z

Young Writers Society


Savior: Chapter Four



User avatar
153 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1532
Reviews: 153
Thu Aug 25, 2011 5:51 am
AngelKnight900 says...



Andre

Hope to see you soon

The man's voice still echoed in my head.

Did I really become this girl's prince charming? Maybe, but I didn't get a princess in return. A spoiled one, I will say. But maybe I should have apologized for being harsh. She was trying to say something earlier and I came off too hard.

I could go up to her room but what would that say? I wasn't going to argue with myself. This was my house actually.

My footsteps were the only sound as I walked up the stairs and through the hallway. I knocked on the door but she didn't answer it.

"Hey, I'm coming in," I announced

She didn't say anything so I opened the door. I found her praying and she didn't seem to acknowledge my presence. Judging by her tears on the bed covers, she was probably acknowledging someone else's.

"Hey, don't cry," I cooed, standing next to her

She kept on praying. I lived a good life so I guess she had a reason to pray since this was happening to her. I walked over to the doors that led to the balcony.

"So what? You're praying to your God about how you're stuck here with me?" I scoffed and opened the doors "Is he going to strike me with lightning?"

Then, like it was on cue, thunder boomed and lightning struck. The power actually went down too.

Great

"Don't panic. I'm just going to get some candles and-"

A bright light flashed in my face; she found a flashlight. She threw me an extra one and went to the door.

"Did you want to tell me something?"

Did she know I was going to say something?

"You did come to my room for a reason, right?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, " I whispered

"No need to worry. I have already forgiven you,"

Weird. This girl was very strange but I bet if I was a hard-ass christian, people would probably think of me the same way, so I just smiled at her. We went downstairs to get some candles and I couldn't help but glance at her body. I liked the way she walked; it made her body look even more sexier. But I know I can't continue these thoughts. I had to love her for something more than her body, right?

"Stop staring," she ordered.

She got me but I could see a playful glow in her eyes when she looked back at me, so I smiled. It must have been the light from the flashlight because she looked straight ahead abruptly and tightened her grip on the flashlight. I took a few steps back; we were in the dark so she actually had an advantage here.

We finally found some candles in the kitchen and we lit them all over the room.

"You know, it's only ten. We can explore the mansion a little bit more,'' I persuaded

"There's something engraved on the floor, near the stairs. I want you to go and read it," she informed

We went to go look near the stairs on the floor. Strangely, there was actually some writing.

In the kitchen

We walked to the kitchen and stood there.

''Is this some kind of trick?" I asked, feeling annoyed

She started opening cupboards and pantries. "Here. Was your great-grandfather a fan of coffee?''

I stood behind her. She opened a cupboard full of coffee, and she started to take each can out.

"What are you doing?'

"There's something in the back,"

In the way back, there was a door. On it, it said Only those who hold the key to my will, shall be able to open this

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Too many people might actually take this metaphorically and might go through tons of research and study to get what this means" Then she did that cute scoff of hers '' It's like everyone forgot how to think outside the box,"

"What do you mean?'' I was starting to admire this girl's intelligence.

"You have to take it literally. He made it too easy to find the door so why not just confuse your enemies. Give me the key to the house,''

The key was right in my pocket but could I trust this girl? "I'll open it,"

I took the key out and opened the door. There was a white check in there.

To my great grandson Andre. I was expecting you here. That sent a chill down my spine. Maybe this chick was talking to my dead great-grandfather. I kept on reading.

Either you came here with your mom or possibly a lady friend I looked at Madison and looked back at the letter.

I give you this check so you can use it to your full expense. But spend it wisely. I hope you got the birthday money I saved for you. I did.

Have fun in my mansion and live here like a King

I looked at the check. One million dollars. What was I going to do with all that money?

"There's a nearby bank if you want to cash that,"

God, she scared me. I almost forgot she was here.

''Are you crazy? I have enough money in my wallet to take care of us,''

''Us?"

I looked at her in surprise. But wait, I'm not her boyfriend or anything but I did do all of this for her.

''Yes, us,"

"What about clothes and food and-''

''Madison, I'm here to protect you and to also care for you,''

She smiled. A real genuine smile. i watched as she left the kitchen to go upstairs, leaving me with the coffee mess in the kitchen. She won't get away next time

I noticed there were a list of numbers on the fridge. They were to order food in and designer clothes and whatnot. I looked at the check in my hands and then touched my wallet

I'll pay the expenses. It's the least I can do

I checked my cellphone for any calls. I couldn't get any signals from here.

I'll call Mom tomorrow.

I went back to the living room, blowing off the flames of each candle I passed. I threw the covers over me and stretched my legs on the huge couch.

Before I could turn off the last candle, I heard small footsteps through the storm. I felt someone was behind me.

"Madison, are you okay?''

She was crying.

"You're probably sixteen and you still manage to be afraid of thunderstorms?''

This made her turn in anger, but it was the truth, right. I took a hold of her wrist and brought her close to me.

"Sorry. Just try to relax. You'll be fine," I cooed

I could feel her tears on my hands while the thunder roared even louder and the lightning struck brighter. She pulled on my shirt and brought herself close to my chest.

''I can just-''

''Stay," she pleaded "Just stay,"

So she decided to sleep with me, in this small couch. I wouldn't mind that comfortable bed, but it wasn't a moment to complain. I felt her breathing slightly heavy which may mean that she's asleep. I passed my hands through her hair and sunk deep in the couch with her, blowing the last candle.

Her hand held my shirt in a balled up fist, so I hugged her and her hand relaxed. I didn't know if she thought it was right to come up to me in such an outfit but I guess for now, it didn't matter.

"I..." I couldn't say it now.

I sighed in defeat and wrapped the blanket on us even more.

I love you, Madison
True confidence leaves no room for jealousy. When you know your are great, you have no need to hate.
-Nicki Minaj
  





User avatar
33 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2181
Reviews: 33
Thu Aug 25, 2011 7:44 am
BlondieMissyAngel says...



I really enjoyed reading this but I did find it a bit choppy. How did Madison know all that? It was almost as if she had practiced it all. I think that there is room for more discription here and I am looking foward to see how the next part goes. How did the grandfather die? I am on my way to read the first three chapters now maybe that will give me a bit more insight. It seems as if the main and Madison are caught in a love hate relationship. He loves her and she's a bit confused by it all. I like that. At first it was a bit hard to follow and it is also a really short chapter. I am looking foward to seeing more discription and clearence that will hopefully come to me with the other chapters =]
yours truly
Blondie Missy Angel
Going down a rabbit hole, get away from all we know!
  





User avatar
60 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2675
Reviews: 60
Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:31 pm
Narnialover4ever1 says...



Hmm... it was a bit choppy but a great story overall.

'Weird. This girl was very strange but I bet if I was a hard-ass christian, people would probably think of me the same way, so I just smiled at her. We went downstairs to get some candles and I couldn't help but glance at her body. I liked the way she walked; it made her body look even more sexier. But I know I can't continue these thoughts. I had to love her for something more than her body, right? '

That part was good. I like how Andre narrates it's tough but sweet, when he's talking about Madison. Good job!

Keep writing,
Narnialover4ever1
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again'

'Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar. I wonder if she's feeling well.
With a dreamy far off look.
And her nose stuck in a book' Something my best friend, Drew, said about me
  








I support the shrek message.
— MiniGem26