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I Hate Him *4* Part 1



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Tue Dec 28, 2010 1:40 pm
Nike says...



Chapter 4

The November sky was sending down a whole storm of snow. I shut my eyes, trying to protect them from the cold wind.
My feet were getting soaked by the two inches of snow that lay on the gray concrete. The blizzard’s wind was pushing me back. Not only did I have a heavy backpack that could make me fall over any second, I had the wind that pushed against my back.
I slipped on the icy sidewalk with the help of the wind’s force and I landed on my backpack with my butt in the freezing snow.

“Oh my fuck,” I whispered in shock.

I tried to get up but the wind pushed me back down.

“Fuck!” I yelled.

Then I heard a car halt behind me. I was pretty sure that I was on a sidewalk, not on the street. I turned around, still on my butt and I saw a black limousine.

It honked at me but I was on the sidewalk.

“What?” I yelled.

The driver’s window rolled down and I saw Harry’s face.

“Hop in,” he replied.

“Dude, if I can’t get off the ground, how am I going to simply ‘hop in’?” I asked, furiously.

He rolled his eyes and got out of his car. He walked up to me and pulled off my two ton backpack.
I pushed myself up from the icy ground as Harry held my hand. I smiled once I got up. He gave the smile back and we
walked toward the stretched car.

“Thanks,” I said once I hopped onto the leather passenger seat.

“No problem,” he replied, starting the car.

He's seventeen years old, so he has a license.
The heated seats made my frozen body into a burning hot mug of hot chocolate.
He started to drive down my street but passed my big white house.

“Hey, you missed my house” I pointed out.

“I know,” he said simply.

I put on a confused face and waited for an explanation. He just smirked and looked ahead of himself.

“Harry, you are serious about the whole secret agent thing, right?” I asked.

“Spy,”

“Yeah, spy thing.” I corrected.

He looked at me once we stopped at a red light.

“Yes, I’m serious.” He said surly.

His normal attire of converse and T-Shirts had changed to a whole suit. The jacket, leather shoes and ironed pants.
The light changed to green and we passed by the huge red bricked mall next to me.

“Good, because I thought that you really did get drugged.” I admitted with a laugh.

I flipped my long, blonde locks over my shoulder.

He laughed along, “No, I wasn’t drugged.”

“Where are we going anyway?” I asked.

He tapped his finger against the steering wheel and kept on driving without answering my question.

“Harry,” I said sharply.

He kept on tapping. I gave up and stared straight at the road in front of us. I noticed that we were on a highway. Highway I – 51.

“Harry, seriously. We are driving to Chicago!” I recalled.

“I know it’s a surprise, okay?” he finally spoke up.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” I smiled, relieved.

I looked out the window, taking in the plains of Illinois. Some trees were around the area, but not much. Cars passed by us at a speed of seventy miles per hour.
Where is Harry even taking me? This is even weirder than the whole hostage situation.

My phone started to ring and I answered it.

“Hello…?” I asked.

“Where are you Jessa?” my mom yelled over the phone.

“Oh, um, I’m driving to Chicago with Harry,” I replied truly.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” she hesitated, “…Wait, Chicago!? Are you nuts?” she asked, disappointed.

I rolled my eyes and held on tighter to my phone.

“No mom, I’m not nuts, Harry’s the one that’s nuts.” I smiled when I saw Harry’s dimples pop up.

“Well then, can you hand the phone to Harry please?” she asked sternly.

“Mom, there’s no need to…” she cut me off.

“Yes there is Jessa.”

I handed my phone to Harry.

“She wants to talk to you,” I added.

“You know that I can’t talk on the phone when I’m driving, right? It’s illegal.” He finished.

“I’ll put it on speaker then,”

I pressed the speaker button and my mom’s voice was loud. I looked out the windshield as I held the phone right next to
Harry’s face.

“Mrs. Fuller?” he started.

“Yes, Harry?”

“Uhuh,” he murmured.

She cleared her throat and spoke up.

“I trust you, but Chicago is an hour away and it’s dangerous to be there alone,” she explained.

“But I’m not alone,”

I giggled at his dumbness.

