“Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out the left side of the plane you can see the aurora borealis shining over Iceland. Quite a sight to behold. Flight update: we have about three hours left. I hope you have enjoyed flying with us. It will be smooth sailing from here on out.”
The captain’s radio cackled off leaving Jackie and I staring out the window. The shining lights were absolutely stunning.
“The blue matches your eyes, Tomas.” Jackie said all of a sudden. She turned back to me again to compare, looking directly in my left eye. “Perfect match.”
“You’re too kind Jackie.” I was never very good at accepting compliments.
The conversation could not match the site we were watching wave across the sky.
As we gradually turned south towards England, the lights faded from view.
“Do you mind if I turn off my light, Tom my boy?” Rich had woken up from beside me. His thick Brooklyn accent held a past that kept him shy. He couldn’t look me in the eye while we talked.
“No problem, Rich. Have a good sleep?” I asked smiling. Jackie turned and faced the large man. He was so gentle for his size. He probably didn’t have the heart to hurt anyone.
“It was wonderful. Hope I didn’t keep you two up snoring like I do. Can get out of hand at times.” Rich set his large brown eyes on me finely. He was being sincere.
My heart softened a little towards him. “No you were quite quiet for most of the way. Say, what are you flying to London for, if I may ask?”
He didn’t answer right away, choosing to look down at his lap instead. His hands roughly rubbed the armrests. “I’m going to get my wife back.” Tears were a little too close to the surface for me to press any further.
I didn’t know what to say.
Jackie reached her hand over from the window seat, grabbing Rich’s. He looked up suddenly, surprised by meeting such a kind stranger. “That’s very noble of you, Rich.”
“Thank you mightily ma’am. I-I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t come home with me. It’s the sun doesn’t shine quite as bright with out her, you know?” Rich’s big eyes turned on me.
“We’ve all felt that way about someone before Rich. She’d be mad not to come back to a man like you.” I said, not having heart to look him in the eyes the whole time.
“It’s her past you see? She was,” He paused wondering if he should tell us what her past entailed, “molested.” He whispered the word quietly. “Excuse me.” He stood up and walked back to the restroom.
I lied back heavily in my seat, Jackie doing the same. That was the last conversation I ever thought I’d have, with that man especially.
“That was heavy stuff. Do I dare ask why you are going to London?” Jackie stared up at me. I was at minimum a half foot taller than her.
“Nothing as tragic as our poor friend there. I’m moving to London because there is someone interested in my there. It is just temporary as of now, but if I like it enough, I may make it my home for good. God knows mom wouldn’t be happy with that move, but I can’t live for someone else right?” I asked the question looking for reassurance. I hate when I do that. It sounds so pitiful. Stacey always said my indecisiveness was the least attractive part of me. Apparently real men know what they want and when they want it.
“Exactly. An author, huh? What’s your book about?” She seemed genuinely interested.
“Well its pretty complicated. It’s the story of a young man who loses his father at a young age and how he copes with it and where he goes next and how to move on and stuff.” I rambled like an idiot.
“Sounds like a very compelling read, Tomas. May I read it sometime?” She was the first person to ever be anywhere close to supportive of my book.
“Of course!” I smiled back at her, “Oh but, why are you going to London?”
“I’m going home of course. Can you not tell by my accent?” She smiled wide once more; surely a stunning smile.
“You know what they say about assuming!” I winked at her jokingly. “So the most important question I may ever ask you, what team do you support?”
“Oh a football man huh? Well it used to be Inter Milan, but now it’s leaning towards Aston Villa.” Now she was the one looking for approval.
“You have got to be kidding me. Another Villa fan on the plane with me? A dream come true!”
“No one likes Villa! You are joking with me right?” She was just as excited as me. “No way, I think you’re just saying that. Who’s your favorite player?”
“Well it was Ashley Young until the blighter got himself transferred to ‘The Reds,’ so now it would have to be Albrighton. I love his mousey hair.”
“Wow you are a fellow Villan.” For the next twenty minutes we planned a trip to Villa Park to watch our favorite team play together.
As our excitement began to ebb away something hit me. “Where’s Rich?” I turned to the back of the plane and saw two stewards talking hushed in a corner together.
“I’m not sure. He couldn’t have gotten far.” Jackie said laughing.
Chuckling I said, “I’m going to go talk to him.”
I walked to the back of the plane.
“Sir, no lines for the restroom. Security reasons.” It was the same German steward from earlier.
“My friend is in there. I need to talk to him.” I knocked on the door.
“Sorry friend, It’s occupied.” Rich’s voice came through the door.
“Sir, I will be forced to take you back to your seat unless you go back now.” I never noticed how large the man was. He was a towering six foot four with a mop of blonde hair. His teeth matched the color.
