Spoiler! :
4. Part of the Journey
November 2002
They soon arrived at a semi-secluded edge of the park—though whether or not this area was actually part of the park was questionable. It looked like private property, but the way it was positioned seemed as though it was only an extension of the park.
At current, they were quickly approaching a small garden that was set cozily between a tall, old brick building and a cluster of trees. The leafy towers parted in such a way that it made a path from the park to the garden, where the picket-fenced entrance was facing the sidewalk.
James was beaming by the time he and Abigail arrived at the brown, vintage-looking wooden gate that stood just over five feet tall. He knew that it wasn’t locked—it was rarely ever locked—and so he pulled it open with ease as Abigail read the embossed words on the arch above the threshold.
“Casa dei Fiori… House of Flowers, right?”
“Yep... You know Italian?” He sounded surprised.
“I’m one-fourth Italian and my sister and I used to visit Italy almost every summer when we were younger; half of my Mom’s family’s still there,” Abigail answered easily. “Didn’t I tell you that?”
“Everything but the visiting part.”
“Oh, well… now you know!”
James nodded with a warm smile as he moved to usher her inside. When Abigail walked across the threshold, her eyes quickly caught sight of the overwhelmingly beautiful, lush garden. The virtually ten-by-twenty foot space was lit both by soft moonlight and colorful, oval paper lanterns that were strewn on rope overhead.
“James,” Abigail released breathily.
She was left speechless yet again. It was really just ridiculous, the amount of times she was left speechless because of this man. She would roll her eyes at herself if she could just get her mind to work with her body, but not even that was cooperating with her.
Darn him.
“You… uhmm, do you like it?” James looked nervous.
Was she grimacing or smiling? No, she was sure she was smiling; did he still have to ask?
“It’s beautiful, James,” she answered, still in a rather awed mental state. “What is this place? I mean—how do you know about it? I’ve lived a few blocks down from here for the past eight years, and I’ve never even known about it until now.”
James’ grin spread across his face again, his eyes expressing just as much glee.
“It’s actually my aunt’s—” James paused as he struggled with his leg to close the gate behind him. His hands were full and Abigail was a little too preoccupied admiring the view to notice that he needed some help.
“I thought you said—”
“It isn’t private property,” James assured. “Come on, don’t you trust me?”
Abigail pretended to ponder this for a moment, earning an indignant frown from her boyfriend. “I’m only kidding, James, of course I trust you,” she answered on a grin.
“Like I was saying.” He reverted to a jovial demeanor. “It’s my aunt’s work. She’s a landscape architect. I don’t really know the details, but it had something to do with getting employed by the state for this job. I think it’s been three years? Maybe even four?”
“Oh wow, that sounds really cool. So, then… that makes this… open to the public?”
James simply nodded, knowing better than to add a ‘duh’ at the end.
“Well then why is there a chain and key lock on the gate? It’s a part of the park, isn’t it?”
Ahh, so the detective’s attention to detail was the reason for the questioning.
“It didn’t always have a lock—heck, it didn’t always have a door. Both are fairly new. They were put in because there were little woodland creatures entering and screwing with the gerberas.”
Abigail couldn’t help but smile upon hearing his choice of words, “little woodland creatures.” Though what really got her was that he knew what gerbera daisies were—he had pointed to them when he had spoken. But in retrospect, he did say that his aunt was a landscape architect. So assumingly, he’d grown up with some amount of knowledge about flowers and trees and nature.
“Little woodland creatures, huh? Who knew Snow White’s little friends even liked to eat… what did you say? Gerberas?” Abigail teased, stepping deeper into the world of this hidden garden as James half-heartedly glared after her.
Only then did Abigail allow her gaze to roam idly away from her boyfriend and toward the garden around her.
It was incredibly green for November. Her gaze scanned the variety of flowers, some she recognized and others she had never seen before. Running like snakes along the old brick wall of the building were vines that seemed quite content with their location.