“Uh, I know that but you are teenagers. It’s very dangerous especially since you’re a spy, those robbers from the school can…”

Harry cut her off, “Those robbers were some backups that didn’t know how to do anything. They even gave up really fast, not knowing how to do anything. We’re safe.” He explained.

He looked worried though. His brown eyes were filled with fright.

“But there are others, Harry,” my mom fought back.

“Don’t worry Mrs. Fuller, I’ll take care of Jessa,” he comforted her with words.

We stopped at a pay toll but Harry had an Ipass, so we didn’t have to pay. The gate rose up and we drove on.

“I know that you will, you love her. And when you love someone I’ve seen that you care about them so much. But watch out with your emotions.”

I saw Harry’s cheeks grow red.

“Your emotions sometimes over power you overall, you gotta watch out if anybody comes up to you two in Chicago okay? It’s the most dangerous place for you.”

Wait, how does my mom know about this? How does she know Harry’s a spy? And she didn’t even bother to tell me! But, she knew that he… loves me.
Tingles crawled down my spine and I almost dropped my phone. My hands were sweating from the scare. The scare of Harry actually loving me. I know that he loves me, but I didn’t think that it’d be so serious. Other people know about it.
I cleared my throat and felt awkward tension flow between us.

“Harry, are you there?” my mom echoed.

He kept his eyes on the road and ignored her words.

“Harry…?” she sounded worried.

“Harry…?” I repeated.

He stopped the car in front of a building. I didn’t even notice that we were already in the city. Millions of buildings were shaped around us and that made my heart leap. I’ve always loved the city; it made me feel special, big and important.
He took the keys out of the ignition and didn’t get out.

“Are you there? Anybody…?” My mom said through the silence.

Her words hung in the air.

“Mom, I’ve gotta go, we’re safe, bye.” I hung up.

I slid the phone into my pocket and waited for Harry to say something. He just closed his eyes and leaned his head against the head rest. He swiped his hand over his face in stress. Oh no. That’s not a good sign, I’m clearly just guessing here.

“Har…” I didn’t finish my sentence because Harry sat up and faced me.

“I’m pretty sure you’re terrified,” he said.

I simply nodded. His serious face made my throat clog up and tingles ran down my whole body.

“Yes, I do love you. Your mom even knows and she’s right, if someone attacks us, I won’t save myself or anything important to the FBI, I would save you,” he explained with a sigh.

His eyes still held worry and sadness. I couldn’t talk. His gaze made my heart beat a million times faster and my stomach felt as if I were going to throw up. I’m too nervous about everything.
He leaned against the door and waited for me to say something.
I swallowed loudly and tried to unclog my throat.

“Uh,” was all that could come out of my vocal chords.

I was starting to sweat and my mouth felt really dry. He started to jingle his keys.

“That’s all you have to say?”

I looked down at my hands. I truly couldn’t get any noise out. My heart raced as I tried to calm down my stomach, he said he freaking loves me. My mom even knows.

“How does my mom know you’re a spy?” I managed to get out with a cough.

I looked up at his tanned face.

“It’s a long story…” he whispered.

“I’ve got time.” I got more confidence.

He dropped his keys onto his lap and spoke up again, making my heart leap, “Your mom is a secret agent as well,” he finally admitted.

“What!?” I asked, outraged.

Why wouldn’t she tell me something that important!?

“Listen, she didn’t tell you because she didn’t want to mix you into it. I’m in it because I just simply am. Your mom came up to me and handed me a badge. That’s how I became one, but I’m pretty sure it’s because she needed an assistant, one that could withstand danger without any doubt.” He kept on telling me.

“But I have an older brother, why didn’t she just ask him?”

“Because, you can’t have anybody related to work with you or anywhere near you. Too many emotions, it’s bad to work with friends too, so that’s why she chose me.”

I massaged my hands.

“But you are a friend.”

He breathed in deeply and replied, “Yeah, but the FBI thought that since I’m a teenager that I don’t connect with her really well, which was good since I got this job.” He finished.

“Uhuh,” I hummed.

I breathed in deeply and tried to collect all of this. It was way too much. Secret agents? Spies? Secrets…

“Hey, why didn’t she tell me then?” I asked, shocked.