“Listen. That man,” I said pointing at the restroom, “needs help. He is deeply scarred and I can help him. Please let me.”
The steward’s eyes glistened. “Okay, but make it quick please. Other’s need the restrooms.”
Knocking again, “Rich it’s Tomas. May I come in?”
“I’m in the bathroom Tom my boy. Can’t it wait?” His voice was thick. He must have been crying.
“No Rich, I must speak with you.” The door clicked open after a second and I squished my way into the restroom. “Okay, this is a little awkward. I hadn’t thought about the space.”
Rich chuckled, sniffling back his tears. “What do you need Tomas?”
I sat on the sink. “I wanted to tell you a story, Rich.”
“A story? In the airplane restroom?”
“Yes. I realize now,” I looked around the small pantry sized space, “that it may be a little more difficult than I imagined. However, I did want it to just be you and I. This seems to be the most private place on the plane save the cockpit but with Adolf out there, I don’t think that’ll be possible.” Rich laughed at the German joke. He must have seen him too.
The overhead light flickered as the plane slammed downward. Apparently ‘smooth sailing’ means something different to pilots.
“I normally don’t pry, but I need to know a little more about your wife for me to tell you something as equally painful to me.”
“What do you need to know?” Rich was seated upon the top of the toilet with his feet on the toilet bowl lid.
“Does your wife have problems trusting men because of what happened to her?”
“Absolutely. We did not even become intimate on our wedding night. I had to “earn” her trust more so than the man or piece of scum rather that had attacked her.”
“As I expected. You see my mother was, also, molested as a teenager. Once when she was sixteen and another attempt when she was twenty-three. When she went to her parents to tell them about it the first time, her mother accused her of lying. The man she had claimed to molest her was her dad’s best friend for the last forty years. The second time she didn’t go to anyone.” Rich was intently listening. He hadn’t expected anyone else to have felt the same pain. “Did your wife tell anyone about her experience . . . before you I mean?”
“No. She blamed it on herself for years. She didn’t tell me until I had proposed to her.” Rich looked at his hands. He didn’t like talking about this. “She never has trusted men since that day. It was her best friend that had done it to her.”
“That is exactly what I’m getting at. There must be away to destroy that mistrust for men. Maybe not completely, but at minimum, so you can overcome it as a couple, working together.”
“I will try anything Tom. She’s the only good thing I have left in my life. I lost my job coming to get her because I was supposed to be going to Denver for a business meeting.” Tears were forming in his eyes. He wanted an easy answer that did not exist.
“What did you do for a living?”
“I am or was a book editor and publicist.”
“You’ve got to be joking.”
“Hey it’s an honest and difficult profe…” Rich was angry.
“No. Rich, I’m an author. I need an editor for a publisher in London. I’ll hire you so don’t worry about that.” His ears perked up a little like a dog. His smile returned and his big brown eyes dried slightly. His pride had been obviously hurt by losing his job.
“Thank you Tomas. That’s . . . well that’s kind of you.” He beamed at me for a minute before remembering what we were originally talking about.
“Rich let me tell you about my father. He passed away when I was fourteen years old. I didn’t know him well. But after he died I did everything I could to get to know him. It just so happens that after college he had planned on marrying this woman. Her name was Elise. Elise was deceptively wonderful. She was the kind of drink that comes on like sugar and then turns into a kick in the head . . . anyway one night my father had planned on proposing to her. He had asked her father and everything. He went to her apartment, only a block away from his, to find Elise in bed with another man.”
“That is terrible. I’d give your father a hug if I knew him.”
“My thoughts exactly. However, when my parents got married they knew they each had problems. They each distrusted the other because of what the other sex had done to them. They wasted eighteen years, their words not mine, being upset, blameful, and angry with the other. They were never letting their hearts open to let the other one in.” Tears sprang to my eyes. I hadn’t expected to get emotional. “When I was twelve my father got cancer. It took five reoccurrences of cancer, a family showing their constant love, and humility for my parents to open up to one another. The last two years of my dad’s life were the best of their marriage.”
Rich muttered something. He was tearing up as well. I couldn’t make it out.
“I don’t want that for you and your wife, Rich. I don’t want to hear that you two stayed separated. Now if you can’t help it because she says no and walks out, then you did your best and I accept that and so should you. But tell her my parents’ story. Tell her. It will make a difference. It has on me at least.” I ripped a paper towel out of the metal bin and dried my eyes. “Now where is she in London?”
“At her best friend’s house. Her friend actually is the one who invited me over here. I-I-I am a mess without her. Look at me,” He gestured to where we were, “in a restroom with a former stranger telling me secret personal stories to help me out. I was a marine Tom. A marine! We fell in love through letters during Vietnam. She kept me alive, Tomas. I wish I could tell her how much she means to me.”
