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Fallen Angels: Aren's Tale Ch. 3



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Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:58 pm
Baywolf says...



Spoiler! :
In this chapter I try to show how the other Angels see Aren and how she is perceived on first glance. I also wanted to involve the Captain more in the story, since I think he is going to be very important as the story progresses. This chapter also gave me a chance to explain by means of the Professor, how Angels are invisible (at least in a basic way) and to introduce the idea of Falling. Let me know what you think: if maybe it's a little too telly or if you like the idea of the Captain having his own view shown. Happy Reading!


Chapter 3: The Captain

Captain Brisneron liked order. He always ate at the same time every day, and followed strict guidelines for everything else. Order worked, order prevented a breakdown in command, and order was what was going to keep people sane in space. It was how things on his ship worked.

He wasn’t old by Angel standards, but was what could be considered past the age of reckless youth. He had a couple Arenstatian decades under his belt, but that was little matter to him. He felt as young as he looked, which was to say, youthful, from all of his trips to Earth.

Although, he felt significantly older when he came face to face with the inadequacies of his passengers and had to deal with them accordingly.

“Ma’am, for the last time, you cannot bring your pet.” An exasperated Second Mate had been trying to explain to one of the passengers—a rather shrill specimen of an Angel with canary yellow hair—that it was against policy to bring pets off planet. “The Trans-Galaxy Edict clearly states—“

He was interrupted by the gruff hand of the Captain on his shoulder. “What seems to be the problem?”

The Second Mate gave a sigh of relief. “She wants to take her bird off planet, Sir.”

The Captain stiffened. “Ma’am, I’m afraid it will not be possible to allow this. I cannot permit any specimens of our planet to infect other systems. Your bird would only be a liability on ship.”

“He’s my only family!” she pleaded. “He won’t be any trou—“

“No. Either you leave the bird behind or you stay on Arenstat with him. Those are your only options.” Captain Brisneron brooked no disorder.

He walked briskly away to the ship, and rubbed a large hand on his throbbing temple. Dealing with the insanity of passengers was not his favorite part of being a ship captain. He lived to fly and he was looking forward to being in air and space once more.

He silently hoped that crazy bird lady would stay on planet. “People and their pets…” he brooded.

The sound of leather on metal brought him back to reality and he realized he had daydreamed his way back on ship. That made him smile and he whistled a small tune from his childhood as he found his way to the main deck. It was almost time to give the final word.

By the time he arrived, there were a number of passengers assembled in a crowd in the middle of the large round chamber. All around the room, the walls were made of thick space glass that wouldn’t shatter under the extreme pressure of space travel. It was the best place for looking at the beauties of the universe.

“Attention everyone!” said Nevero his First Mate as he called to order the chatting crowd. “The Captain would like to say a few words, please listen for your own sakes, you might learn something.”

Nevero waved to the Captain, who then stepped to the front of the room, calling attention to himself. His black hair and eyes coupled with his massive frame made him seem too big for the room and the onlookers could only imagine that his wingspan was large as well. His presence alone demanded their full attention.

“I’m Captain Brisneron and I will be in charge of your safety on this expedition. Space is not safe. Whatever preconceived notions you have are wrong.” The Captain’s voice was harsh and melodic at the same time, a feat that had made him well-respected among his crew. Orders taken from him sounded neither cruel nor weak.

He took a long hard look at the faces staring raptly back at him. One in particular stuck out—green hair and bright green eyes—but he continued with his speech.

“I’m not going to lie just to protect your peace of mind, but know this—whatever I do, I have my reasons. If I tell you to stay in your cabins with the doors sealed—do it. If I say don’t panic—I better not find out any of you ran around screaming. I take my job seriously and if at any time you find fault with how I run things, well then I say too bad. I’ve made this trip hundreds of times. The trip to Earth is a relatively short one, compared to some others, so we can expect to arrive sometime in the next two galactic weeks. The dangers lie in pirates or asteroids or even the appearance of a warp in space. Once we arrive safely, you are no longer my problem, and now I turn the helm over to the Earth expert, Professor Agrist of the Arenstatian University. He can explain the planet far better than I.”

The Captain gratefully stepped off to the side and partially out of sight. He was never comfortable with the pre-flight speeches. The Professor patted the girl with the green eyes once on her arm and stood further to the front in order to speak. Brisneron noticed that she seemed excited that the Professor was going to talk.

“That must be his assistant,” he mused before paying attention the Professor’s speech. Brisneron had heard the speech many times and come to respect the Professor for his candor and knowledge about Earth. Not many Angels were as open-minded as the Professor.

