Young Writers Society

This is just a bit more of the story, I haven't really had time to write much, but here it is! Oh, and I switch from 1st person to 3rd person around halfway through, I don't know why I even started writing in 1st person in the first place... If anyone has ideas for a better transition, please please please post them, I will love you forever

Or because I can’t live here without him… Wait, what if I can’t? Just the thought of never being able to see him again tightens my throat, constricts my breathing, makes me feel like I’m about to pass out.

I slam my now full bag forcefully onto my childish, flower-encrusted bed. ‘Good thing I’m leaving this life with him forever,’ I thought, ‘ I will never have to experience that kind of pain ever again.

Not like last time, when my chosen mate left me for another. “There will be no more Vanessas in my life, ” I growled furiously under my breath, “There will be no more feral half-breeds in my life. Most of us can control the urges, the temper, the desperate desire to show off who we truly are, what we can truly do. But no, not her, she had to show it, to use her prowess to become the ‘best’ at everything.” I laughed, “The best of who? That puny species we call humans?”

“ But no, the rest of us, the never-talked-about, the almost never-heard-of ülüàith krímnå, the ‘perfect ones’. She was just a half breed, half puny, weak human, and half powerful, strong, perfect ülüàithe. She had no control. Pshh, pathetic!”

***now in 3rd person***

And with that, she ran like the wind to his idling car. Faster, actually, she didn’t waste time on getting cold or being hit by raindrops. She laughed raucously as she ran by the slow, drenched humans, too fast for them to see her as anything other than a mere haze in the air through the pouring rain. Just as no one can focus on the mirage above a desert, none could comprehend her shape through the droplets and shadows.

Giggling exuberantly once again, she virtually flew into his front seat, “Hey, Kai, what’s up? Ready to go? All packed, let’s leave! I’m so over this life! I can’t take it any longer, this suppression, the hiding, the pretending to be stupid, to be human! Come on! Step on it!”

Kaianys laughed grimly and ‘stepped on it’. “As you wish milady,” he said in a mocking tone of voice, “wherever your heart desires.”

She, not noticing the ridicule, threw her head back, raised both arms above her head in a Y-shape reminiscent of the YMCA song, and screamed “Take me somewhere I’ve never been before, somewhere full of us, full of ülüàithes!”

So.. yeah, I wrote this fairly late at night (not that that's and excuse or anything), and comments or PMs would make me very very happy

Good continuation of your last one. I think you did well but the only thing that confused is:

Are they not human?

I'm not really understanding that part. I know you say in there that this girl is half-human, but what is the MC? (you can clear that up for me later )

But anyway, I think you should continue this. Maybe add more description but otherwise, nice job!