***
The plane bounced along over the turbulence. The rocking side-to-side and sudden jerking motions sent people, luggage and beverages bouncing all over. Jackie’s coke blundered its way onto my lap, jarring me from my bitter thoughts.
“Oh no I’m so sorry, Tomas." She said ringing her call button to get napkins.
"Don't fret Jax. It's not a big deal." I realized what I said too late.
"Jax?" She paused. "My brother called me Jax."
"I-I-I'm sorry Jackie, I didn't mean to call you that. I knew a Jackie, and I always called her Jax. It slipped." I was stammering. It's a rare moment for me but when it happens, you can be sure it is for a reason.
"No, no, no, Tom. That’s not how I meant it. Reminding me of my brother is a wonderful thing. Not something I take lightly either." She looked down at her hands and rubbed her jeans, a little awkwardly. She was starting to get emotional.
"Jackie, I . . ." I started, trying to cover up my fault.
"You rang miss?" The steward had come to our row pushing his large beverage cart. "Sir did you hurt this woman?" He asked, seeing her trying to hide her tears. His voice carried a bite to it that showed the severity of his accusation.
"No, he did not. Do you have napkins? I spilled my drink on his lap, or rather the plane did." Jackie came to the rescue. Her eyes had the slightest shade of red to them, though her voice did not show any of this emotion. It sounded rather frustrated, as if she was upset with her reaction to the mention of her brother.
"I'm sorry sir. It had looked bad. Forgive me." His thick German accent made him sound much more apologetic than his eyes showed. They were still surveying the situation. “Here you are madam,” handing Jackie the napkins.
"Of course. No harm done." I smiled at him. Bowing, ever so slightly, he scooted his cart back to the rear of the plane.
I turned my attention back to Jackie.
“Are you all right?” I asked. I tried sounding as sincere as possible because I really did feel bad for her.
She sniffled back her emotion and smiled up at me. “Yes, Tom. I’ll be okay.” She paused for a minute to readjust her seating position. “Thank you for being patient with me, Tom. I know the last thing people want is to end up sitting next to the hysterical woman on the flight.”
I laughed a little, “Well I wasn’t going to say anything but . . .” She looked up quickly a little hurt, and seeing my wide smile she finally understood the sarcasm.
She slapped my arm and as if nothing happened, we were talking again. I had learned a long time ago that laughter is usually the best medicine.
***
We were going to be late. I had been understandably short with the goodbyes to the parents standing in the doorway. The dance started in an hour and we hadn’t met with our group or had dinner yet. She looked beautiful though. Her hair was so pretty and her long blue gown was stunning.
Doing my best to match, though feeling like a fool, I had on my best suit. I couldn’t afford to rent a tuxedo.
I escorted her out to the car and opened the door for her. Shutting it when she was safely inside, I remember trying to shrug off a horrible thought that kept invading my mind.
We had a mutual friend. For prom that year, she had went with him. It had seemed that he was a better fit for that dance, being a more entertaining, outgoing date. Not to mention, a much better dancer than I was.
For this dance, it was more relaxed, yet more elegant. It wasn’t a bump-and-grind dance. It was an awkward 2-step followed by standing around during fast songs because no one knew how to dance to them appropriately.
Oh I forgot to mention, that at that prom night, that boy had gotten drunk. I had warned her of this. I stayed up all night to make sure she got home okay.
At 3:30 a.m. I snuck out of the house after she had called me in tears asking for a ride. Getting lost, I had to call and get directions from the drunken boy.
I was disappointed, but I didn’t expect anything better from him.
I then took her to a parking lot where I met her best friend and took them both to Stacey’s house. Stacey is the name of the girl I’ve talked about the whole time. She asked to hold my hand. So for the next half hour we held hands.
I guess I read too much into that.
We never held hands again.
I never told her, “I told you so.”
I never blamed her for the long night of no sleep while I sat home lonely. I never told her any of this. I guess it makes it partly my fault as well.
The night I took her to the dance was fun. We laughed and had great pictures taken. I was driving my dad’s, now my brother’s, 350Z. Stacey loved the car. That night we got up to 140 miles per hour. She loved every second of it.
After driving for an hour, we arrived at the after party. It was 1:30 a.m. now.
Stacey felt like being more comfortable and wanted to change. So, she changed in the car. Those who have been in a 350Z know that there is not much room at all.
She took off her dress and was in her bra and panties. She seemed not to think anything of it. She had been in her panties around me before bragging about her butt many months earlier. That moment had seemed awkward. This one seemed like a step in the direction I had hoped our relationship would go. Sex is not what I mean. Being naive as I was, I had hoped this meant that she wanted to show off to me and gain my attention in a different way then friendship alone.
I was wrong.
A lyric by Mumford And Sons sums up what it really was better than any words I can say, “You desired my attention but rejected my affection.”
That night had proved an eventual let down as we had left the party because of an argument that I don’t have time to tell you the specifics of.