“Because you shouldn’t tell anyone, they can stop you during an important mission, you can only tell your co-workers.”
He replied calmly.

“At least you aren’t a vampire,” I joked.

He laughed along with me.

“Why would you say that?” he asked mid-laugh.

“Because I heard that in the book Twilight, Edward’s secret is that he’s a vampire. You know, my mom hid something, you hid something and you guys aren’t vampires’ just spies.” I explained.

“Yeah thank God, I wouldn’t be happy to be a vampire because then I wouldn’t be able to love you,”

Those words made me stop. My heart raced and I stared into his eyes. Those eyes showed some emotion that I couldn’t read. They were confusing. It was a mix of happiness, worry, and something else. But they made tingles go through me and my stomach flip.

“Hey, Edward loved Bella and from Wizards Juliet loved Justin, it’s possible,” I tried to stop the awkward silence.

He chuckled but the same thing happened again.
The stare made my throat clog up again. I wanted to look away really badly but his eyes pulled me in. It felt like he was a vampire then, those eyes didn’t let me go.

I moved closer to him and he did the same. Our faces were so close that I could smell his minty breath graze against my skin.

My heart leapt up into my throat. His eyes were gazing at mine the whole time.
We closed our eyes and his warm lips lay against mine. Everything in me blew up into happiness and my heart raced even faster. I could feel his hand touch my neck as I did the same. We kept on kissing. It felt great, real, true, wait that’s the same thing. But it felt amazing.
I put my hand in his hair and we were still kissing. I felt him pull me up a little.
Then we stopped. It made me feel a little empty inside that we stopped.
We were still as close as we were before. I couldn’t help but smile. His face grew a smile as well and my heart raced. My stomach flipped. The same sequence I got every time I saw his smile.

“So, why did you take me here?” I still asked with the smile still plastered on my face.

We didn’t move away, not even a millimeter.

“I wanted to take you to a surprise,”

“You said that already,” I reminded him.

He chuckled, “You want to see it?”

I nodded and looked straight into his eyes again. I kissed him by surprise and his warm body pushed against mine. This was just perfect.
I don’t even remember why I hated him anymore.
When we stopped, I repositioned myself in my seat and smiled from ear to ear. He put the keys back into the ignition and started to drive again.

Now I remember; it was ever since we got into middle school. He started to bark at me, not literally, but in a way he made fun of me a lot. When I was sick for a week I came back to school and a huge stupid rumor was spread about me.
It was that: I was a pornographic model and I wasn’t at school because I was doing a cover shoot in a bowling alley. It took about a month until the whole school knew that it was a lie. Another thing that he did was that on the school dance, fall dance to be exact, he spilled the pineapple punch all over me. During the slow dance contest I stood next to my hugest crush Vincent. And Harry’s pals helped him with this. One of them walked up to Vince and distracted us, I laughed it off hoping that he’d leave soon, but he didn’t.

Then he said “Holy!” really loudly which distracted everyone. The whole dance started at us when Harry himself poured the punch all over me secretly. He was behind the table, sitting under it, all he had to do is pull a string and then the punch made everything on me sticky as gum.
I was called, “Sticky Jessie” for the rest of middle school and Vince thought I was a disgusting freak and never even laid
eyes on me.

“Hey, why didn’t you even apologize for those things you did to me?” I asked out loud.

Harry looked at me for a second, confused.

“What did I do?”

“Don’t even do that to me! When you spilled that punch on me during the dance, the pornographic model rumor, the time when you stuffed my lab frog with ketchup to make me believe it was blood, when you told the whole school that my secret admirer was that idiotic nerd David. Why didn’t you?” I asked with huge anger going through my voice.

I could hear him swallow deeply and could see him blink constantly. He’s nervous again.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t say sorry, alright? I did that all because I had a crush on you, people do that because they like the other person, Jessa. And I lied to you, that secret admirer wasn’t David, it was me. I didn’t want the whole school to know.”

“Why not?” I asked out of curiosity.

He sighed and kept on driving.

“Because, we hated each other.” That was pretty all he needed to say actually.

