
“The perfect concealed weapon.”
I appraised her. She had green eyes and blond hair. Freckles dotted her nose. Her clothes were stained “You had better wear the trench coat. You are covered in blood.” I gave it to her.
She nodded. “Lets go.”
I opened the door and peeked out. “Coast clear”
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As we stepped out into the sunlight, I asked, “Just curious, what year is it?”
“Nineteen eighty-one, the year François Mittorrand, the first socialist president of France, was elected.” Wow socialists. Got it. “We will go to the grocery store first.”
As we walked into the store I realized I didn’t know any French. “I don’t know any French.” I said.
“Shhh. I do. Go get peanut butter. Food that can be stored.”
As I walked around looking for peanut butter, I heard the following conversation. It took place quietly, Benny was a super cool.
“L s'agit d'un vol qualifié. Elle a une arme à feu,” Benny said, pointing at me. I nodded and smiled. The cashier opened the register. Benny shook her head. “seulement de la nourriture.” The cashier nodded, waiting.
“Combien de fois quelqu'un a volé vous?” Benny asked the cashier, cocking her head. French was a pretty language.
“Nous sommes souvent volés à.” the cashier’s voice was high and musical.
Benny nodded, approving. “Ceci explique pourquoi vous êtes si calme.” The cashier smiled.
I found peanut butter. I started looking for snack bars and stuff.
“Pourquoi n'avez-vous pas porter un masque?” asked the cashier.
“Je ne suis pas inquiet d'être pris.” Benny said, shrugging, “J'ai également enregistré votre vie, et celle de la police, de sorte que vous devez me alimentaire au moins.”
The cashier looked confused. “Vous m'a sauvé la vie?”
Benny shook her head. “Ce n'est pas votre vie, mais la vie de vos grands-parents, sans moi, vous n'aurait pas été né.” I found the snack bars as Benny said, “ Paul et Mary Frances, je sauvé à partir d'un incendie dans ce magasin.” I found I was catching bits of the conversation. Thank-you enhanced intelligence!
“Si tel est le cas, vous êtes très vieux.” she looked awed.
Benny frowned. “ Ou soit que je suis fou.”
The cashier laughed. “Vous n'avez connaître leurs noms, et le feu.” Benny nodded. I brought the food so she could see. “That is correct,” she said to me. To the cashier she said, “Merci, au revoir, fais bien attention à toi.”
When we were out of the store I asked Benny, “Do you think she’ll call the police?”
“No, I do not think so, but let us not take the chance.”
“So, did you really know her grandparents?” I asked.
She nods. “I thought you did not know any French.”
“At the end I started catching bits of the conversation. Plus, ‘grandparents’ is ‘grands-parents’ in French” As we walked down the street, I said, “Where to now?”
“Lunch?” she nodded at a street vendor.
“OK.”
“Deux pâtisseries s’il vous plaît,” she told the vender. He nodded, and said something about money in French.
I smiled. “Il s'agit d'un vol qualifié,”
The man laughed. “Je ne suis pas sur le point d'être volé par deux petites filles.”
I didn’t know what he said, but it sounded rude. I smiled again and pulled out the Hawk. “J'ai un fusil.”
The laugh was extinguished when he saw the gun. “Ici sont vos pâtisseries.”
“Merci.” The smile stayed on my face.
when we left I heard him shouting into the phone Benny had disconnected, “Police? Aidez-moi!”
“This is fun, but I feel bad stealing. I haven’t saved all of humanity yet. I don’t think I can eat this.”
“Next mission we will save someone. I promise.” Benny looked at me. “We might even save someone now, the day is still young. In the meantime you need the protein. You are not yet fully recovered.”
I nodded, taking a bite. It tasted like sawdust in my guilty mouth. “What’s the next shop on the list?”
She looked me up and down. “We need to find you some new clothing.”
“You don’t look so good yourself.” I said, irritated. “That shirt is the color of curdled milk, and the sleeves are missing.”
“Personally, I always thought the color resembled old vanilla pudding,” she said dryly. “We should get clothing that will be camouflaged in with any surrounding, regardless of their fashion sense. The color old vanilla pudding blends in. If you can find another color please inform me, I do not even enjoy pudding.”
Pudding. Right.
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