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Children of Tokua. Chapter 1. Part 2.



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Fri Dec 11, 2009 2:54 am
Suzuhara says...



Emaizi Bacar drew open heavy emerald drapes to let the sunshine pour into her office. She smiled, absorbing the rays for a moment before walking over to a green marble crib. Her hands reached for her son, picking him up and lightly caressing his forehead with her lips.
“Oh my beautiful Nekolis, I have very important news,” Emaizi told the sleeping face and tapped his nose with her finger. “We will call your big brother so he can know as well, yes?” She moved behind her thin glass desk and pressed a black key. A screen appeared in front of her with the image of her eldest son.
“Yes, mother. Are you in need of something?”
“Daimin, come in here right away.”
“Of course.” He bowed and the screen disappeared from view.
A few moments later, Daimin walked through the tall double doors of Emaizi’s office. He approached his mother and kissed her on both cheeks. Emaizi hardly looked at him, still concentrated on her infant.
“What is it that you wanted to see me about?” Daimin asked in his soft voice.
“Ah, he’s finally awake,” Emaizi exclaimed, ignoring her son’s question. “Good morning, my beautiful darling.” She cooed at her baby for a while and returned him to his crib. Emaizi turned her face away. Her smile disappeared. She turned her eyes up at Daimin.
“They are alive,” she said.
Daimin cleared his throat. “No, they are supposed to be dead.”
“You’ve always wished this to be so, but you’re wrong.” Emaizi sneered. “FAYA has located them.”
“That tokua machine of yours actually found them?”
“All it ever needed was a leak of power,” his mother said, sitting at her desk. She folded her legs. “One little burst. That’s all. But do you know what FAYA found instead? An explosion of energy worthy of destroying planets! Such power could only belong to the Children.”
Daimin sighed, crossing his arms. “And where are they?”
“The location is in an unregistered solar system, but FAYA has uncovered the Dousa files on all human sectors.” Emaizi opened several files on her spherical computer and dragged the holographic documents up to the air with her fingers. “It seems our dear friends don’t want anyone else knowing their little secret. They have discovered a planet which they call Tubron Sector 51. It says here, however, that the natives call it Earth. This is where the children are.”
“And what do you want me to do?” Daimin lowered his head in anticipation.
Emaizi tightened her lips, leaning back into her chair. “You will do nothing.” She tapped a yellow key on her desk. A communication line opened. “Elora, come in here and take Nekolis. I want you to give him a bath.”
“Yes, Mistress Bacar. I’m on my way,” the young voice on the opposite line said.
“What do you mean that I will do nothing?” Daimin asked. He stepped closer to his mother.
“I gave you your chance last time and you failed.” Emaizi lifted her chin. “By the way, how are your scars? Have they disappeared yet?”
Daimin touched the back of his left shoulder. “No. Your punishment had been too severe…but I deserved it.”
Emaizi slapped her desk. “That’s right, you did! I will never understand how you failed to assassinate three babies. Babies, Daimin! Insignificant little powerless monsters. Even if the Dousa were somewhat responsible for your botched mission, it’s no excuse for such inconceivable failure.”
Interrupting the conversation, Elora entered the room and scurried to the crib.
“Make sure he doesn’t cry. You know how much I hate it when Nekolis cries,” Emaizi told the short woman.
The servant nodded her head, bowing deeply. “Yes mistress Bacar, I will try my best.”
“No, sweetie, you will do your best.”
Elora swallowed and nodded. She took the baby away.
Emaizi rolled her eyes and patted several keys on her desk. A screen spewed out from the ceiling, floating between her and her son. “Now, Daimin, here are your orders. I want you to send scouts as soon as possible to this Earth. Have them stay there for a month to gather data. Once they have completed their time, you will give their information to the youngest and—”
“Vicuna?” Daimin asked while transferring the orders to his computer palm. “Allow me to advise you, mother. I would not give her this task.”
“Nonsense. That girl has been begging for attention and it’s about time she proved herself to me. Tell her that she must kill the children at all costs. They cannot be allowed—”
“I know. They cannot be allowed to reach the age of twenty,” he said and returned his com-palm to his trench coat’s pocket.
Emaizi folded her hands below her chin. “No more interruptions, dear. It annoys me. Yes, as you said, they cannot be allowed to live to twenty. The thought of such a thing happening frightens even me. I swear; we do everyone a favor by ridding the universe of those monsters. I can’t believe those things were allowed to come into existence.”
“The Dousa were desperate,” Daimin told her.
“It makes no difference,” Emazi spat. “Now that I know they live, my mind will have no peace until Vicuna brings me their heads, hearts, liver…anything to show that they are dead. Those children must die.”
“Of course, I will start right away.”
A baby’s cry sounded from the room next door. Emaizi sighed.
“Why is it that none of these nannies can do their tasks right?” She pressed a key to contact her servant. “Elora, tell Avei to take over for you. Once she has arrived, I want you to come in here.”
“Yes, mistress Bacar. Right away.”
“I will be leaving then,” her son said.
Emaizi gestured her hand to the door. “Yes, hurry. The sooner you act the better. Remember, no more failures, Daimin. You know how much I hate failure.”
“Yes, I feel it every day,” he said. “Do not worry. Aside from organizing the scouts, all I am doing is giving Vicuna your orders. I doubt I could fail at that when I always succeed in subjugating human sectors in your name.”
“True, but you will deliver the message to her with…kindness.” Emaizi softened her voice at the last word.
“I am always kind to my brothers and sisters.”
His mother smiled instead of agreeing with him. “Go on, dear.”
Daimin bowed and just as he was about to leave, Elora entered the room. The servant dared not look at his face and with good reason, Emaizi thought. One peek and he would take her life. Emaizi felt satisfied that Daimin did not kill the woman she planned to torture and execute.
Last edited by Suzuhara on Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:31 pm, edited 3 times in total.
With tears in my eyes and blood in my hands, I pull through and conquer my fears. ~Zackaria Kato

