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Untitled; Part 2



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Fri May 02, 2008 6:10 pm
chyeahmclovinx3 says...



Part 2

Kaylen's heart jumped when she felt Bridget touch her, she looked over at her curiously, thinking about all the fun times they used to have together. They were complete and total best friends but as much love as they had for each other, there was an equal amount of hate, at least on Kaylen's half.

Bridget raised her eyebrows mischievously, "Let's skip!" she exclaimed, her eyes brightening, "We can go get a pedicure!"

Kaylen found herself nodding. It'll be fun, she convinced herself, I don't have to talk to her. She knew it was silly to go and not talk, but manicures always relaxed her. "Sure!" she said, mustering up as much enthusiasm as possible. Before she knew it, Bridget was pulling her out of the bathroom, down the hall and out the door. The secretary was to busy gabbing on the phone to even notice them slip by.

Kaylen and Bridget talked and giggled together while they walked down the road towards California Nails. It was a small spa type shop across the street from the Bendels. Kaylen knew this wasn't the best place for her to be seen at, but was her social standing as Queen really as important has friendship? You bet.

"Can we go somewhere else?" Kaylen pleaded, trying to slow Bridget down.

"Why? It's great here."

Kaylen eyed the shop nervously, "It looks like...gross."

Bridget shrugged and stepped into the shop, a bell ringing merrily as the door opened.

"Bridget! Darling!" Kaylen heard someone yell and turned to see a extremely large woman enveloping Bridget in a hug. Kaylen's eyes widened in fear as the woman approached her. Ignoring Kaylen's glare, the woman hugged her tightly too. Kaylen knew her, her name was Darla Chambliss and she was not the kind

Bridget looked over at Kaylen and smiled, nothing ever let her down. If anyone lived life to the fullest, it was defiantly Bridget. She never let anything or anyone get her down, even when she was dumped by Mark in the middle of a photo shoot.

Kaylen stood stone still and waited while Bridget put their request in.

"Okay, we're next." Bridget said, joining Kaylen by the door. She looked at Kaylen and then at Darla. "I know she's not what you would expect, but she's really great! Trust me."

Kaylen nodded, unconvinced. She hated when Bridget did that, like read her mind, it was annoying. She slipped in to a very uncomfortable chair and waited for a few minutes.

"Bridget! Kaylen! You're up."

Kaylen jumped out of her chair and headed towards a more comfortable looking leather recliner. She dunked her feet in suds, automatically relaxing. One of the ladies who worked there came up and began massaging her feet. Before she knew it, she fell asleep.

[this is a bit shorter due to the fact that i left what i had in my locker >.< so, ill be adding more detail later]
"in spite of everything, i still think people are good at heart" - anne frank.
  





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Mon May 05, 2008 1:02 am
Vampy_Girl15 says...



The only mistakes I saw were a few typos. Nothing really big. Once you re-read it I'm sure you'll catch them.
This is a good plot. I'm excited to read what happens next. Your main character is really strong, but maybe put more detail into some of the other charaters.
I really liked both parts and I can't wait to read more!

~Rachael
Some say laughing is the best medicine but what do you do when you can't laugh anymore?

Multiple personalities are just good social skills.
  





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Mon May 05, 2008 1:07 am
TNCowgirl says...



Queen really as important has friendship?

Maybe that is supposed to be as.


I didn't catch to much, but where exactly is this going? So far the only plot I've seen is envy and a screwed up boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, it looks really really good. It just doesn't seem like it is going anywhere yet. So, keep going and keep me updated when you put more so I can read it.

Peace


TNC
"And you wonder why we don't like you!" -Trumpkin
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Vist my world and make it bigger!
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Mon May 05, 2008 8:30 pm
Sweeney_Todd says...



Part 2 is up!!!! xD That's SO AWSOME!!!! (you did a really good job, too, btw)
Your journey began before you manifested in physical form here on this planet and will not cease when that physical representation of yourself is no longer capable of interacting with this world.
~Silver Ravenwolf (Wiccan Author)

Rick FTW!!!!!
  








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