I smiled again and threw the past away. It happened already now we can focus on the future with…

“…each other,” I said out loud.

“Huh,” Harry asked.

“Nothin’,” I obviously lied.

He laughed and I followed along.
Finally while I looked at his lips, the kiss hit me. We actually kissed lips to lips contact. Tongue to tongue. Heart to heart. By when did I even start liking him?
Last edited by Nike on Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“There is no need to call me Sir, Professor.”
  





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Reviews: 45
Tue Dec 28, 2010 5:05 pm
AllieMeadows says...



OMG I love this. This is an amazing story and something any girl can relate to. Thanks for clarifying why Jessa hates Harry. Keep writing.
Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead :o <3
  





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Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:22 am
theotherone says...



Hello there. :)
Not only did I have a heavy backpack that could make me fall over any second, I had the wind making me fall over.
I slipped on the icy sidewalk with the help of the wind’s force and I landed on my backpack with my butt in the freezing snow.

The sentence in bold is a little confusing. Re-phrase it if you can.
I was pretty sure that I was on a sidewalk comma not on the street. I turned around comma still on my butt and I saw a black limousine.

“No problem,” he replied comma starting the car.

Whoa, he's driving the limousine?
His normal attire of converse and T-Shirts had changed to a whole suit.

“Good, because I thought that you really did get drugged.”

I flipped my long comma blonde locks over my shoulder.

I flipped my hair over my shoulder.

Already mentioned that...
I looked out the window comma taking in the plains of Illinois

“But there are others comma Harry,”

I swallowed loudly and tried to unclog my throat.

That’s how I became one, but I’m pretty sure it’s because she needed an assistant, one that could withstand danger without any doubt.”

When we stopped comma I repositioned myself in my seat and smiled from ear to ear.

I think it sounds better like that. :)
“I’m sorry that I didn’t say sorry comma alright? I did that all because I had a crush on you, people do that because they like the other person comma Jessa.

This was good, again. Thanks for clarifying all the "why's" that were going through my head. :) Keep writing!

-Other One
Behind every mask, lies a man that can't live in his own skin. - Woe is Me <3
Need a reviewer? I don't bite, I promise. :) ---> viewtopic.php?f=188&t=76466
  





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Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:50 pm
IcyFlame says...



I'm back again! *cue sighs of dispair and running to hide in corners* ;)
Again, not going to bother with grammatical nitpicks and just going to dive right in.
For starters, although sweraing is acceptable in your story don't overdo it. In general, if there is not a good reason for swearing, why put it in? It will offend some and I have never said, "You know what I really miss in this book, swearing." It's not needed.

Nike wrote:“Dude, if I can’t get off the ground, how am I going to simply ‘hop in’?” I asked, furiously.
While this is a nice sentence, see if you can show her emotions through her words, not simply by placing an adjective at the end.

Nike wrote:“I know it’s a surprise, okay?” he finally spoke up.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” I smiled, relieved.

1) If it's a surprise why would he tell her.
2) How does him saying that relieve her worry at all? Either it wouldn't or we need some explanation.

As for the rest of the piece I liked your explanation but some parts were just unrealistic. It would have been much better if she didn't find out he loved her until later in the book. Unless of course you're planning on her ending up with someone else; that would make it acceptable. I suggest making a mind map for Harry. Draw out his wants, fears, emotions, motives etc and get to know him better. The author should know their characters like the back of their hand and if you do it doesn't come across clearly in this piece of writing. If we're going to like Harry and root for the two of them to be together we need to know why he does things.
  





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Sun Aug 28, 2011 12:09 pm
IcyFlame says...



Nike wrote:Chapter 4

The November sky was sending down a whole storm of snow. You can describe a lot more here if you wanted. I shut my eyes, trying to protect them from the cold wind.
My feet were getting soaked by the two inches of snow that lay on the gray concrete. The blizzard’s wind was pushing me back. Not only did I have a heavy backpack that could make me fall over any second, I had the wind that pushed against my back.
I slipped on the icy sidewalk with the help of the wind’s force and I landed on my backpack with my butt in the freezing snow.

“Oh my fuck,” I whispered in shock.

I tried to get up but the wind pushed me back down.