Abigail’s eyes drifted again, satisfying their curiosity as James stood by her side, watching her patiently and allowing her time to soak it all in. He was well aware of how much she adored nature.
Before long, Abigail spotted the empty bench that was pressed against the fence opposite the brick wall, and moved to take a seat there. To be honest, this place—the lush greenery, the glow from the paper lanterns, the soft, silvery light of the moon that cast itself upon everything it could reach—it all had Abigail so enchanted that she momentarily forgot James was there with her.
He took the empty seat beside her and placed the picnic basket on his right so that they could comfortably sit side-by-side. He watched Abigail as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back so that her face was level with the sky. James had never seen her look so relaxed and happy—so at ease with herself and everything around her. He wondered what was running through her mind in that instant. What could possibly allow her to be so at peace… and hopefully, happy?
“Hey,” Abigail said, pulling him out of his musings.
When had she opened her eyes?
“You okay? You were staring. Something wrong?”
“What? Oh, no,” James said sheepishly. “Sorry, it’s nothing.”
He flashed a toothy grin at her before moving to unfold the blanket and laying it out across the grass in front of them. Abigail, however, set her hand on his forearm, asking for his attention. She looked too sincere to ignore.
“It’s nothing; I promise,” James assured with a tentative smile, but she didn’t quite believe him. So, he answered truthfully, “I just thought you looked really beautiful tonight.” He smiled a little less hesitantly and a bit more genuinely, though almost as if he was embarrassed to share his extremely sappy thoughts.
For the briefest moment, Abigail wore an unreadable expression that only heightened James’ minute trepidation of getting punched in the face. She hated it when he said randomly sappy or sweet things like that.
But then, the unexpected happened. It seemed that a blush had begun to feather across her neck and cheeks.
“I… uhmm, thanks,” Abigail replied, almost uncharacteristically shy and awkward—but mostly awkward. She swept a wave of hair behind her ear as she mentally began to re-gather her bearings.
Darn the effect this man had on her.
“Hey,” James said in a lighter, more teasing tone. “You’re getting better at receiving compliments!”
Aaand… the shy little awkward girl was gone.
“Oww!” he exclaimed, rubbing his upper arm soothingly.
Wow, she had a killer right hook.
“Just set up the food, already,” Abigail said with what was assumingly an unconscious pout of the lips. That too, seemed all too girlish to be an intended effort.
James was well aware that she was anything but a girly girl, but like now, she had her moments. She was truly a contradiction—a sexy contradiction, no less.
After the two had settled onto James’ blanket, minutes of comfortable silence passed between them. James unloaded some of the food he packed while Abigail laid down, soaking in the chilly night air and watching the single visible light source in the sky: the full moon. She had the same contemplative, though content expression on her face, just as she had moments earlier. Something was definitely troubling her.
James copied his girlfriend’s position and lied down beside her with his hands underneath his head. He was surprised when Abigail almost immediately curled into his side, but it might’ve just been that she was cold. He really underestimated the cool temperature tonight.
He glanced down at the woman who was uncharacteristically quiet at his side, and couldn’t quite shake the curiosity that had begun to claim him—not to mention the look of distress in her appearance that tugged him to worry as well.
“You seem a little... off tonight, Abby. Everything okay?” James asked gently.
He moved just enough so that he could look at her directly. Abigail smiled up at him, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she looked again at the moon for a long moment before returning her attention to his green eyes.
“Is this about work? Can I do anything to help?”
Again, she was quiet.
Understanding her need for some mental alone time, James let her be, lying back down silently and comfortably beside her. He just had to give her time. She’d open up when she was ready. He hoped she would, anyway. She was unpredictable when it came to these kinds of things. It was both intriguing and infuriating.
Minutes later, Abigail’s quiet voice broke the silence they had veiled over themselves. “I’m sorry James. For being so… difficult tonight. It’s just been a long day.”
She finally took her eyes away from the sky, and turned her head into the side of his chest. Closing her eyes, she nuzzled her nose into the fabric of his coat; she felt safe there. And she knew that if she looked at him, he would see a kind of shyness on her face that she wished wouldn’t appear every time she needed support or comfort.