“Rich, I have a feeling this trip is the best thing to happen to your marriage. You must tell her what you just told me. She needs to know how much you love her. Go to her. If you need anything, email me here.” I gave him my business card. “It’s hooked up to my phone, so I’ll respond at a moment’s notice. Then we’ll talk about that job, okay?” I shook his hand.
“Thanks Tomas. You’re a good man. I’ve only known you for about five minutes but I can tell.”
“Thanks Rich. Get cleaned up and I’ll see you back at your seats.” I let go of his hand and I squeezed my way out of the lavatory. Adolf was standing outside still.
“Thanks.” I said extending my hand. He shook it firmly.
“I listened at ze door. You are a good man, as he said. Paper thin walls here,” He knocked on the plastic siding.
“One minute!” Rich’s voice rang through the door. He thought someone was trying to get in.
“If you need anything, let me know, Tomas.” He stared down into my eyes. “I am sorry about your father.”
“Thank you, Mr. err . . . what is your name?”
“Joseph. Joseph Giggle.”
“Mr. Giggle, it is a pleasure.” I released his hand and walked back to the nearly empty row. Jackie was there looking anxious.
“Is everything okay Tomas?” Her voice showing her worry, she laid her brown eyes on me. I am a sucker for brown eyes.
“Yeah, I umm. I talked to him. He’s coming back in a second.” She wasn’t satisfied with that answer. She knew there was more to it than I was telling her.
“What did you talk to him about?”
“I told him about my father and mother. It seemed to be very applicable to his situation, and I thought he could use it to his advantage.” Once more I could tell she wanted the full story, but I didn’t have the heart to tell it all over again.
Rich came and sat down a few moments later. Jackie had let me relax for a few minutes without interrogating me. I was extremely grateful.
“Hey, Rich. How are you holding up, hun?” Jackie reached across me and patted his hand again.
“I’m doing much better miss. You have an exceptional boy friend there,” gesturing towards me.
“Oh Tomas? We’re not together. We met just a few minutes before we met you.”
Rich turned and gave me a ‘you’re-my-hero’ look, “You are an extraordinary man Tom!” He was referring to how comfortable Jackie and I had become with one another. “That’s a top level lady right there. You could charm a snake couldn’t you?” He laughed heartily at his own whit. Normally I would call people who laugh at their own jokes, tools, but Rich was anything but a tool. He was too genuine for that.
“Did you hear that? You’re a top class lady!” I said giving Jackie a playful nudge.
“Oh go charm a snake!” She said hitting me again, smiling.
***
My phone vibrated loudly on my wooden nightstand. “Drops of Jupiter” played loudly through my otherwise silent room.
Stacey’s face beamed at me on my phone screen. “Stace? What’s wrong?” I checked the clock; 2:14 a.m.
“Tomas can you come over?” I could tell she had been crying. I figured she had fought with her boyfriend again.
“Yeah I can. Did you and Gregg get in an argument?” I asked putting on shorts.
“No . . . My parents are getting divorced.”
“Oh Stace, I’ll be right there.” She knew that my parents had threatened divorce many times; even going as far as ordering the proper paperwork before deciding to work on their marriage.
I hung up the phone and hurried outside to my car. It was midnight blue Pontiac Bonneville. It wasn’t too fancy but I loved it and its’ amazing stereo system.
A few minutes later I was slipping in Stacey’s back door. “Tomas?” She whispered from the couch.
Her voice echoed in the twenty-plus foot vaulted ceilinged family room. A lovely home by design, but currently ugly by atmosphere. No lights were on. Only the moon shining through the huge circular window, high above us, lit my way.
I snuck onto the couch next to her, putting her head on my lap. “I’m here Stace.”
She lost it. She sat up and put her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest. I held her firmly, doing my best to make sure she felt secure.
It felt like this went on for eternity, but I would do it as long as it takes. Those of us who have watched loved ones cry know that it is one of the worst experiences of a lifetime. I had my fair share of experience with them by now. People were always calling me to talk things over, discuss relationships, or tell me their problems. This time it was different, however. It wasn’t tears over puppy love. It was over a family being broken apart. My family was separated by death. I couldn’t imagine people choosing to be apart, but I had never been in a relationship before. I had no room to judge them.
My phone flickered, 4:25 a.m. when Stacey fell asleep on my lap. I combed my fingers through her hair, until I fell asleep around 5. That night brought us closer together than any other. We had shared secrets, dreams, and fears, but never tears. Tonight we had cried together. Her pain had caused me to remember my own. Those memories have only been able to be buried, not removed.
Sometimes scars never heal.
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