“It’s not easy being me!” I shouted, tears rolling down my cheeks, “You’re not the one who everyone thinks is perfect and always right. You’re not the one pretending everything’s always okay! Even when it’s not…” I trailed off
“Don’t be like that,” Luke started, but I interrupted.
“That’s it! I just don’t want to be the person everyone expects me to be anymore.” I crumbled to the ground, hugging my knees. There was so very little to stop me from rocking back and forth and slowly losing my mind in the process. He crouched down beside me and brushed my auburn hair out of my face, thick strands of it had stuck together with tears.
“Unlike a lot of people, I’ll accept that, okay? Catlin? Come on, look at me,” I glanced up at his face meeting his big brown eyes in the process. He had such pretty eyes, so soft and kind, always kind. He’d cut his dark hair short in recent years but it was still long enough to be vaguely curly. I couldn’t help but smile. “There we go, there’s that smile. Even if it is sad.” He kissed me then. Something so completely random that I was taken by the moment. It wasn’t a deep intimate kiss, it was simple, it was something to show that he cared. “We’re all allowed to be happy, even the heroes, I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘kay?” Was all he said before he left. I was left crying on my bedroom floor.
I got a text that evening:
Hey,
I hope you’re in a better mood than earlier
Have you seen the news at all recently? Luke x
I couldn’t understand it at first. Was there a hidden meaning? Or had he just forgotten that I don’t pay any attention to the news? Still confused I flicked on the T.V., and turned to the local news channel. “Local boy becomes local hero: One Luke James, aged only eighteen, stopped a bank robbery before it even started. Whilst cashing in his first pay check, Luke turned around into the face of an armed robber with hand on the trigger. Going on what was claimed to be a flight or fight moment, Luke kicked at the robber causing him to drop the gun which his was holding and collapse in reported pain. Luke was then said to have mounted the robber, trapping his arms behind his back. The police were then called, resolving the situation quickly.”
My god! Were the first and only words that sprung to mind. I grabbed my phone from my bed stand and practically attacked speed dial, hoping I’d hit the right button I pressed the speaker against my ear.
“Hello?” I could hear the smugness in his voice
“What the hell Luke?!” I couldn’t help the worry I felt for him slip into my voice. We’d known one another forever now and we might as well be bound by blood we’re that close. Although at times it feels as if we’re from completely different universes, never mind worlds.
“Hey, calm down. I’m okay, I can’t say the same for the bad guy, but the important thing is that I’m okay. Okay? Catlin, I can’t see you nodding through the phone,” He was still the arrogant and annoying person he usually was. I sighed in relief that he was still himself and okay.
“Sorry. Yeah, I just… I just worry about you, ‘kay? I don’t want to see you get hurt, that’s all,” Plonking myself on my bed, I sank back into the cushions with the phone still pressed against my ear.
“Tell you what, sleep over. Tell what’s her face that you’re off out to stay round mine tonight. Sound good? Hell, I’ll even cook, and you know how bad I am,” I forced a smile. He was right in saying that he was a bad cook, although he missed out the part where he burns everything he puts anywhere near a pan.
“By ‘what’s her face’ do you mean my sister? And I’d love to come over, just let me cook. Make sure you actually have food in though, I don’t want what happened last time to happen again,” I hung up as he was saying okay. Stuffing the mobile in my back pocket I began stuffing my overnight bag with a nighty, toothbrush, toothpaste and underwear. My jeans and T-shirt were clean on so they were good for another day or so. I got to the front door then turned back, digging through the kitchen draw for the notepad my sister and I keep there and wrote a quick and hardly legible message. Once written I left to go to Luke’s house, a thirty minute walk if you followed the streets but I knew a few short cuts, which meant that the journey only took about fifteen minutes. When I reached his house I simply let myself in, he never locked his door.
We had a good time that night: I’d managed to conjure something to eat from the scraps in his cupboards, and we just talked and chatted as we always did. The people at school always called us the most strange of people, that we seem like brother and sister yet act like a couple. I helped him make the couch in his room into a bed, and while I sent him to go lock up downstairs I changed into my nighty and clambered into his bed. Luke always hated other people even looking at his bed, never mind touching or sleeping in it. I’d fallen asleep by the time he got back, and was awoken by him sitting on top of me.
“You know I hate it,” He said, a look of seriousness on his face only broken by the upturned corners of his mouth.
“Yes, but as a guest I feel as if I should have the best bed, like in Shakespearian times,” I smiled back at him. There was a playful glint in his eyes as he pouted at me.
“B-but it’s my bed,” He looked so cute like that, all doe eyed and innocent.
“How about… we share?” I mimicked his look of foe innocence,
“Okay!” He practically shouted and clambered under the covers with me.
Waking up in the morning in another room always disorientates me, but waking up to someone lied next to you with his arms almost binding you together is far more disorientating. As thoughts and memories drifted back to me from last night, I remembered where I was and who was acting like a leach beside me. Smiling I tried to unwind myself from the tangled mess of bed sheets and Luke while desperately hoping that I didn’t wake him up in the process. Finally free, after almost half an hour of work, I saw that Luke had starfished across the bed as soon as I’d moved. Glad he was still alive and breathing; I turned and dressed double checking that I still had money tucked in my jeans. Running to the corner shop I counted how much I had: £3. Enough for half a dozen eggs. Once back I was immediately in the kitchen with radio on creating scrambled egg on toast. I was too absorbed in my work to notice footsteps on the stairs or the door to the kitchen opening behind me, I only noticed his presence when he balanced his chin on my shoulder.
“What you doin’?” He said right next to my ear,
“Trying to make breakfast in bed for a starfish,” I smiled, constantly stirring so that the eggs wouldn’t burn.
“Starfish? Oh, wait my song! It’s my song!” My brow creased as Luke pulled away murmuring something about ‘where’s the damn volume knob?’ then I realised what he was doing when the radio began blaring. Luke came back singing along to the song he loved so much: Superman by Five For Fighting.
“I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naïve, I'm just out to find, The better part of me…” He was an annoyingly good singer, I mean he can’t look like that and sing too. It’s just not fair. Moving the pan off the heat and staring to dish up the eggs between the slices of toast I joined his singing.
“Wish that I could cry, Fall upon my knees, Find a way to lie, About a home I'll never see,”
“Shhh and let me sing. It may sound absurd, but don't be naïve, Even heroes have the right to bleed, I may be disturbed, but won't you concede, Even heroes have the right to dream, It's not easy to be me,” He turned me to face him, a grin on his face, "Aren't I ace?"
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