The argument had been with a girl that had hurt me worse than anyone by that time and the date she was with. The boy just so happened to be the same drunk boy from prom night with Stacey. I had told Stacey everything about that girl and everything she had done to hurt me.
Leaving around 3 a.m. we went on a walk at a park close to her house. We talked about a lot of things, as only close friends can. Three hours later, as the son began to rise, I took her home.
The memories from that night took a long time to fade in my own mind. However, it seemed that for Stacey, Jackson, and Britney that night never happened.
***
An hour later, Jackie was asleep on my shoulder once more. This time, however, my head was asleep on her head as well. We had both fallen asleep to the rhythmic snoring of the large man, Rich, next to us. It wasn’t loud or overbearing. It was just right.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to start our in-flight movie for you now. We are four hours into our flight with only nine ours to go, now. I hope you have gotten comfy with your neighbors and are gettin’ along just fine. Our movie is family friendly. It is rated PG and it is named Shrek. We hope you enjoy your flight to London and thank you once again for choosing us to fly with.” The pilot’s radio clicked off, and the dozen or more television screens slid down out of the overhead bins.
Jackie had shaken awake when the captain spoke, hitting my jaw. Now that he was done speaking, we were both wide-awake again. “I’m sorry Tomas, I didn’t mean to wake you.” She said between yawns.
“Don’t mention it. Besides it’s already,” I looked down at my watch, “one a.m. in London.” I said sarcastically.
“Oh goodness! I forgot about the time change. What time is it in Los Angeles?” She tried rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes.
“It’s about 3 a.m. Are you okay?” I looked back at her just in time to see her eyes flutter.
“Year darn contacts shifted while I sleep.” She winced.
“Oh! I hate that. Here try this.” I handed her a white bottle that was in my jacket near my feet. “Put a drop in each eye. Or, I can help you if you feel comfortable with that.”
“What is it though?” She smiled awkwardly. I could tell that she was on the fence whether to trust me or not.
“That is a family secret.” I smiled back.
“Oh all right. This bloody well stings enough to try anything. My eyes are practically drowning in tears.” She sniffed and closed her eyes, looking up at the ceiling.
“Okay, it is going to feel cold and then get warm again in a few seconds. That is normal. It will feel weird but you’ll be as good as new in a second.” I raised the dripper above her face but then paused. “Do you trust me?”
Unwaveringly she shifted her weight, took a deep breath and said, “Completely.”
One drop in each eye later, we were watching Shrek on the screen. The blue had given way to gigantic green ogres only matched in size by Jackie’s smile. It was gorgeous; perfect white teeth surrounded by ruby red lips that contrasted her slightly pale skin and black hair. When she turned her head, and her hair followed after, you could just make out a section of dark-purple dyed hair. She was in no stretch of the imagination, stunning.
“I am an OGRE!” I said a little too loudly. “Sorry!” I mouthed to the man behind us along with a little acknowledgement wave.
Jackie laughed even harder. “I can’t believe I’ve never seen Shrek before. It is brilliant. Donkey has extraordinary lines.”
“Wait till you meet Puss!” I said watching the movie. I noticed her staring at me about five seconds too long for a normal look. “It’s an adorable little cat that’s in the movie . . .” I said realizing my perverted blunder.
“Oh!” She said squeezing my arm. Her giggle was delightful. Despite it being dark in the plane, I could still make out her brilliant white teeth in her wide smile.
“And there he is!” Puss in Boots came bounding through the screen, stopping only to show his adorable face to the camera.
“That’s the cutest thing I’ve . . .” A deep blast of thunder silenced the rest of her sentence even through our headphones.
“Ladies and gentlemen it’s going to get bumpy for several minutes. An unexpected storm just south of Greenland has formed. We are going above it as we speak, but turbulence will follow. Please keep your seatbelts fastened and stay seated. We’ll get us out of here into smoother streams as soon as possible. Thank you.”
Lightning lit up the midnight sky while thunder fought to be heard over the roaring turbines of our 747.
Hearing the words bumpy and turbulence had set Jackie on edge. “I am normally like this all the time, but you have kept me distracted. Now with . . .” A jarring shake threw her against me, “THIS, I’m not sure even you can manage that.” She gripped my hand hard as the plane rattled again.
She didn’t seem to notice this however, because she did not let go. I didn’t fight it either.
Her death grip on my hand and the arm rest on the other side was enough to explain her battle with herself to not freak out completely.
“Jackie, look at me.” I said it calmly, level headed. She slowly turned her head, anxiety showing through her normal façade of happiness. “We’re going to be okay.” I took this chance to switch positions of our hands, interweaving our fingers.
She stared in my eyes and I could see the color returning to her hand on the armrest as she loosened the vice. On my hand however, she kept a hold of it firmly. I have to admit I liked this.
“If you think you can, falling asleep is always a failsafe for me on airplanes.” She looked at me knowingly. “Even in turbulence you can sleep if you tell your body to.”