“Fuck!” I yelled.
Then I heard a car halt behind me. I was pretty sure that I was on a sidewalk, not on the street. I turned around, still on my butt and I saw a black limousine.

It honked at me but I was on the sidewalk.

“What?” I yelled. Watch out for repeats.
The driver’s window rolled down and I saw Harry’s face.

Hop in,” he replied.

“Dude, if I can’t get off the ground, how am I going to simply ‘hop in’?” I asked, furiously.

He rolled his eyes and got out of his car. He walked up to me and pulled off my two ton backpack.
I pushed myself up from the icy ground as Harry held my hand. I smiled once I got up. He gave the smile back and we
walked toward the stretched car.

“Thanks,” I said once I hopped onto the leather passenger seat. Again with the repetition

“No problem,” he replied, starting the car.

He's seventeen years old, so he has a license.
The heated seats made my frozen body into a burning hot mug of hot chocolate.
He started to drive down my street but passed my big white house.

“Hey, you missed my house” I pointed out.

“I know,” he said simply.

I put on a confused face and waited for an explanation. He just smirked and looked ahead of himself.

“Harry, you are serious about the whole secret agent thing, right?” I asked.

“Spy,”

“Yeah, spy thing.” I corrected.

He looked at me once we stopped at a red light.

“Yes, I’m serious.” He said surly.

His normal attire of converse and T-Shirts had changed to a whole suit. The jacket, leather shoes and ironed pants.
The light changed to green and we passed by the huge red bricked mall next to me.

“Good, because I thought that you really did get drugged.” I admitted with a laugh.

I flipped my long, blonde locks over my shoulder.

He laughed along, “No, I wasn’t drugged.”

“Where are we going anyway?” I asked.

He tapped his finger against the steering wheel and kept on driving without answering my question.

“Harry,” I said sharply.

He kept on tapping. I gave up and stared straight at the road in front of us. I noticed that we were on a highway. Highway I – 51.

“Harry, seriously. We are driving to Chicago!” I recalled. Odd word choice
“I know it’s a surprise, okay?” he finally spoke up.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” I smiled, relieved. She's suddenly fine with it? Why?

I looked out the window, taking in the plains of Illinois. Some trees were around the area, but not much. Cars passed by us at a speed of seventy miles per hour.
Where is Harry even taking me? This is even weirder than the whole hostage situation.

My phone started to ring and I answered it.

“Hello…?” I asked.

“Where are you Jessa?” my mom yelled over the phone.

“Oh, um, I’m driving to Chicago with Harry,” I replied truly.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” she hesitated, “…Wait, Chicago!? Are you nuts?” she asked, disappointed. Odd word choice
I rolled my eyes and held on tighter to my phone.

“No mom, I’m not nuts, Harry’s the one that’s nuts.” I smiled when I saw Harry’s dimples pop up.

“Well then, can you hand the phone to Harry please?” she asked sternly.

“Mom, there’s no need to…” she cut me off.

“Yes there is Jessa.”

I handed my phone to Harry.

“She wants to talk to you,” I added.

“You know that I can’t talk on the phone when I’m driving, right? It’s illegal,he finished.

“I’ll put it on speaker then.

I pressed the speaker button and my mom’s voice was loud. I looked out the windshield as I held the phone right next to
Harry’s face.

“Mrs. Fuller?” he started.

“Yes, Harry?”

“Uhuh,” he murmured.

She cleared her throat and spoke up.

“I trust you, but Chicago is an hour away and it’s dangerous to be there alone,” she explained.

“But I’m not alone,”

I giggled at his dumbness. Is that a word?
“Uh, I know that but you are teenagers. It’s very dangerous especially since you’re a spy, those robbers from the school can…”

Harry cut her off, “Those robbers were some backups that didn’t know how to do anything. They even gave up really fast, not knowing how to do anything. We’re safe.” He explained.

He looked worried though. His brown eyes were filled with fright.

“But there are others, Harry,” my mom fought back.

“Don’t worry Mrs. Fuller, I’ll take care of Jessa,” he comforted her with words.

We stopped at a pay toll but Harry had an Ipass, so we didn’t have to pay. The gate rose up and we drove on.