It aggravated her how instinctively closed off she was; she just couldn’t help it. She was a clam.
James smiled at her kindly even though she wasn’t looking. He knew that her job was hard; he knew it took a toll on her sometimes. “Tough day?”
“Mhmm,” Abigail hummed, nuzzling further into his side.
“I assume that means you caught the bad guy?” He said as a question, squeezing her arm lightly to get her attention.
“Well, yeah,” she said with a smile that soon turned into an excited grin. “Interesting take down too!”
With that exclamation, her earlier shyness was completely forgotten. Abigail sat up sideways and used her arm as a kickstand, grinning like a madman before telling him about the thrilling case—well, as much of it as was legal to tell.
James and Abigail laughed and began swapping stories about their week and even a few random ones from their childhoods. They continued like this until a familiar quiet and calm overcame the conversation, and only then did they really start eating.
Abigail watched the leaves of the trees sway and dance in the wind as James finished off his plate of macaroni and cheese. Tonight, with this man, in this very moment, Abigail felt at home. It scared her, but for once she wasn’t overanalyzing anything.
She knew what she wanted; she just wanted him. She just wanted to be happy with him, and she knew what that would take.
“Hey James?” Abigail said.
“Yep?”
James was still scarfing down the last few bites of his food when he raised an eyebrow in her direction. Seeing a startling seriousness on her face, he put his plate aside and watched her expectantly.
“I know I’m not...” she paused, uncharacteristically nervous and a bit fidgety. “…I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with, and I’m sure as hell not the easiest person to get to know, but—how do I say this?” Abigail nibbled at the edge of her bottom lip as she sent a self-conscious, pensive glance to the grass beside her. She looked like a five-year-old trying to figure out what kind of ice cream she wanted.
“Okay, I’m just going to come out with this, and I really hope you don’t hold anything against me.” She looked down at her fidgeting hands before meeting James’ invested gaze once more. “I know that you know that I’ve sort of been… avoiding this…uhm, the kissing thing, I mean—but I just need to make sure you know that it’s because I really like you.”
She paused to watch for a change in James’ expression, but he just stared at her—neither good, neither bad. So, she continued.
“Oh jeez, I probably sound like a nervous high school kid who’s never been kissed.” She rolled her eyes despite herself and that act, along with that statement elicited a small amused smile from her boyfriend. She’d take that. At least he wasn’t making fun of her.
“Okay I know that doesn’t really make much sense, but it’s just… ugh. Why is this so hard?” Abigail bowed her head to look at her fidgeting hands again before James reached out to tuck a wave of hair behind her ear and lift her face up from her chin. He looked at her seriously again.
“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t need to tell me anything if you don’t want to. But just know that you can tell me anything. Anything and everything.” He smiled kindly, encouragingly.
Abigail smiled back and shook her head.
“Thanks, but I just wanna get this out.”
James nodded and squared himself to face her better.
“Look, my parents never had the… ‘healthiest’ relationship in the world, and even though my mom isn’t around anymore, or even for most of my growing up years… what I could remember of their relationship really affected me. They’d fight all the time, and then make-out and then they’d put a show on for me and my sister, pretending that everything was okay again. But just as quickly as they kissed, they’d be back at fighting again—sometimes even throwing things. That was how it always was. It was the norm in my house.
“And so, after my mom died, I just sort of related the idea of kissing in a relationship as the thing that’d break people apart. That idea stayed with me until junior high. Of course I don’t believe that anymore! It’s just—”
She stopped abruptly and ran an anxious hand through her hair before meeting his eyes again. He smiled encouragingly.
“—It’s just that… you’re different. You’re different than other guys I’ve gone out with. It’s just a little scary, and I just don’t want to rush things. You know? I don’t wanna mess up. And, I’m sorry for holding out on you with this stuff—”
“—Hey, hey… Abby, no.” James reached out and grabbed one of her fidgeting hands, taking it away from her lap to rest in his own as he said, “You’re a private person, I get it. It isn’t your thing to let just anybody in on your life, and I’m honestly honored to be one of the few that have been allowed to go passed that private partition of your life.”
