Chapter 2
Flipping through my Math book, I couldn’t think.
All that went through my mind, even though I regretted it, was Harry.
I put my iPod volume higher to try to empty out my thoughts.
“I can’t believe I fell for this!” I sang to Demi Lovato’s Solo.
No, that was definitely the wrong song in my condition. I kept on playing next, looking for a good song.
“Someday…” I sang out.
Wrong too! Rob Thomas, you aren’t helping me here!
Justin Timberlake, Fall Out Boy, We The King, Forever The Sickest Kids, Hilary Duff, Miley Cyrus, Ozzy Osbourne… Crap; no songs.
Finally!
I turned up the volume and sang out “Sweet Child of Mine!”
My computer made a bleep noise and I looked up at it.
No.
No.
No.
NO!
I stared at my Navy colored walls in disgust. Why did Harry have to know my IM?
Harry: r u okay? U ran off like a chicken.
No, I will not type back.
I looked at it for a bit longer.
Jess: Yes, im fine.
He should at least know that I’m fine.
Harry: Oh really? One second ur all nice to me and then the next u wanna bite my head off.
Jess: that’s so not true
Harry: Yes it is.
Jess: No its not!
Harry: Yes it is!
Jess: NO ITS NOT!!!!
Harry: Yes Jess, it is.
OH MY GOD! I slammed my laptop shut.
No, he’s just ridicules.
I dug my head in my hands and breathed deeply.
My laptop bleeped a couple more time.
I opened it once again and saw:
Harry: Jess r u there?
Harry: Jess???
Another chat box was blinking and I pressed it.
Georgie: Whoa wat happened at skool 2day?
I’m pretty sure that she’s refuring to what happened between me and Harry.
She wanted me to tell her on the bus, but I told her that I’d tell her later.
I looked out the window and saw the wind rustling through the naked trees. Snow was falling down from the sky, which made me smile.
I’ve always loved snow, it just looked so beautiful, innocent, and clean.
“Dreamer” by Ozzy Osbourne blasted through my iPod Soother and I started to follow the words.
I do dream my life away.
I dream of better days.
This song is about me.
A tear ran down my cheek.
This song always made me tear up. It’s just so beautiful. I have that kind of soul that falls into music. The song that plays, that’s how I feel.
My heart started to pound faster when Harry popped into my mind.
Erase him. Maybe that’ll work.
No, no it didn’t.
Bleep.
I looked at the screen.
Harry: Jess, r u there?!
Jess: No, now LEAVE ME ALONE!
I logged off the IM and started to do my homework.
***
I couldn’t sleep.
The cars lights zoomed through the window and onto my peace sign wall.
I tried to sleep. I shut my eyes, but they hurt so I opened them.
Harry.
Harry.
Harry Potter!
No, that’s not the Harry I want to think about. But I should.
He kissed me. Just a couple of hours ago his lips were on mine. Our bodies were touching. My heart was speeding.
He helped me. He cared.
STOP IT JESSICA FULLER!
Just stop it.
I looked at my hands and tried to concentrate on them. Nope, that didn’t help me.
I sighed and jumped out of the world’s most comfortable bed.
I sat on my desk chair and opened my laptop. My eyes started to hurt, so I blinked a couple of times.
I turned on my IM to see if anyone was online.
Oh my, it was one o’clock in the morning! I’ll never get up in the morning.
Bleep.
It was Harry.
My heart stopped as did my breathing.
I let my breathe go.
Harry: u aren’t sleepin either.
Jess: nope. I can’t.
I looked out the window and saw a full moon.
Great, werewolves are out now. Just kidding, I don’t believe in that.
Harry: me either. I cant stop thinking bout u.
No.
No.
Jess: me too.
What?! I so did not want to type that!
I press the right button of my mouse and hit edit message.
Jess: wow, u really need to get over it.
No, that’s bad too. Delete Delete Delete!
Jess (edited): Uhuh.
Okay, that’s just worse.
Harry: that’s all ur gonna say?
Crap.
Jess: Wat am I supposed 2 say?! I LOVE U 2
WHOA!
“Oh my frick!” I whispered loudly to myself.
I should’ve put a question mark after it.
He never said love. He said like.
Harry: u wat?
Now, no one can say that over the IM. I mean you can see it!
Jess: I meant: what am I supposed 2 say? I love u 2? As in, just a question.
Harry (edited): right.
Jess: wat did u want 2 write?
I’m the only one who takes the (edited) symbol seriously. People should write what they wanted to at the first time.
Harry: nothin
Jess: really? Nothin?
Harry: God Jess, it’s edited for a reason. For u to not know.
Jess: Well, I want to know!!!!!
Harry: u can’t have everything ur way. I mean, I cant fall out of love to u. And even though u hate it I cant. In ur world I would hate u as much as u hate me. In ur world there would be no school. In ur world I wouldn’t even be there!
Jess: ….um…uh… u don’t know my world!
Harry: But its wat I wrote, right?
I felt something roll down my cheek. It was warm and ran down like water. Once it landed on my lips, I tasted it. Tears.
My heart beated harder and faster.
Why is he doing this to me?
Doesn’t he know I love him?
………..I don’t love him…….
Why would he think that? Why would he hurt me like that?
Gosh, when I’m sleepy I’m not myself! It’s like being drunk (I’ve never been drunk though, but I’ve seen people like that).
Jess: Just leave me alone. Ur pissing me off
Harry: I don’t want to.
Jess: well u have no other choice! Just go away forever! Like in “my world”
I slammed the computer shut and sobbed.
I’m telling you, when I’m sleepy, I’m not me.
***
Georgie was at my side when we walked in the very hallway where Harry kissed me.
I felt a warm something form at the bottom of my stomach when I saw my locker.
“Are you okay?” Georgie asked me.
I shook my head but said “Yeah, just perfect.”
My heart broke when I put in my combination.
The blue locker flew open as I waved to Georgie. She had to go to her locker fast. There was only two minutes to the bell.
I held my tears; I must’ve still been sleepy.
Someone stood next to me but I didn’t turn my head.
“Jess…” Harry sighed.
Can’t he ever leave me alone?
I acted as if I was searching for something in my locker and I couldn’t hear him.
“Huh…?” I asked still having my head in the locker.
I swung my backpack in front of me and pulled out some books. Laying them in locker, I pulled some and put it in my backpack.
I locked my locker and looked at Harry.
He wore a Hollister yellow sweatshirt with blue skinny jeans. But, his black converse caught my eye. I wore the same ones.
“I wanted to say sorry.” He spit out.
“For what?” I acted as If I forgot everything.
A smile was plastered on my face, but I still felt the sadness rise up inside me. Tears tried to burst out but I held them.
I sniffed.
“For what happened last night, I didn’t mean anything.”
“Even when you said you couldn’t sleep because you were thinking about me?” my acting job was over.
Trying to act as if I forgot everything didn’t work.
A smile was forming at the side of his mouth but then he stopped it.
“Even that,” he said uncertainly.
“Liar,” I murmured.
He breathed in deeply as did I.
My hair was in a side braid and I pulled at it, trying to hold in my tears. It was No use.
One tear sprung out and I wipped it.
No, I couldn’t hold another second with him.
I walked away from him and headed down to the English classroom.
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