“I know that you will, you love her. And when you love someone I’ve seen that you care about them so much. But watch out with your emotions.”

I saw Harry’s cheeks grow red.

“Your emotions sometimes over power you overall, you gotta watch out if anybody comes up to you two in Chicago okay? It’s the most dangerous place for you.”

Wait, how does my mom know about this? How does she know Harry’s a spy? And she didn’t even bother to tell me! But, she knew that he… loves me.
Tingles crawled down my spine and I almost dropped my phone. My hands were sweating from the scare. The scare of Harry actually loving me. I know that he loves me, but I didn’t think that it’d be so serious. Other people know about it.
I cleared my throat and felt awkward tension flow between us.

“Harry, are you there?” my mom echoed.

He kept his eyes on the road and ignored her words.

“Harry…?” she sounded worried.

“Harry…?” I repeated.

He stopped the car in front of a building. I didn’t even notice that we were already in the city. Millions of buildings were shaped around us and that made my heart leap. I’ve always loved the city; it made me feel special, big and important.
He took the keys out of the ignition and didn’t get out.

“Are you there? Anybody…?” My mom said through the silence.

Her words hung in the air.

“Mom, I’ve gotta go, we’re safe, bye.” I hung up.

I slid the phone into my pocket and waited for Harry to say something. He just closed his eyes and leaned his head against the head rest. He swiped his hand over his face in stress. Oh no. That’s not a good sign, I’m clearly just guessing here.

“Har…” I didn’t finish my sentence because Harry sat up and faced me.

“I’m pretty sure you’re terrified,” he said.

I simply nodded. His serious face made my throat clog up and tingles ran down my whole body.

“Yes, I do love you. Your mom even knows and she’s right, if someone attacks us, I won’t save myself or anything important to the FBI, I would save you,” he explained with a sigh.

His eyes still held worry and sadness. I couldn’t talk. His gaze made my heart beat a million times faster and my stomach felt as if I were going to throw up. I’m too nervous about everything.
He leaned against the door and waited for me to say something.
I swallowed loudly and tried to unclog my throat.

“Uh,” was all that could come out of my vocal chords.

I was starting to sweat and my mouth felt really dry. He started to jingle his keys.

“That’s all you have to say?”

I looked down at my hands. I truly couldn’t get any noise out. My heart raced as I tried to calm down my stomach, he said he freaking loves me. My mom even knows.

“How does my mom know you’re a spy?” I managed to get out with a cough.

I looked up at his tanned face.

“It’s a long story…” he whispered.

“I’ve got time.” I got more confidence.

He dropped his keys onto his lap and spoke up again, making my heart leap, “Your mom is a secret agent as well,” he finally admitted.

“What!?” I asked, outraged.

Why wouldn’t she tell me something that important!?

“Listen, she didn’t tell you because she didn’t want to mix you into it. I’m in it because I just simply am. Your mom came up to me and handed me a badge. That’s how I became one, but I’m pretty sure it’s because she needed an assistant, one that could withstand danger without any doubt.” He kept on telling me.

“But I have an older brother, why didn’t she just ask him?”

“Because, you can’t have anybody related to work with you or anywhere near you. Too many emotions, it’s bad to work with friends too, so that’s why she chose me.”

I massaged my hands.

“But you are a friend.”

He breathed in deeply and replied, “Yeah, but the FBI thought that since I’m a teenager that I don’t connect with her really well, which was good since I got this job.” He finished.

“Uhuh,” I hummed.

I breathed in deeply and tried to collect all of this. It was way too much. Secret agents? Spies? Secrets…

“Hey, why didn’t she tell me then?” I asked, shocked.

“Because you shouldn’t tell anyone, they can stop you during an important mission, you can only tell your co-workers.”
He replied calmly.

“At least you aren’t a vampire,” I joked.

He laughed along with me.

“Why would you say that?” he asked mid-laugh.

“Because I heard that in the book Twilight, Edward’s secret is that he’s a vampire. You know, my mom hid something, you hid something and you guys aren’t vampires’ just spies.” I explained.