“I will try, I suppose.” She placed her head under mine once more on my shoulder. “Don’t let go of my hand though, Tomas. I want you to be right there when I wake up.”
“Promise.” I said solidly. I knew I didn’t have to promise, but something about this woman was dragging me. Why did I promise?
Solid raindrops poured on the plane for the next few hours as we fought to get above the ever-growing storm. Jackie slept on. I dared not move at the chance of waking her before we were to safer skies.
***
It was said to be the storm of the century in our hometown. As our usual ritual, we were excited to watch the dazzling lighting of the skies. I remember Stacey always said that it was, “God’s night light.” To some storms are intense affairs; scary, ominous and threatening. To us, it was a party. It was an event to be appreciated and viewed.
That night we were feeling spontaneous. It was one of my good days, where my out going personality blossomed, all my jokes were funny and laughed along to, and her smile never left her face. It was one of those days where I was reminded why I loved her as I did.
“Let’s play in it Stace!” I said getting excited.
“Tom, I don’t have any extra clothes.” She said. I knew that didn’t mean no. She was just asking me for permission.
“You can borrow some of mine and just give them back whenever.”
“Well alright. I’m in!” Stacey said, taking my hand as I lifted her on to her feet.
Ten minutes later we were barefooted, in our bare essential clothes running through the rain. The street was flooded above the curb.
“Stacey can I have this dance?” I said stopping in front of her and extending my hand.
“What?” she said puzzled.
I just took her hand, pulled her close and put my arm around her back. We began doing a two-step and then being my quirky self, I lied down in the puddle and floated about five feet down the road. It was more of a stream now. Neither of us had ever seen anything like it.
Thirty minutes later, our clothes were completely soaked to the point of ruin. We ran into the garage where our extra clothes were waiting. We changed on either side of the ping-pong table we had standing vertically in garage, listening to the thunder. It echoed in through the large open garage door. We sat in two lawn chairs watching the rain and talking. It was a wonderful evening that was in full swing.
After we were nearly dried off, we went into the house. I had stoked a fire right before we went outside to frolic in the rain. It was now roaring in the grate.
“Hold on one sec, Stace.” I said, smiling to her.
“Okay, but hurry back!” She hollered as I disappeared down the hallway.
A moment later I appeared carrying four blankets, and six or seven large full body pillows for decorating a bed.
“Want s’mores? I bought your favorite dark chocolate earlier too.” I already knew the answer to this but I had to ask just to see her reaction.
“You. Are. The. BEST!” She said, giving me a big hug. You couldn’t have paid me to take the smile of my face at that point.
Melting chocolate onto roasted marshmallows while cuddling adoringly with the girl of your dreams is in fact heaven. Nothing could ruin that night.
Nothing except her.
After an hour the flash flood had reached a safe level to drive our Explorer through it. The V8 van was enough of a powerhouse to push through the huge puddles as long as we stayed well below the speed limit. It was 1 a.m. I often took her home at these hours because both of our parents were completely clueless.
As she was preparing to get out, she hugged me and said, “Thank you Tommy. This is the best night ever! Oh and I’ll get your clothes back to you soon okay?”
“No hurry. And it was great for me too. I had a lot of fun.” I couldn’t stop smiling. Now that I look back, I probably should’ve controlled that better.
“Oh it gets even better!” Her voice had gotten so shrill that I already knew what she was about to say. “Charley asked me out!”
The smile was gone. “Charley? My buddy Charley?”
“Yeah! We’ve been texting a lot and he had only not asked me out before because he thought you liked me. Since we both know you don’t, I told him you’d be fine with it. So, we’re going out this Friday!” She was so excited that I had to put on a fake smile to match.
“Wait . . . Friday?”
“Yeah what’s wrong?”
“Well I got those Mumford and Sons tickets for their St. Louis show. We’ve been planning on it for a week now remember?” She was clueless to how I felt now.
“Oh Tom . . . dang it. I already told Charley, Friday was excellent. Is, is there anyway we can sell those tickets?” She wrinkled one eye, practically begging with her pout.
“Of course! I mean you have a date! I’ll see what I can do. If not I can always ask someone to go with me.”
“You’d never go to a concert using a ticket you got for me, with someone else would you?” She seemed so hurt by that, as if it was a sin of some kind.
“Of course not! Only joking Stace. But I have to get home. I’ll text you when I’m safe and dry.” I had enough of an emotional rollercoaster for one night.
“Actually, I’m really tired, so I’m going to conk out once I hit the pillow. Thanks for a great night!” With that she was out of the car running up her extremely steep driveway.
I drove home with the radio off.
I never sold those tickets, I had held out hope that she would come to her senses. But hey, that’s only $150 each for front row seats for her favorite band down the drain. I’m sure she would’ve done the same for me, right? That smile from earlier that night, never returned the same again.
Scars, they never heal.
***
Gender:
Points: 605
Reviews: 75