Please check out my blog: sammysuzuhara.blogspot.com
  





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Sat Dec 12, 2009 5:25 pm
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narniafreak12 says...



Hi! Okay, this was pretty good. I just don’t really know who these people are, I mean I guess they are against the three girls from the beginning. Also, the “futuristic” gadgets and things were pretty cool.
He approached his mother and kissed her on both cheeks, making sure not to smother his baby brother

I don’t think just because he kissed his mother, he would smother the baby. It’s not like his whole body is covering up the baby.
“Yes, mistress Bacar. I’m on my way,”

“mistress” might need to be capitalized, I’m not positive though, but if that’s her name for Elora, then I think it should be.

Your punishment had been too severe…. but I deserved it

If you have the ellipse then you don’t need another period after it, if the “but I deserved it” part is still the same sentence.

One peek and he would snatch her life away. Emaizi felt satisfied that Daimin did not kill the woman she planned to torture and execute.

Okay, so does Daimin have some sort of power to "snatch" people's lives away? It wasn't really clear, unless you plan on explaining it later. Also, this part really got to me. It gives me the feel of Emaizi's power. Good job!

I hope to read more soon, so when you get the other parts up please PM. =D

-Narniafreak!
  





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Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:30 pm
Suzuhara says...



Thanks for reading Narniafreak! Daimin has multiple powers, but I plan to reveal them later on like you thought. Oh, and these people are the antagonists. I'll be sure to let you know when I post the chapter two! Thanks again!
With tears in my eyes and blood in my hands, I pull through and conquer my fears. ~Zackaria Kato

Please check out my blog: sammysuzuhara.blogspot.com
  





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Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:18 am
napalmerski says...



Yo,
so... the plot thickens :D
I mighty matriarch somewhere far away pulling string to get three babies killed before they reach twenty. The matrirch is fond of torture and tries to do very important things without leaving the boundaries of the family. Super. There is aparently a struggle going on between at least two 'forces', which are represented by humans. Humanoids? Hehe
Anyway, the style is still adequate, including the descritption of the lavish place of the matriarch.
...But really torture and kill the nanny? If the nanny knew what was a stake, she would perhaps be giving out a slightly differene aura...
she got a dazed impression of a whirling chaos in which steel flashed and hacked, arms tossed, snarling faces appeared and vanished, and straining bodies collided, rebounded, locked and mingled in a devil's dance of madness.
Robert Howard
  





User avatar
28 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 3325
Reviews: 28
Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:11 pm
Suzuhara says...



Thanks again for reading Napal! Hmmm...now that I'm thinking about it, the nanny would have to show more of a reaction, like beg for her life or something. I'll go back and see how I can improve that bit.
With tears in my eyes and blood in my hands, I pull through and conquer my fears. ~Zackaria Kato

Please check out my blog: sammysuzuhara.blogspot.com
  








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