“Yeah thank God, I wouldn’t be happy to be a vampire because then I wouldn’t be able to love you,”

Those words made me stop. My heart raced and I stared into his eyes. Those eyes showed some emotion that I couldn’t read. They were confusing. It was a mix of happiness, worry, and something else. But they made tingles go through me and my stomach flip.

“Hey, Edward loved Bella and from Wizards Juliet loved Justin, it’s possible,” I tried to stop the awkward silence.

He chuckled but the same thing happened again.
The stare made my throat clog up again. I wanted to look away really badly but his eyes pulled me in. It felt like he was a vampire then, those eyes didn’t let me go.

I moved closer to him and he did the same. Our faces were so close that I could smell his minty breath graze against my skin.

My heart leapt up into my throat. His eyes were gazing at mine the whole time.
We closed our eyes and his warm lips lay against mine. Everything in me blew up into happiness and my heart raced even faster. I could feel his hand touch my neck as I did the same. We kept on kissing. It felt great, real, true, wait that’s the same thing. But it felt amazing.
I put my hand in his hair and we were still kissing. I felt him pull me up a little.
Then we stopped. It made me feel a little empty inside that we stopped.
We were still as close as we were before. I couldn’t help but smile. His face grew a smile as well and my heart raced. My stomach flipped. The same sequence I got every time I saw his smile.

“So, why did you take me here?” I still asked with the smile still plastered on my face.

We didn’t move away, not even a millimeter.

“I wanted to take you to a surprise,”

“You said that already,” I reminded him.

He chuckled, “You want to see it?”

I nodded and looked straight into his eyes again. I kissed him by surprise and his warm body pushed against mine. This was just perfect.
I don’t even remember why I hated him anymore.
When we stopped, I repositioned myself in my seat and smiled from ear to ear. He put the keys back into the ignition and started to drive again.

Now I remember; it was ever since we got into middle school. He started to bark at me, not literally, but in a way he made fun of me a lot. When I was sick for a week I came back to school and a huge stupid rumor was spread about me.
It was that: I was a pornographic model and I wasn’t at school because I was doing a cover shoot in a bowling alley. It took about a month until the whole school knew that it was a lie. Another thing that he did was that on the school dance, fall dance to be exact, he spilled the pineapple punch all over me. During the slow dance contest I stood next to my hugest crush Vincent. And Harry’s pals helped him with this. One of them walked up to Vince and distracted us, I laughed it off hoping that he’d leave soon, but he didn’t.

Then he said “Holy!” really loudly which distracted everyone. The whole dance started at us when Harry himself poured the punch all over me secretly. He was behind the table, sitting under it, all he had to do is pull a string and then the punch made everything on me sticky as gum.
I was called, “Sticky Jessie” for the rest of middle school and Vince thought I was a disgusting freak and never even laid
eyes on me.

“Hey, why didn’t you even apologize for those things you did to me?” I asked out loud.

Harry looked at me for a second, confused.

“What did I do?”

“Don’t even do that to me! When you spilled that punch on me during the dance, the pornographic model rumor, the time when you stuffed my lab frog with ketchup to make me believe it was blood, when you told the whole school that my secret admirer was that idiotic nerd David. Why didn’t you?” I asked with huge anger going through my voice.

I could hear him swallow deeply and could see him blink constantly. He’s nervous again.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t say sorry, alright? I did that all because I had a crush on you, people do that because they like the other person, Jessa. And I lied to you, that secret admirer wasn’t David, it was me. I didn’t want the whole school to know.”

“Why not?” I asked out of curiosity.

He sighed and kept on driving.

“Because, we hated each other.” That was pretty all he needed to say actually.

I smiled again and threw the past away. It happened already now we can focus on the future with…

“…each other,” I said out loud.

“Huh,” Harry asked.

“Nothin’,” I obviously lied.

He laughed and I followed along.
Finally while I looked at his lips, the kiss hit me. We actually kissed lips to lips contact. Tongue to tongue. Heart to heart. But when did I even start liking him?



My main issue here is that her mum doesn't seem at all concerned that she's going. Try to make her sound more like a parent. And make conversation more natural; let the characters speak through you, don't make them say just what you need them to.
  








I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened of old ones.
— John Cage