He grinned and her tense shoulders relaxed just so as she sent him a grateful smile.
“So… you’re not mad?” Abigail asked, still a little shy.
“No, I’m not mad,” James assured. His tender smile was still fixed in place. “I’m honored… and grateful. And I’m glad to know that you actually like me.” They both exchanged a chuckle, but James sobered quickly adding, “But really, Abby. There’s no need to rush into anything here. I’d like to believe that you’re worth it. That this…” he paused, gesturing to the both of them, “…This is worth it.”
Abigail replied with watery eyes and a soft, heartfelt smile before pushing away the seriousness and returning to their usual atmosphere with a toothy grin on her face.
“Okay, finish your food now,” she said, nodding toward his not yet finished plate of macaroni and cheese.
At first, the silence that took the air was a little awkward, but then Abigail had the idea to play some music. It’s a wonder why she never before noticed the radio in the picnic basket.
A few songs played out, and they sat contentedly in each other’s presence. They watched the moon, the flowers, the trees, and listened to the New York City nightlife whir underneath the music.
Abigail ecstatically leapt to her feet when Ginuwine’s “Differences” came on the radio, and she held her hands out to James.
“I love this song! Dance with me!”
“Wait, what?” James’ eyes were wide with surprise. “No, no. It’s okay.”
“Come on, James! Just this once, I promise! No one’s even around but us. Come on, please?” Abigail held the sweetest smile to her lips as was humanly possible, and it took all of three seconds for it to melt James’ hesitations away.
He couldn’t do anything but laugh as Abigail tugged him to his feet. It wasn’t that he didn’t like dancing; it was just cold out and he was feeling a little lazy. Though in all honesty, just he didn’t think it would have been beneficial to his health if he denied his badass cop girlfriend a dance.
When James was on his feet, he pulled her in close and they grooved together. It was the first time they’d danced with each other.
They both knew the words pretty well, but he was the one to mouth most of it to her. Before long, they both got into it and stepped away from each other, singing the lyrics at the top of their lungs.
Soon enough, the song began to fade away and a new one picked up. It was then that they looked each other, really looked at each other, and Abigail’s smile widened into a grin. An odd surge of warmth swelled her chest, and she knew what exactly she wanted.
They relaxed and sat down on the bench behind them as James said with a grin that matched hers, “Well, that was fun. I didn’t know you knew the whole song.”
“Yeah,” Abigail replied on a contented sigh, still smiling. She was hatching a plan. She just needed to wait for him to finish talking.
“Don’t we have great voices?” James joked. “I think we should go down to that karaoke hut by my place and sing one for the drunks out there! I’m sure they’d be glad to hear us. We could be like Sonny and Cher!”
“Seriously?” Abigail laughed and shook her head incredulously. “That’s the best you’ve got?”
“What? They’re the first ones that came to mind! And—”
“Hey James,” Abigail interrupted, pausing a few beats after he’d answered her.
“Yep?”
“Shut up and come ‘ere.”
Abigail grinned slyly before bunching up a fist of James’ collar and pulling him purposefully toward herself, catching his lips with hers in a surprisingly tender touch.
This, their first kiss, didn’t last very long – nor was it very wild, but it was enough.
Abigail had said earlier in the night that, at least for now, maybe he—they—could be enough for her; that possibility didn’t seem too far gone any longer. In truth, it never had. It was just one of those things that she had to allow to churn and settle in her mind before acting on. It was still in the settling process, but at least now she was getting closer to the end result.
Or, at least, try.
I really could just jump in; I didn't need any background to figure out what was going on or who or when or where, because it was all beautifully described. I loved all the word choice and imagery, especially of the setting in the park as well as emotions and feelings. These, I feel, were the most important things to be described anyhow, so great job!
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Points: 520
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