“Ahem, hello fellow travelers…I don’t know the reasons behind your trip to Earth, although I assume it was voluntary.”

This caused a few snickers to be heard in the crowd, but one look from the girl with the green eyes made them quiet down. She had a fiercely proud face that softened once her eyes were once again on the form of Agrist.

“In any case, Earth is a primitive planet. The inhabitants are decidedly backwards in habits and technology, although it has been noted that they do have some sort of societal system and quite recently have developed different forms of government among themselves. It’s really very fascinating. I am sure that it is also common knowledge that we are invisible to humans. They lack a particular ‘sense’ that would allow them to perceive our existence. It was thought that many thousands of Earth years ago that they still had that ‘sense’ and could see us, and that is how they came to believe we are messengers of their God.”

He paused with a laugh and a wave of his hand, and then gave the crowd a speculative look, “But, I do feel I must warn you in much the same manner as the Captain. Earth is dangerous, and not for the reasons you might suspect. There is nothing on Earth that can harm us, but for some reason, Angels have a habit of becoming attached to this weaker species. Now, the research isn’t conclusive, but I have observed many such cases as this, and have found that in all but a few, the Angels have fallen in love with their humans.”

A murmur went through the crowd that grew steadily as the other passengers began to discuss this among themselves, and the Captain could guess most accurately that it was in disbelief of the Professor’s claims.

“Quiet!” the girl with the green eyes called. Her voice was a warning to those laughing at the Professor’s assertions that she would deal harshly with anyone who hassled him. The Captain raised his eyebrows in appreciation.

“Thank you, Ren. Although quite unnecessary, I appreciate the gesture. They have a right to believe me a fool. I thought so at one time as well, but have discovered just how wrong I was to assume I knew everything about how our race functions.”

A man in the crowd raised his hand and asked, “Professor, what exactly are you saying?”

“I’m saying, sir, that too much time spent watching a certain human will greatly increase your chance of Falling for them!”

The girl with the green eyes listened to this with a look of contemplation on her face. The Captain had decided that the time for lessons was over. They needed to begin the take-off sequence.

“Thank you, Professor, for that lesson. I’m sure it will become useful knowledge for many once they are Earth-side.” Captain Brisneron paused to direct the Professor back to his place in the crowd.

“Anytime, dear boy,” replied the smiling Professor.

“Now, if you would all please return to your cabins, we are now ready to leave. The Professor will answer any other questions once we are in flight. I am sure he can be persuaded to give classes on humans and Earth life. You are dismissed.”

The group of passengers scattered to the far reaches of the ship, some went up, and others went down, the smallest group stayed on that level. The Professor and his companion were among the few who had mid-level cabins and they hurried along as well. The First Mate Nevero joined them, striking up a conversation with the girl named Ren. She smiled happily and laughed at something he said. The Professor chortled amicably at the young people and ruffled his hair with one hand absentmindedly.

The Captain watched all of this with interest. There was something about that girl…something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. It was like an itch between his massive wings that he couldn’t scratch. He would find out soon enough. Two weeks in space was more than enough time to get to know someone.
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Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:37 pm
Zekkie876 says...



Interesting, really interesting!
I have read your other two chapters and I must say, thy were amazing! You have a great imagination, and you know how to put it to good use! :)
One thing I am curious about: "It was thought that many thousands of Earth years ago that they still had that ‘sense’ and could see us, and that is how they came to believe we are messengers of their God.”

He paused with a laugh and a wave of his hand, and then gave the crowd a speculative look..."
Is the Professor implying that hAngels are not God's messengers?
Anyways, I'm just curious.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
  





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Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:27 pm
BubbleGirl says...



YAY!!! CHAPTER THREE!!! :)
I enjoyed seeing Aren from another's POV, and I've got to say that Captain Brisneron is wicked cool. I also liked seeing Nev appear again, even if it was for such a short time.
Because the Angels are actually aliens instead of heavenly messengers, I'd been wondering what a 'Fallen' Angel was. I loved your explaination!!! It's perfect, and VERY clever!!!
I can't wait for chapter four!!!
"I didn't lie! I was writing fiction with my mouth!" -Homer Simpson
  





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Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:51 am
Jherek says...



Yo, here's my take on the first 3 chapters.
It's a very pleasant adventure so far, although there is a lack of decriptions, still, due perhaps to the low-tech clerk and the professor, and the class stratification, and the hint of a Titatic-type of attraction between simple deck-boy and blue-blood girl, I'm getting a sort of steam-punk vibe of the Angel civilization.

Underlined are either my comments, usually to do with some restructuring or the need for some strategic description-bursts; stuff I think should be deleted is in bold.
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